Your Dream is Not Dead Yet

About two years ago, we had our new house landscaped, front and back. We’re talking major overhaul.

One of the plants our designer had recommend was a Pride of Madeira. It’s a bold, big, round plant commonly seen here in Northern California that can quickly get unwieldy if not properly maintained. But when it is properly loved, the purple conical flowers look so lovely amidst all that green.

We planted two in the backyard and two in the front.

The backyard ones quickly consumed the yard and, instead of offering up their lovely purple cone-shaped blooms, simply grew into unwieldy large green bushes. My husband tried pruning it the way he’d read about online, but nothing seemed to happen. We decided to rip those out and replace them with other options, as well as one of the ones in the front that was quickly threatening to take over our neighbor’s driveway.

There was one in the front, however, that we left along the side of the driveway. My husband worked on it when he could. But two seasons passed with no purple blooms. And it was just too big. We read that our big mistake had been not pruning these plants often enough in the beginning. The green leaves took over, hogging vital nutrients the purple flowers needed to bloom. My husband made a few attempts on this last surviving one, but still…nothing.

“Rip it out,” I begged my husband. “There are no blooms. You tried to prune it, but the flowers are just dead. They won’t come in now” I thought it must be beyond saving and didn’t want this big green monstrosity in the front yard anymore.

And then…..

This past year, my husband tried one more time and really hacked at it. It looked anemic. But, finally, as it overnight, huge purple blooms spread across the bush. It was stunning. (See photo above)

The plant wasn’t dead yet. It just wasn’t properly nurtured.

The lesson here is not to keep banging your head against the wall in futility about a dream or a goal. The lesson is simply this:

Don’t give up on your dreams and goals before they are given the proper chance to bloom.  (TWEET THIS!)

Take a look at all avenues and be honest with yourself and what you’ve done to achieve them before you decide it is no longer viable. We gave half-assed attempts at nurturing this plant and too quickly said, “It’s done. It’s over.” That was on us. And saying things like, “I’m too old” or “I’m not smart enough” or “I don’t have the right connections” are simply excuses, not realities.

Before you give up on your business, book, or big idea, remember: Your dream may not be dead yet. It might just need some extra loving care and the right nutrients before it can bloom.

Photo credit: Maria Ross

Managing Entrepreneurship and Motherhood: A Chat with Sara Dean

How do you juggle the dueling demands of parenthood and running your own business or career? Are you managing it with aplomb or do you feel like a crazy person most of the time?

I admit to the latter.

See, I had this image of running my own business and doting on my sweet babe with grace and ease. Reality quickly set in and I have never, ever felt that kind of pressure before. An imaginary timer would start counting down from the moment I woke up to the minute I went to bed…and there was never enough time to do anything well.

I remember being a guest on a globally-recognized podcast while my newborn yelled in the background with the sitter I had to hire just for the call…and conducting another phone interview by headset while breastfeeding. Not to mention scrambling to finish client work in stolen moments of time because my son arrived earlier than expected.

The good news is that my little man has taught me more about prioritization, negotiation and setting boundaries than any self-help guru or leadership class ever could. 

Which is why I was thrilled to talk and laugh with shameless mom Sara Dean: Author, speaker, podcaster, and host of the top-ranked The Shameless Mom Academy podcast.

She coaches women on how to reclaim their identities and live bigger, bolder and braver #everydamnday.

We covered it all in the video interview below: Unrealistic expectations, owning your space, modern motherhood, the myth of balance, why men have less flexibility than women, prioritization, goal setting and how we ALL can support working moms (and dads) everywhere.

We also talked about how mothers make the best employees and how leaders who are moms get so good at negotiation, they could create world peace in days!

Sara’s golden nugget of wisdom:

Give yourself space and grace to figure out what you want BUT take radical responsibility to take one action every day to get you closer to your goals. (Tweet This!)

If you struggle to juggle your business, family and personal life–or simply want to be more productive and efficient–please click below to enjoy this video:

YouTube video

Highlights include:

How the “magical motherhood” picture was a myth and how Sara turned things around to reclaim her work and life ([5:45]): “I got really clear on how I was going to divide my time.”

What modern motherhood looks like, why even men don’t have as much flexibility – and why moms make the best employees and leaders ([10:30]): “What I love about modern motherhood is that it looks like whatever the heck you want it to look like!” and “Our next President should be a mom with six kids!”

Why balance is not real and how to think about “seasons” instead. And why the hustle and grind philosophy doesn’t work for everyone ([16:52])

Sara’s foolproof tips and tools for planning and goal-setting ([20:55]): “What are the three things that will lead to revenue today?”

What each of us–and society­–can do to support entrepreneurial (and working) moms and dads ([24:21]): “What would systemically go a long way to support women and men in growing their success is to really check ourselves on our own judgment. Be supportive.”

How we can support each other ([27:19]): “The more we can be supportive for each other, the more we can own our space, own our decisions and own what we’re doing.”

How to look at others’ successes without falling into a jealousy trap or downward spiral. And how to own what you are doing ([30:12]): “I want to model what I think women should be doing. If you have a major accomplishment, let people know! I’m not going to apologize for success building.”

Why your personal story is everything if you want more publicity and growth ([34:16]): “Connect your story to where you are now and the gifts you’re giving to the world.”

How to take radical responsibility for all your “Yes’s” and “No’s” – and how to get good at saying no in a graceful way. HINT: Stop talking so much! ([47:29]0: “Give yourself space and grace to figure out what you want to do. But also, that doesn’t mean you have the excuse of space and grace to not do anything, or not take action for a really long time. With the space and grace, have the radical responsibility of taking action. Do one thing every day that gets you closer to a goal.” 

What did you think of this video? How do you currently manage motherhood and your business, work or career? Drop me a line over on over on Twitter or the Facebook page and let me know!

ABOUT SARA: 

Sara Dean is the creator and host of the Shameless Mom Academy Podcast, which has been featured in 5 categories of iTunes New & Noteworthy for almost 2 years now, and is rapidly approaching one million downloads.  Sara’s biggest passion is helping women own their space.  After enduring her own identity crises following the birth of her son, Sara took her background in psychology/health/ wellness and rebuilt her identity, one step at a time.  Sara motivates and inspires women to stop shrinking and start growing.  She is on a mission to inspire women and moms, in particular, to live bigger, bolder, braver #everydamnday.

The Myth of Authenticity

The Myth of Authenticity

Be authentic. Have an authentic brand. I want to be seen as authentic.

Everyone’s all about “authenticity” these days. Which really hasn’t changed all that much since I first blogged about this in 2011. And yet, marketers and entrepreneurs are still fretting out about it.

It’s time to bust this myth of authentic branding, once and for all.

Authentic is not something you can BE. It is a way of being that is unique to whatever you already are, what you deliver or how you serve people.

Trying to be “authentic” is like trying to “be original.” An original what? Authentic to what? How does this show up in the world?

When experts advise you to be authentic, all they are really saying is to be who you are.  Play to your true strengths. Don’t try to slap on “coat of brand paint,” as I like to say. This is the very reason why your brand must be lived from the inside out.

Some confuse authenticity with transparency, or homemade, or natural. If that is who your brand and business really are, then, yes. You are being authentic if you convey that vibe. But if you are truly a loud, obnoxious and rabble-rouser, your brand can convey those traits and “authentically” be that, too.

All authentic really means is that you walk your talk and deliver what you promise.(TWEET THIS!)

It’s not an “end state” to aspire to, it’s a way of being what you already are and showing that to your audience. Period.

What I believe entrepreneurs and marketers often mean when they say they desire an “authentic” brand is that they want to be seen as down-to-earth, conversational, approachable, open or direct. If so, then use those attributes. Don’t say authentic. It should be a given that your brand walks its talk.

You can be an elite, exclusive, downright snobby brand and, if that’s truly what your organization delivers and what you convey in all of your messaging and design, then it is an authentic brand as well.

And please don’t take things too far! Being authentic is also not the same as having no filter. It’s not an excuse to forget about your audience’s needs and what would be valuable for them. Personally, I don’t find an Instagram feed full of what a thought leader ate for breakfast “authentic.” To me, that’s just egotistical. If, however, showing me the “behind the scenes” glimpses offers value, then great. Share the story, lesson, or failure so I can learn something. Heck, make me laugh or inspire me. That’s adding value, too. Be real…as long as it’s genuine to who you are AND in service to the promise you made your audience.

Authenticity is not a state to be achieved that means one thing. Authentic is a qualifier: Your brand is authentically….what?

Soul-Sucking or Soul-Stirring?

A good friend of mine had to let one of her best friendships go.

They’d had a good run. But recently, things got hard. This friend was dragging her down with negativity and selfishness, constantly putting my friend in the position of cheerleader. Worse, she stole my friend’s joy about her own happiness and success. This left no room for my friend’s own needs in the relationship.

The whole deal just became a chore.  My friend left their meet-ups sad, cranky and tired. Like a black cloud had descended upon her. It would take her days to recover.

That, my friend, is soul-sucking. Something that literally sucks the life right out of you.

We all have soul-sucking relationships, not just with people but with behaviors and tasks, too. Maybe yours include doing your books, binging on unnecessary purchases or sweets–both of which you know you’ll regret later– just to make yourself feel better, writing blog posts…or cleaning the toilet.

Soul-sucking is not always obvious. Sometimes it disguises its clever self as need, ambition, progress or even love and commitment.

  • The social media you religiously post with a sigh because you think you have to do it to promote your business.
  • The many “pick your brain” coffee dates you commit to because you can’t say no.
  • The client who pays a ton of money but fights you at every turn…and doesn’t appreciate you.

We often confuse soul-sucking for soul-stirring. We confuse difficult work, anger, drama or resentment with passion. (TWEET THIS!)

Why? Maybe because we believe that anything that keeps us busy moves us forward.  That, if it’s difficult, it must be worth it.

And from personal experience, I once believed a very toxic, soul-sucking relationship was soul-stirring because it was dangerous, unpredictable and volatile. I mean, fireworks, right? Surely that’s love! Except all those sparks only burned me over and over again.

What does soul-sucking look and feel like?

  • You approach it as an obligation rather than a joyful necessity.
  • Time stands still when you do it or are with that person. It seems interminable.
  • You would never do it if you had a choice.
  • Stomachache. Anger. Regret. Dread. Shame.

But what does soul-stirring look and feel like?

  • Time flies by and you’re in the zone.
  • You get more creative, innovative and energetic.
  • You feel alive, tingling, and utterly free.

If you feel overwhelmed, take a thoughtful look at how you spend your time–and with whom you spend it.

Here are some tips for banish soul-sucking behaviors from your work and life:

Maybe you’ll find that what you thought was good for your business….or soul….is actually killing it, little by little. 

It’s time to recommit to the good kind of soul drama!

 

How to Make Good Habits Stick: A Chat with Sarah Von Bargen

Have you ever committed to a productive or healthy habit only to have it all fall apart and revert back to status quo within a month, a week….or an hour?

Yes, I’m talking about that daily afternoon scone I said I would give up forever, but by 2 pm had already scarfed down. Please don’t judge.

We all have. We’re human.

It’s so easy to talk about productivity habits, or “hacks” (I abhor that word when used for anything other than computer espionage) but it’s an entirely different thing to make them stick.

Which is why I was thrilled to talk with the charming and wise Sarah Von Bargen, lifestyle blogger at YesandYes.org and creator of the Make It Stick Habit School.

Sarah graciously spent some time talking to us about the mental game of why we flake out on good habits, how we can ensure we don’t, and which habits have worked for her in running her business more efficiently and profitably. (Hint: Steal these!)

We talk about everything from procrastination to guilt to time management to, heck, healthy habits for content creation, analyzing your analytics and networking. And how to make them such easy habits, that your day will feel strange if you DON’T do them.

The best habits are things that are incredibly fast and very, very doable. (Tweet this!)

If you feel like your work or time is running YOU more than you are running it, please grab a notepad and click below to enjoy this video:

YouTube video

Highlights include:

How to be successful without getting overwhelmed:

  • People who were simultaneously successful and not overwhelmed are people who put good business habits on auto-pilot…Because they put these good business habits on autopilot, they removed the stress from it. [2:48]

What causes us to abandon good habits so quickly:

  • If you are constantly looking outside of yourself for solutions, buying things you don’t use, procrastinating and over researching, you are going to have a hard time moving forward [7:52]
  • If you can associate the physical feelings, stress headache or stomach aches, with these bad habits, you will develop a distaste for them. [11:20]

Sarah’s success habits that can work for you, too (P.S. Llama farm is optional, but seriously, why would you want it to be?!):

  • In a perfect world, you will know your best work times. So if you know when you’re most strategic, you can block out your calendar for these habits. [15:45]
  • I swear up and down by writing retreats. Once a month, I go to the same Airbnb, and I do 90% of my writing in 2 nights…I still write every day, but the bulk of my writing is done in two nights at this llama farm in Wisconsin. [17:49]
  • Being a happy and successful business person is knowing your strengths, knowing your weaknesses, outsource properly and knowing what success looks like for you. [21:27]

Powerful business success habits that you can start TODAY:

  • [Networking emails] You have to do it so often and so much that a) your day feels weirdly incomplete if you don’t do it and b) you send so many emails that you loose track of who does and doesn’t respond. [24:53]
  • Once or twice a month, look at your website analytics to determine where your traffic is coming from and what things you are publishing are the most popular. [28:12]
  • Updating old blog posts and re-promoting them. [29:40] 

What good habits are you committing to? Drop me a line over on Twitter or the Facebook page and let me know!

ABOUT SARAH:

Sarah is a writer, blogger, lover of cats and cheese… and creator of online courses that make your life and work happier and more productive. Read her incredible lifestyle blog, which attracts more than 14,000 visitors daily, and find out more about her courses, including the Make It Stick Habit School at Yes and Yes.

How to Make Impossible Dreams Possible

Alice laughed: “There’s no use trying,” she said; “one can’t believe impossible things.”  

“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day.  

Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.  

– from Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll 

We all hold what we believe to be impossible dreams in our hearts.

When I was three years old, I truly believed that if I jumped off the top of the stairs in just the right way, I would take flight (thankfully I was too chicken to test this theory).

Your impossible dream might be quitting your job and traveling the world, writing a novel, becoming a CEO, starting a successful business, giving a TED talk or, more simply creating a life you love, complete with financial stability, family time and personal growth.

Do these dreams seem impossible? Depends on your perspective. I personally know people who have achieved EACH of these dreams. Real, live human beings with no more superpowers than you or me.

If your dreams feel impossible or out of reach right now, here are four tips to get you there:

Just Start

Lean in and take the first step and the right people and resources will present themselves to you. Guaranteed. If you take the first action, it creates a ripple effect. This has happened to me time and again. The very first step is simply putting your kooky dream out there so others can offer contacts and support to move you forward. Want to start a YouTube channel? Commit to 30 minutes tomorrow to do some research on how to make it happen. Some other ways you can take the first step are to get your thoughts on paper, or schedule time in your calendar each week to work on it.

Focus

If you are aiming for six impossible things right now (like the Queen in Alice), you may not be successful. It’s like trying to push multiple things uphill rather than one specific stone. Focus your energies on one dream at a time and make progress rather than scrambling to push a bunch of things forward and watching them each slip backwards the minute you jump to something else. A wise friend of mine always says, “You can do everything you want, but you don’t have to do it all right now!” I still have “Publish a children’s book” on my Dream List and someday, I’ll get to it. Just not now.

Be Decisive

Ah, this is so hard, right? See “Focus” issue above. But if you want to make dreams a reality, you have to have what an old manager of mine used to call “a bias toward action.” Perfection is your enemy. Make a decision, test it out, and if it fails, well, now you have more information, don’t you? Don’t be the person that wants to launch but delays it by years because you can’t quite find the right name. If you are an indecisive type, seek out objective help to force the decision.

Find the Next Step

Remember the song “Put One Foot in Front of the Other” from the old Christmas special, Santa Claus is Coming to Town? Wise words. You know your end goal, but you might not be able to see the clear path to get there until you start walking. Focus more on the “what” and “why” and take the next step right in front of you – the “how” will eventually find you or become more clear. If your dream is to write a book, start with determining the topic and preparing an outline of your thoughts. Don’t worry yet about how you’ll do the research or if you’ll get an agent right now. Take one step forward and, like emerging out of the fog, the path illuminates as you go.

Impossible dreams can be made possible when you focus, take action and put one foot in front of the other. (Tweet this!)

 

Invest in a Woman, Invest in a Nation

In case you were asleep, International Women’s Day was on March 8.  News outlets, celebrities and many brands trumpeted the news. It is officially women’s time to shine.

There is no denying that influential men and women are finally waking up to the fact that when women succeed, the entire economy benefits and society improves. Period. There’s plenty of data.

In fact, an Entrepreneur.com article states that if women-owned businesses disappeared in the U.S. today,” the Center for Women’s Business Research (CWBR predicts a loss of $2.8 trillion and a major blow for 23 million job-seekers, roughly 16 percent of the U.S. labor force. They discovered if society could access all the untapped potential these female-led companies possess, those businesses would have the possibility to generate $10 trillion in revenue (roughly three to four times greater than current numbers).”

Net net: When women succeed and lead, it creates a better world. (TWEET THIS!)

So when I received this fabulous email from Holly Ruxin, the founder of Montcalm TCR, I had to share it with you. Montcalm TCR is a San Francisco-based wealth management firm that supports smart, performing investments that also place an emphasis on innovative products, services and environmental and social practices. Holly has an extensive background in finance, having begun her investment career at Goldman Sachs. She later managed assets and led private client teams at Morgan Stanley, Montgomery Securities, and Bank of America.

We met because Holly and I are both Activators in SheEO, an innovative funding and support model for women-led ventures that create a better world.

Holly’s email re-ignited my optimism about women entrepreneurship and its global impact so she allowed me to share an excerpt with you:

I had the honor of participating in some amazing events last week in New York City in celebration of International Women’s Day and The Decade of Women launch.

40 Plus Years; Time is Now
Last week, executives and world delegates held an inaugural gathering at the United Nations to elevate International Women’s Day into the official launch of the Decade of Women. Hard to believe the United Nations began its Decade of Women program in 1976 to promote equal rights and opportunities for women around the world. Last week’s resounding message was “time has come to complete this mission”. Celebrated across eight billboards in Times Square, the Decade of Women is now live at www.decadeofwomen.org. It is bringing forth the #WeUniteWe pledge to complete the global equity revolution, an action-focused campaign specifically aligned with the United Nations’ Sustainable Development Goal #5 (Gender Equity) by 2030.

Abundance for All
Montcalm wholeheartedly supports Goal #5, along with all 17 United Nations’ Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs), by focusing on quality investments that also address human dignity, education and advancement, social justice, circular economies, and planet preservation. SDGs main purpose is to create abundance for all; Montcalm is proud to be part of this collaborative effort.

Synergy
When solving humanity’s problems becomes a necessity for everyone rather than a few, anything is possible. This was the bold energy and intention in everyone I met last week and everything we talked about over several days in various venues with a myriad of people across all aspects of financial investing, capital markets, not-for-profits, and social enterprises. Tenets of interdependence, long-term thinking, and profound collaboration are needed. When we base our thinking on these principals, we can create an infrastructure for more equality and higher standards of living for everyone.

“Invest in a Woman, You Invest in a Nation”
We are at a critical moment in history where we can continue down a familiar path OR create a better future for humanity. Our economic system needs improvement. It’s a two-dimensional model in which many pursue their own best interests whether intentional or unintentional, while leaving groups of people, women included, behind. We can embrace a system engineered to bring equality and sovereignty to all. Last week I saw private corporations, NGOs, the United Nations, financial service companies, and the investment community coming together to solve for this equation through collaboration. I am now more than ever convinced that we can effect great change!

Holly is right. We CAN affect great change.

As you know, my clients are passionate change-makers of both genders, but I’ve worked with an overwhelming majority of female entrepreneurs. It’s been my honor to support them and help their businesses thrive by providing clarity, focus and killer messaging that connects with just the right ideal customers. And my vendors and referral partners tend to be mostly women. Why? These are the people with whom I’ve networked. If you want to work with more women, you need to put yourself in places to meet more of the talented experts out there. Attend the right networking events. Participate in the right online forums and masterminds. Expand your circle.

Maybe serving a majority of women and referring business to even more of them is my little part to play in this movement.

You can be part of this renaissance, too. What are you doing with your business to support women entrepreneurs and change-makers?

Create Magical Moments for Your Customers, Team and Fans

Watching your child watch his first movie is a magical moment. At least for me, lover of all things story and film.  

When we finally sat down with my young son to watch his first full-length movie at home, he was about two-and-a-half, I believe-old enough to (we thought) sit through more than a half hour show. Mind you, we limit how much TV he watches, so this was a real treat. 

My husband and I made it a “movie night.” We told him about in advance so he could anticipate it, and we ate special treats as we snuggled up on the couch together. We watched Happy Feet. The details are hazy but I remember just watching him, wide-eyed and enchanted, and probably teared up a little as I caressed his soft cheek. 

He didn’t make it through to the end that first time. You know toddler attention spans. But the moment was powerful: A memory I’ll never forget. 

It wasn’t about the movie. It was about the experience. 

You can take this same approach in your business: Don’t just focus on the product or service itself, focus on the experience. 

Don't just focus on product: Create a memorable customer experience! A review of #powerofmoments by @redslice Click To Tweet

In fact, customer experience is one of the top three disruptive marketing trends this year, according to Forbes.  

If you haven’t already, do yourself a big favor and pick up a copy of Chip and Dan Heath’s latest book, The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact. It’s as delightful as their past books I’ve recommended to you, and it beautifully bridges both business and life. 

The premise is that we remember and treasure special moments. But we don’t have to wait for them to serendipitously arrive: We can create them, and the book explored how. In their extensive research, they found that defining moments can be broken down into four categories: 

  • Moments of elevation: Something out of the ordinary, where you build peaks and break the script. Like my son’s movie night or a company flying their entire team to an all day offsite or offering an extraordinary, unexpected surprise to customers, like the Magic Castle Hotel in Orlando, Florida, which offers a “popsicle hotline” to guests, to get a popsicle delivered anywhere in the hotel, on demand, and served on a silver tray. 
  • Moments of insight: A moment that changes our understanding or teaches us something that may last a lifetime. These can be moments like when you met your spouse for the first time, or when a teacher finds a unique way to help a student see their future potential. Or when you enable your customers to discover and learn something that will change their business forever. 
  • Moments of pride: These are moments that we are at our best and celebrate our achievement, or courage. You can carefully construct these through what the Heath Brothers call “milestones of pride: stopping to acknowledge key points along the way to a big product launch or allowing customers to see their progress as they go and help them celebrate it, as in the case of the popular “Couch to 5K” program. 
  • Moments of connection: Defining moments are strengthened because we share them with others. These can be anything from an epic rock concert to a powerful company event. They can also be moments where you bring your customers together to share a memorable experience where bonds can form, whether in a mastermind group, an ice cream social, or an engaging, conference experience. 

What can you do in your business–and your life–to create defining moments for your clients and customers? How can you think about shaking things up, allowing them to reach their own insights, helping them celebrate success or form connections with each other? The ideas are limitless with a little imagination and empathy. 

I challenge you to find a way to create defining moments that will seal precious memories into the hearts of the people you care about most. These could be customers, but also your own friends and family. And it should be noted: The Heath Brothers claim that some of the most impactful moments are those that can combine all four characteristics in one go. 

Seriously, please read the book, it’s that amazing! It’s entertaining, enlightening and inspirational. You will find opportunities to apply this not just to your business, but to also enrich your personal life! And here are lots of free resources and summaries you may enjoy from the book. 

Want to Succeed? Focus.

Focus

Be careful about giving advice. It can come back to haunt you.

My almost 4-year-old burned me pretty badly the other day.

The modern world does not do us any favors when it comes to presence and focus. I work very intentionally with my son to help him avoid overwhelm and concentrate on one task at a time. When he starts flipping through another book while I’m reading one to him, I gently take it from his hands. When he jumps from one game to another, I stop him and we make a game out of putting the first one away. When I’m speaking to him, I encourage him to look me in the eye and put down whatever he’s working on to ensure he’s listening.

“We have to focus on one thing at a time,” is my mantra for him.

The other day, we missed the freeway exit for his swim class. When he asked why we were going on little detour, I said, “Mommy missed our exit, honey. I wasn’t focusing, was I?” He nodded.

A few days later, I was driving him to preschool,  my mind abuzz with the day’s to-do list. Sure enough, we drove straight through the light instead of turning right and had to double-back.

“Why are we turning around?” he asked.

“Because I got distracted and didn’t turn when I was supposed to.”

He gave me a stern look, “You weren’t focusing, Mommy.”

Out of the mouths of babes.

Multitasking is a myth. Science proves that we don’t really do tasks simultaneously: We’re just switching focus.  And it takes longer to complete tasks that way because of stopping and starting. Efficiency goes out the window.

And yet, God love us, we still try.

When it comes to promoting your work, you may be tempted to try a million different tactics to see what sticks. After all, there’s a lot out there, right? We live in an age of marketing overwhelm.

You’re right to test and tweak. But not all at the same time! The truth is that you’ll just do a lot of things really badly – and not see results.

Quality over quantity wins. Every. Single. Time.

It’s better to focus on doing a few things really well, mastering them, if you want to see results for your revenue, visibility and impact. 

Focus on mastering a FEW things really well, not trying to do it all, if you want revenue, clients + visibility! Click To Tweet

To help you tackle your focus challenges and breathe easier while getting more results, please download a FREE taste from my upcoming MOMENTUM Pro self-study program by clicking the button below. This Playbook is titled Simplify Your Marketing Plan and it’s all about how to streamline and focus for results. I promise: You don’t have to do it all!

Get your Playbook Now

If you like this playbook and want a more streamlined, non-overwhelming, completely do-able way to master your marketing, check out MOMENTUM Pro! It’s all about focus, providing a step-by-step system to take one action at a time and gain clients, visibility and revenue.

Photo by Samuel Zeller on Unsplash

How to Bounce Back from Failure, Rejection and Soul-Crushing Criticism: A Chat with Alexandra Franzen

Ever experience soul-crushing, heart-breaking, confidence-shattering criticism, failure or rejection?

If you’re human, of course you have. If you say you never have, you’re a Cyborg and I’m terrified of you.

Life as an entrepreneur – no, as a human being – is full of ups and downs. So much of what we see out there in books and on the Internet is about extreme success: the overnight sensation, the instant millionaire or the glamorous thought leader.

But rarely do folks we look up to open up about their biggest failures or rejections – and more importantly, how they survived and came out the other side stronger, smarter and braver.

Many of you may already know my dear friend, writing teacher and author Alexandra Franzen. Her latest book is called You’re Going to Survive. The subtitle is killer: True stories about adversity, rejection, defeat, terrible bosses, online trolls, 1-star Yelp reviews, and other soul-crushing experiences—and how to get through it.

Feeling discouraged about your career? Maybe you’re dealing with… A frustrating client. A product launch that didn’t work out so great. A painful 1-star review. Maybe online trolls are mocking your latest project. Or maybe you applied for your dream job and you didn’t get chosen. Again.

For tough moments when you could really use a friend, this book is a MUST for your bookshelf.  Inside, you’ll find encouragement, humor, and inspiring true stories about turning defeat into big opportunities.

When Alex asked me if she could include one of my own stories, I was honored to share my lessons learned with others about how I bounced back from some hurtful (and kind of odd)  negative online reviews to my personal memoir, Rebooting My Brain.

It’s a delight to share with you this exclusive video conversation with Alex about all things creative living, rejection, pride, failure and strength. Settle in and enjoy this intimate and inspirational conversation.

YouTube video

There is so much juicy advice in this video, but you’ll especially enjoy these highlights:

On keeping creativity alive in your work:
“I need to not feel like I’m doing 100% client work; I need to have space for my own art projects” – [10:05]

On why she wrote this book:
“My hope is that when someone’s having a hard day, they can pick it [the book] up and have some hope” – [13:22]

On what makes you successful:
“The people who are able to succeed in their industry, they are the persistent people…they go back in, over and over” – [23:06]

One her own setbacks and rejections:
“I had gotten about 20 rejections in total for this book alone” – [27:14]

“I’ve had my work plagiarized, 1-star Amazon reviews and my website completely stolen and someone pretending to be me.” – [11:39]

On what “persistence” really means:
“Persistence is not doing the same thing over and over, banging your head on a locked door and getting nowhere. It’s keeping the train moving forward, but finding creative ways to keep things moving along and keeping your vision.” – [29:18] 

“Discipline and devotion is required, like a musician practicing in the janitors closet or garage in the middle of a winter snow storm” – [33:30]

On how to recover from rejection, criticism or failure:
“We are often faced with a choice after rejection; Do we give up or go back in just one more time. Ellen’s story of rejection ended up being more uplifting” – [16:47]

“Don’t isolate yourself. Set a timer for your meltdown, and then reach out.” – [39:14]

On how to get more work – and how to keep it fresh:
“The more specific I am about what I’m doing, the more likely people will hire me” [4:39]

“In order to describe your work, look outside of your industry for inspiration” -[7:54]

On how to turn rejection into success:

“I opened it [the book] up to my community after being rejected 20+ times, openly and vulnerably, and that was the door that opened for the book” – 28.08

Putting yourself and your work, voice or art out into the world is scary. You may fall, You may be criticized by a few. But you also may bring extreme joy, support, inspiration, hope and delight to many, many others. Never be afraid to share your work and your story. It’s worth it. And I promise: You’re going to survive. (TWEET THIS!)

P.S. Alex created a FREE “bonus extras” Audiobook of certain excerpts and advice told by those featured in the book (including my lovely message for you!) that is fabulous. Get your free “extra” audiobook here.

About the book:

Alexandra Franzen’s newest book is called You’re Going to Survive. It’s a book about how to deal with discouraging situations in your career, and how to build more resilience and keep marching towards your goals. The book has been called “uplifting and encouraging” and “your new best friend on a bad day.” Find the book on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, and IndieBound.

You’re Going to SurviveKindle
You’re Going to SurvivePaperback
You’re Going to SurviveSpotify Music Playlist

About Alexandra Franzen

Alexandra Franzen is a writer, consultant, and entrepreneur based in Portland, Oregon. Her writing has been featured on websites like Time, Forbes, and Newsweek, and she’s been mentioned in places like The New York Times Small Business Blog, The Atlantic, and Inc.
Alexandra conducts writing classes and retreats, and works 1-on-1 with clients to help them complete all kinds of exciting projects—from books to podcasts to TEDx talks, and beyond. You can find all of Alexandra’s current projects at: AlexandraFranzen.com.