When you think of workplace wellness, you may picture gym memberships and yoga mats. But joy, empathy, and inclusion also create a healthy and high-performing workplace culture! We need to reimagine what wellness means!
Today, Misha Safran, shares how empathy intersects with inclusion to foster innovation and equity. We also discuss how to reframe the misconceptions about empathy that exist in high-pressure workplaces. With brilliant mindset shifts and practical tips, she shares how leaders can model empathy without feeling performative, and how to navigate conflict using empathy and emotional intelligence. Misha shares the four elements of joy and why you can be more successful when you embrace them so your team can break free from chaos and transform that energy into creativity, problem-solving, and success.
To access the episode transcript, please scroll down below.
Key Takeaways:
- Empathy is love, care, and concern – not agreement. It’s having conversations, it’s listening to know what’s going on, and it’s having healthy boundaries.
- Empathy before accusation.
- Empathy might look different depending on personality – it doesn’t have to mean being touchy-feely or crying on the floor with your employees.
- Especially in conflict, urgency causes chaos – slow down, take a pause, take a breath, and respond, don’t react. Slow down to build up.
“Ask questions for the person in front of you to grow, not for you to know.” — Misha Safran
From Our Partner:
SparkEffect partners with organizations to unlock the full potential of their greatest asset: their people. Through their tailored assessments and expert coaching at every level, SparkEffect helps organizations manage change, sustain growth, and chart a path to a brighter future.
Go to sparkeffect.com/edge now and download your complimentary Professional and Organizational Alignment Review today.
About Misha Safran, Founder, Center for Empathy and Emotional Intelligence
Misha Safran, an engaging keynote speaker and author, holds a Professional Coaching Certification (PCC) from the International Coaching Federation (ICF). She is the founder of CEEQ, the Center for Empathy and Emotional Intelligence, LLC, and in 2022 was honored with the CEO Award from the National Institute of Health (NIH) for her impactful work on a DEIA training team.
With infectious positivity, intuitive insights, and deep empathy, Misha creates safe spaces for individuals and teams to navigate discomfort while building essential skills. Her unique ability to support organizations in transforming conflict into connection, collaboration, and currency inspires communities to thrive, celebrate achievements, and foster renewed enthusiasm for collective work.
Misha’s passion lies in empowering people to reset their mindset, unlocking renewed energy, improved problem-solving, heightened creativity, and more thoughtful communication. She has dedicated her career to cultivating inclusive, sustainable relationships and fostering environments where everyone can succeed.
Connect with Misha:
CEEQ: ceeq.org
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/misha-safran
Facebook: facebook.com/CEEQempathy
Instagram: instagram.com/mishasafran
Workplace Wellness Program: Laughter to Joy Wellness Experience for Connection, Collaboration, and Sustainable Success – Schedule a consultation: misha@ceeq.org
Connect with Maria:
Get Maria’s books on empathy: Red-Slice.com/books
Learn more about Maria’s work: Red-Slice.com
Hire Maria to speak: Red-Slice.com/Speaker-Maria-Ross
Take the LinkedIn Learning Course! Leading with Empathy
LinkedIn: Maria Ross
Instagram: @redslicemaria
Facebook: Red Slice
Threads: @redslicemaria
FULL TRANSCRIPT:
Maria, welcome to the empathy edge podcast, the show that proves why cash flow, creativity and compassion are not mutually exclusive. I’m your host, Maria Ross, I’m a speaker, author, mom, facilitator and empathy advocate. And here you’ll meet trailblazing leaders and executives, authors and experts who embrace empathy to achieve radical success. We discuss all facets of empathy, from trends and research to the future of work to how to heal societal divisions and collaborate more effectively. Our goal is to redefine success and prove that empathy isn’t just good for society. It’s great for business. When you think of workplace wellness, you may picture gym memberships and yoga mats, but joy, empathy and inclusion also create a healthy and high performing workplace culture. We need to reimagine what wellness means. My guest today, Misha Safran shares how empathy intersects with inclusion to foster innovation and equity. We also discuss how to reframe the misconceptions about empathy that exist in high pressure workplaces with brilliant mindset shifts and practical tips. She shares how leaders can model empathy without feeling performative or forced, and how to navigate conflict using empathy and emotional intelligence. Misha shares the four elements of joy and why you can be more successful when you embrace them, so your team can break free from the urgency that causes chaos and instead transform that energy into creativity, problem solving and success. Misha is an engaging keynote speaker and the founder of CEE Q, the Center for empathy and emotional intelligence. In 2022 she was honored with the CEO award from the National Institute of Health for her impactful work on a Deia training team with infectious positivity, intuitive insights and deep empathy. Misha creates safe spaces for individuals and teams to navigate discomfort while building essential skills. She’s also a musician and is fiercely committed to inclusion and showing how it enhances your team and business. Grab a beverage and listen up. You may even want to take notes, because Misha shares so many mindset shifting gems that will make you a better leader and a human being. Take a listen. Big. Welcome Misha Safran to the empathy edge podcast. This has been a while in the making, and I’m so glad we were able to connect and have your wonderful, beautiful soul on the podcast today. Thank
Misha Safran 02:47
you. I am delighted, and I’m sometimes it may have to marinate things for them to be really, really good. So here we are, finally together,
Maria Ross 02:55
exactly. And I should tell folks, you know, we know each other through a wonderful group of empathy practitioners, I guess you can call us empathy activists, empathy advocates, called the empathy Super Friends, and we’re a variety a collection of people that speak and teach and write about empathy from various perspectives. So we heard a little bit about you in the intro and the bio, but tell us about your particular work and how you got into this work. What’s your story?
Misha Safran 03:27
Thank you for asking. It is interesting to be able to share how I got into this, because I want to make it very clear to people that I’m not a victim, I’m a volunteer in my life, and I’m very resilient, and it’s a lot of forced resilience, but empathy came to me because I have had experiences where there was no empathy in the medical system. I had to advocate for myself over and over and over again that while you are the physician and you have a degree, I am Misha, and I know my body when I got pulled over by a law enforcement officer because of a sign that was only there one week that wanted to force a ticket down my throat. There was no empathy that, you know, I’ve been driving this road for 25 years, when I was in the car accident and the doctors were saying, you should be better. I know like but I’m not. So I found that, and also, as an educator, really wanting to support my families and trying not to give referrals to my students to only to find out that when I did, a student got expelled because it was his last chance. So I I’ve come through empathy in a lot of different ways and reasons, but mostly because I do believe
Maria Ross 04:37
we need more of it in the world. I love that, and I do want to quickly mention to people that not only are you a speaker and a coach and you know, a thought leader, but you’re also a singer and songwriter, and I know that you help express empathy and foster empathy and inclusion through your songwriting. So just like a little bit of a tangent, how does that make? Carry with your work on teaching and training, on empathy. Yeah, thank you.
Misha Safran 05:04
So actually, I got really excited. I got goosebumps when you started talking about that, because I we were going to talk about that. I have a release party coming for a professional my very first professionally produced song. It’s called, Are you willing? And what I’ve done, actually, in the last month or two, I’ve actually been doing presentations with my music, I’ve been giving my talks, and I’ve been incorporating my music. Most of my music is written to soothe my own soul, and what I’ve noticed is that it’s actually supported a lot of other people going through whatever they are. So I’ve written songs around depression, around people I know with addiction, I’ve written songs around social justice, and it’s a beautiful combination. It’s a wonderful marriage of who I am as a person and my own healing and what I get to give to others and supporting them on their
Maria Ross 05:49
journey. I love that. How did the center come to be the center for empathy and emotional intelligence? Is that just something that you created as a container for the work that you’re doing.
Misha Safran 06:00
No, well, let’s see, let me okay, I’ll give a very quick little story about it. So I was working for a company as an independent contractor, and I wasn’t super happy, and I was talking with my teammates, my colleagues, and I said, I don’t think I’m going to stay. I don’t know what to do. And one of my friends said, well, Misha, you are like your superpower is empathy and emotional intelligence. When you come into a room, that’s what shines. So I went home and I played with the wording and the language, and there it was. It’s a different emotional intelligence. And my dad had the Center for parent involvement, so there’s this feeling of it’s a center right, yeah, center around me. And not that I’m the center, but it’s the center right. The other component of that is that I really do want it to be bigger than me. And so I figured, you know, when you build it, they will come Yeah, or build it, they’ll have a place
Maria Ross 06:51
to go. Yes, my
Misha Safran 06:53
hope is that I will continue to create, navigate, meet, cultivate people who want to expand, yes, for greater access, because empathy is not we’ve had this conversation in the empathy activist. Some people think empathy is innate. Some people don’t, you know, and I personally feel like not everybody has the capacity right away to exercise empathy. I do believe, for some people, especially in neurodivergent communities, sometimes that empathy needs to be trained, needs to be really taught. And I know that because I have friends who are married to people who are not empathetic, and they’re working through that. So for me, the center is an opportunity at some point to really have workshops and trainings and coaches and counselors, and who knows what the dream can open up, right? And
Maria Ross 07:43
you already, you know you work with some very specific industries. Can you talk to us about that and why those industries?
Misha Safran 07:50
Yeah, absolutely. And referencing kind of back to what I was sharing the beginning. My three industries are education, medical organizations and law and that could be law students, medical students, and, you know, university human resources in those areas, mostly because I’ve had a lot of experience in all three of those areas, either as a consumer, a client or an educator myself. So I find that those are the three areas where they impact the consumer so intensely and widely that there needs to be some training and some support, and they need empathy. I mean, law enforcement officers, they see horrible things. When you think about, you know, nurses and doctors, they see horrible things. Educators. We’ve had classrooms of kids whose parents are half the parent is in one parent’s in jail, and some parents, you know, they don’t have jobs, they’re not eating breakfast in the mornings. So they’re the people that we those industries serve. Need to have more love. I was working with a company back in April, that was a while ago, but that specific community was talking about how their clients are difficult, and I asked them, what would it look like to actually, maybe you do a little frame switch and say, My clients are struggling, and the room was silent because people couldn’t fathom that. Oh, wow, yeah. Well, we’re struggling. So of course, they’re struggling because a lot of people, and we also had this conversation Maria, we with Rob and other people. Rob and other people in our group. You know, empathy doesn’t necessarily mean agreement. No, it doesn’t mean that I’m going to give in empathy. You’re hearing somebody’s truth, because their truth deserves to exist. So somebody’s hurting. Okay, they might come out and act sideways because they’re hurting, but if we look at difficult rather than looking at them as hurting or struggling, we’re going to cut off the opportunity for empathy or even conversation.
Maria Ross 09:47
And I think that’s, you know, that’s such a great point, Misha, because it’s so true in any circumstance where you’ve got people acting in destructive or, you know, cruel ways, it’s off. And you know, it’s that old adage of hurt people. And you really can feel the shift when you look at them with grace and mercy versus antagonism. There really is a shift in even your own, like heart rate and blood pressure, when you start to think, I try to practice this on the road when I’m driving, and really try to flip the like I don’t. I can’t assume everybody has destructive intent. And so when you look at things like that, or you look at you, we talk a lot about a society. We talk about you never know what people are going through, but it’s really hard to remember that when their behavior is impacting you, especially if you know number one, it’s making your work or your goal difficult, or, number two, you’re an empath, and you’re taking in that kind of negativity and that behavior. It can be really hard to find a center and find the grounding. So I think it’s wonderful that you’re really focusing on specific industries where there’s challenges, and I love how you described it, where these are industries where their end customer, whether it’s a patient or a student or a client, is really going through something, or could be really going through something. And so that’s when it gets harder than versus, like, working in an accounting office where we just got, you know, we’ve got difficult, struggling people in the accounting office. You’re dealing with a population that these folks in these industries are serving that could really be draining if they’re not careful. Yeah. Oh, I love it. Okay, so you also talk a lot and teach a lot about the intersection of empathy and inclusion. So can you talk to us about that intersection, and especially where it comes into play fostering equitable work environments and diverse work environments. We’ve talked a lot on this show about the benefits of empathy, fueling diversity and inclusion efforts, but tell us, from your perspective, how do you see that intersecting, and where is the missed opportunity for a lot of organizations? Yeah, thank you.
Misha Safran 12:02
So it’s funny, I’m still kind of thinking about something that we were talking about before, so I want, I’m going to wrap a bow on that one by saying just real quickly, yeah, please that when I first started really focusing on empathy, I actually had somebody in my life say, Oh yeah, you’re so empathetic towards them, right? And I had to remind them and myself that, and I said this a little bit earlier, and this leads into the question you just asked me, Is that my empathy is love, care and concern, but not necessarily agreement? So in the workplace, when we’re talking about inclusion, we’re not necessarily saying that having empathy for the people in our space is that I’m going to give you everything you ask for 100% I’m going to excuse you because you’re late 15 times. It’s about finding out what is their truth, what’s happening for them and what is within our abilities that to do to support them so they can be successful. I am very fortunate to be working part time for a coaching institute, and the owner is incredibly empathetic. There are people that have missed shifts, that have been late, that have forgotten this or that, and she’s not fired a single one of them, and they are all thriving because she works with each and every person to find out, what do you need to be successful? There’s no anger. There’s no so it kind of goes along with my acronym that I created, which is cape. I tell it businesses to put on their super cape. And cape is compassionate communication, assuming positive intent, the principles of inclusion and belonging and then empathy before accusation. And she is a model of this. I mean, I’m shout out to her. Lisa Fink, she’s amazing. She really honors each and every employee at her company, and make sure she has those conversations. So when we talk about inclusivity in the workplace, we talk about the intersection of inclusivity and empathy. It’s having the conversation. It’s being willing to take the time to find out what’s going on and having really healthy boundaries. Yes, because it’s not that I’m asking what’s going on, because I’m going to fix you, because you’re not broken, right? And you’re resilient, and you can take care of what you need to take care of, but sometimes we need an extra ear to hear it out loud. And amazingly enough, even with my coaching clients, they figure it out. They have all their answers. Yeah, so inclusivity and empathy intersect at that conversation. As far as I’m concerned,
Maria Ross 14:40
I love that. I mean, that’s with my new book, The Empathy dilemma, talking about those pillars of being both effective and empathetic as a leader means we don’t have to choose, and that’s those are the myths I talk about in that book, and the myths I talk about in my workshops, that we’re not embracing empathy at work because we think it’s something else. We think it’s allowing people to walk all over us, or, like you said, agreeing with people or just being nice, like being nice is wonderful, but it doesn’t mean you see my point of view. So I love that idea of looking at it. I like to make empathy accessible for leaders that are a little skeptical by saying, think of it as information gathering. Be a little bit of a detective and find out what’s going on for somebody. I love how you framed it. Of it’s just a conversation. It’s being willing and open to having the conversation. And I need to shout this out, because this is a quotable for folks empathy before accusation. Love that so much. Thank you. Well, you know I
Misha Safran 15:36
that I have to say real quickly that came from and I apologize to the audience who might be listening to this. I don’t remember the young man’s name. I feel like the last name. Yeah. Anyways, it was that actually came. It from the depths of my body. That phrase when I listened to the news review of the young man, the young black man, who was on a white man’s porch looking for his siblings, and the white man shot him without even knowing that this kid was lost. So I immediately like through my body that empathy before accusation, empathy before assumption. Yeah, listen, I’ve got so much pain in my body just recalling that event. So I’m sorry for the trigger warning for anybody might be listening. It’s really in in coaching, we teach our students as they’re becoming coaches, curiosity cures the coach, right? So the conversation and what you just shared as well is like it doesn’t have to be anything more than inquiry, building information, getting more knowledge. I
Maria Ross 16:33
love that so much. And we make a lot of assumptions in the groups we swim in, whether it’s an organizational group or our family or our friends or our neighbors or our, you know, civic group that we’re in, we spend a lot of time making accusations because and making assumptions because it’s easier for our brains to slot people into groups when we make those assumptions, right, and we have to fight against that absolutely.
Misha Safran 16:59
And those assumptions drain our energy. Empathy is so kind and generous and loving, why wouldn’t you want to have more
Maria Ross 17:05
empathy? Right? And it doesn’t, and I love that too, because it doesn’t have to be the touchy feely i You’ve heard me say this many times that I always say you don’t have to be crying on the floor with your employees to show empathy. So if you’re not necessarily a touchy feely, huggy, you know person, it doesn’t mean you can’t be empathetic. It’s just going to look different. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so given that I want to talk about, the common thing I hear when people are being quote, unquote, trained on empathy or learning empathy, is, how can leaders model empathy authentically without feeling performative or forced. And I have, like, a unique perspective on this, but I want to hear how you help people through that, through getting over that fear of, oh, this is going to feel really forced and
Misha Safran 17:52
performative. I don’t know that many people are going to like my answer, but it’s called practice. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, and honestly, I will encourage a lot of my clients to work with friends and family members first, to take a few moments at home to ask somebody how your day was and mean it, and listen to the answer, yeah, right, mean it, and then be willing. And what I mean by mean it right, just like what you said is to listen to it, right, listen to it and then be curious about it. And so it really is almost like coaching, where we ask open ended questions, you know, how was your day? Okay, maybe I tell you, well, it was, it was a little hard. And I could say something sincere, like, you know, you seem like you’re tired, and I can hear that it was a hard day. But then you could also ask What was hard about it. And instead of saying, Oh, that’s it, that’s not empathy, by the way,
18:46
just in case, right? But
Misha Safran 18:50
it’s like, what was hard about it? Oh, I that would make sense that that might be hard. Now, if it doesn’t make sense to you, then you don’t say it. So it’s really about being truthful. But back to that, that baseline of curiosity about it, is there anything else you want to you know, anything more you want to share about that? But it takes practice for some people, natural empaths, some people are naturally curious, and some people really struggle or have social awkwardness and feel like their next question might be dumb or not welcome, right? And the fact of the matter is, is that when I’ve had more people in my training say to me that they enjoy being with people when they share vulnerably, but again, like it literally doesn’t mean you have to start crying, right? It’s being able to say, you know, I’m feeling a little nervous right now. Yeah, tell me about that. Yeah. So practice is my first big response. Second is really just maybe learning some open ended questions that could support you in getting more information. In the coaching world, I always tell my clients who are getting their credentials, ask questions for the person in front of you to grow, not for you to know. Ooh, it’s a different level. Love, curiosity. What could I ask that supports you in growing this is really effective in the workplace, because you maybe are somebody who is a direct manager, and you are really good at micromanaging, and you never delegate anything, because you have to have it just right, and you’re controlling the situation. But actually building trust and empathy with your clients is your coworkers and your direct reports, is to really ask them, What do you think should be done in this situation? How would you go about doing that? What would potentially be an obstacle for you, right? And so if you’re asking questions for your person to grow and not for you to know, then you’re giving them space and room, right? That phone, oddly enough, is empathy, yeah, and
Maria Ross 20:46
you’re giving them an opportunity to have their own epiphany. You know, how often have you or I been in a conversation with someone when they ask me a question? It’s like, oh, that’s a really good question. Let me think about that for a second. That’s where the learning is. That’s where people can get in deeper touch with what they’re thinking. And I love your answer, because that’s the answer I give about you have to practice it, and it might feel icky at first, it might feel uncomfortable, but it doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. Yeah, it’s memory. One thing I will say that’s kind of funny is, you know, I do tell leaders now, look, if you’ve never been interested in your people before, and just one day you start going, you know, Misha, tell me about your weekend. Tell me about people might be on the defensive. You need to be prepared for that, that they’re going to wonder what’s going on. Yeah, right. But you can also be transparent with your team, and this is where you can be vulnerable. Is, hey, starting today, starting this year, maybe my, you know, my goal this year was to improve my leadership style. You don’t necessarily have to tell someone you’re working on your empathy. You can just say, tell your team, hey, I’m working on my leadership style and working on being a better communicator, if that feels comfortable for you. And so, you know, I’m going to be trying some different things. I just want you to be prepared that I might ask different questions or engage with you in a different way. Nothing to be alarmed about. Yeah, I was going to say, and that also models for them that self improvement is a constant goal.
Misha Safran 22:16
So what that leads me to want to call out is having empathy for yourself, yes, right? So as a leader, if you mess up one day while you’re on this new trajectory of adding empathy into your leadership, uh huh. Hey, to say, You know what, Maria, I did that wrong. I really feel like I might have stepped on a toe or said something that didn’t work. Can I try that again? You know, and really having grace and for yourself and empathy for yourself so that you can keep trying and not give up, because it’s not going to be it’s in order for it really to work, you have to be willing to have it messy at first. Yeah, yeah, like you did the ick. I mean it. You’ve gotta be willing to be messy and but vulnerably, transparently messy. Yes, people know what to expect, and that this is, oh, yeah, okay, sure, let’s try again, and being willing, then to give empathy and grace to others, yeah, so that each person knows that they can make a mistake and survive it, yeah, that they can, you know, have a faux pas and have a conversation about it, so that it can change for The future, but that they not all of a sudden a bad human being, even a bad apple has a lot of good parts still to it. Why do people throw out a whole apple and it’s just a tiny part that’s bad?
Maria Ross 23:36
I love that, and I also just want to Yes and that, because there’s also the perception that if I admit I made a mistake, or I admit I did something wrong, that’s going to weaken me, but you can do it in a way that you have confidence and you own your mistake. So look at the difference between, you know, someone sort of begging for forgiveness, versus wow, I didn’t do that very well. I’m really sorry about that. Misha, let me try this again. That’s a much more confident way to admit your vulnerability. And like you said, I love what you said, because it’s about giving other people permission to do that too, and you won’t lose respect. You won’t be weakened by doing it that way, if anything, you’re going to level up people respecting you by being truthful and owning and being self aware enough that you saw that you made a mistake, versus ignorant about the impact of your behavior. So hiding it under the rug, or hiding it under the rug, because everyone
Misha Safran 24:37
really doesn’t hide very well, no, really gross and big, and he used to trip over it and
Maria Ross 24:43
and it’s a bad look like you know you as a leader, might say, I’m not going to admit that I screwed that up. Everyone knows you did, so just own it. Be like that was not great. That was not my finest hour. Let’s move forward.
Misha Safran 24:55
That’s another element of empathy is really being willing to, like you said, admit those mistakes when. I was working with another company, and we were doing trainings. One of the examples we would bring into the workplace was the Challenger, the person who was working on the, I think they were called the O rings for the shuttle,
Maria Ross 25:13
knew or the space shuttle. Challenger, yeah, yes, knew that something was wrong and tried to tell people, This shouldn’t take off. This shouldn’t take off. This shouldn’t take off. But the President, or whoever it was, at the time, excuse me, said, No, we have to, it’s got to take off. And it exploded. He was being vulnerable. He was sharing, there’s a mistake here. There’s a problem. And so we want to create environments in the workplace where people can say, Stop, there’s this is a problem. Yeah, not wait until something goes wrong to fix it. If somebody is willing to come and say, I’m a little concerned, we need to have the open space and empathy to allow for vulnerable honest Well, I mean, that’s fundamentally the things that have happened at Boeing and how it’s impacting their bottom line, it is impacting that organization to not be willing to take a step back and admit mistakes and do things over and do them the right way. So we’re seeing it play out in real time of the very, very real consequences, not only on your people, but on your industry and on your sustainability as a business, we’re seeing that play out in real time. So appreciate that. Okay, so last question for you is, what are some practical strategies for navigating conflict using empathy and emotional intelligence? Can you give us some examples, or some role plays, or anything like that that can really help people understand the role that empathy can play in conflict, defusement at work or in any organization.
Misha Safran 26:46
And I will tell you right now, type a people who are extremely productive, based, task oriented, they’re not going to like my answer, because it’s all about slowing down, because urgency causes chaos. That is just absolutely bottom line, that’s my phrase. I’m taking it. I’m going all the way with it. Urgency caused the chaos. And what a lot of people do not like, especially in business, is that in order to do this, they have to slow down, they have to take a pause. They have to take a breath and highly encourage inhale through the nose to five, exhale to seven, you know, and exhale through your mouth, because you can, you know, make sure that you’re really supporting your parasympathetic
Maria Ross 27:28
so inhale through your nose to count of five, maybe six, but then exhale at least a little bit longer than that, through your mouth, because it activates the parasympathetic system, which helps calm your nerves and that then already is diffusing the urgency once you have done that pause and that breath, you are much more resourced to have a conversation or even tell somebody you’re not ready for a conversation, yeah, so they can respond instead of react. And reactionary behavior is what tips things over the edge and makes it Messier, whereas being able to pause, take time, reflect, listen to a situation, rather than make those assumptions, all of that is going to create a healthier environment where you have people who are happy to be with you, working with you, working for you. And I will say that when I was a high school teacher, I had parents who were very angry one year, because when I got to that school, their students were far behind others, so I took them back two months in curriculum up in arms. What are you doing? They’re never going to be able to be ready for this that or the other. That class period in particular was two months ahead of all the other classes by the end of the year. So slow it down or to build it up. I love that slow down to build up words of wisdom. What a nice gem to leave us with. And I just want to share too. This is why I loved your work. Is because even you know, when I talk about the self care pillar in my five pillars of empathetic and effective empathy, I offer some actionable strategies and tactics for folks to look at self care, not as a luxury, but as a necessity, for you to be able to show up as the leader you want to be, and as the leader that gets results. So you know, it’s not a luxury. We have to have that capacity full, or we can’t take on anyone’s perspective without fear or defensiveness or anger, and you know, we I talked about this on the show before. Folks have heard me say this. You know, it’s one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned as a parent, is I am not a good parent when I don’t take a breath, I am so reactionary and so just not able to listen. And nothing has kind of smacked me in the face about that more than having a child that challenges you every day. He is my biggest, biggest empathy teacher. So there you go. Well,
Misha Safran 29:49
actually, you know, I know it’s so funny how we talk about some things and we don’t talk about other things, and we are truly aligned leader. Care is one of the final. Points of my presentations, and I encourage organizations to do I’m now a certified laughter yoga facilitator. Yes, please
Maria Ross 30:07
tell us about that, because I remember you talking about that the
Misha Safran 30:11
laughter I’ve had people with Parkinson’s. I’ve had people who are elderly and sad and lonely. I’ve had people from all walks of life say this has really changed. In fact, the quote that I want to use right now I just got on Sunday last week, the participant said to me, my myths, m, y, t, h, S, my myths are crumbling. It was powerful. And what I learned from that person was the assumptions and the stories that they’ve been telling themselves. And this goes for all leaders out there, all and every single person in this world is a leader. You just have to decide, you know, are you a visible leader or an internal leader, whatever it is, but having that self care, being willing to take care of yourself, encompassing the four elements of joy, which are dance, play, singing and laughter, that is critical to being able to take care of others, have empathy for yourself and have empathy for others in the way we walk our life together.
Maria Ross 31:05
I love that. And can you briefly describe what the laughter yoga practice is? Because I just think it’s so great. And I’ll put a link to you know, obviously we’re gonna have all your links in the show notes, but tell us quickly what the laughter yoga practice is good. Yes, it
Misha Safran 31:22
feels silly. And a lot of people are like, Oh, I don’t want to be performative or fake it till I make it, but it actually it’s so laughter. Yoga is a unique concept where we participate in deep breathing exercises and laughter exercises, and typically we do it in a group setting where there’s eye contact, because the laughter can become contagious and then authentic. The other part of that is is you, the more you laugh with the deep breath, you bring more oxygen to your brain and your body and the brain or your bodies. Don’t know the difference between simulated laughter and authentic laughter. So it’s a real health benefit. It started back in about 1995 with Dr Kataria in Mumbai, India, in a park with five people. And today there are over 1000s of people with 120 laughter social clubs all over the world. And they have been in nursing homes, in schools, in law firms, in medical offices everywhere that ready needs to lift their spirit, but also have health care for themselves. That may not be that 20 mile marathon, right? And the other thing I want to leave you with is that children, typically, on average, laugh three to 400 times a day, and adults
Maria Ross 32:30
only 15. Oh, that’s so
Misha Safran 32:33
sad, yeah. So think about when you laugh, how it makes you feel, if, when, and the all the other pieces that you’re learning to laugh for no reason at all, no comedy, no jokes, you know, not because of humor, but you’re actually learning just to laugh as a form of
Maria Ross 32:48
exercise. Yeah, I love that well and kind of getting back, putting a bow on that is really that ability to take care of yourself in that way and that unique way helps you show up as the leader you want to be, and I love that you’re doing that for organizations and for teams like we need just like I’ve talked in the past about doing improv exercises as a team to build trust and foster creativity and foster resilience. Similarly, we need to be experimenting with these team building and team bonding exercises that we do. It’s not all just about trust falls, and there’s a way to tap into our ability to get to know each other and understand each other and collaborate with each other. And these kinds of things like laughter yoga, also force us to look at each other, which is what I love about what you just said. So Misha, so many good things. We could talk so much longer, but we have to wrap so I will have all of your information and links in the show notes, as well as links to your workplace wellness program, your laughter to joy wellness experience, and your book and bonus package for schools specifically. So I know there’s a lot of great things. We’ll put all the links to your website and to stay in touch with you. But for folks that are on the go, where’s a good place or two that they can connect with you and learn more about your work,
Misha Safran 34:08
thank you so absolutely. I would love for people to reach out to me on LinkedIn, and that information will also be in the links from Maria and my website is very easy. W, w.ce, eq.org, and that stands for center for empathy and emotional intelligence. Ceq.org
Maria Ross 34:23
love it. Thank you so much for your time today and your insights. What a great conversation. Thank
Misha Safran 34:28
you. And I’m sure you’re a fabulous parent, by the way,
Maria Ross 34:32
thank you. Thank
Misha Safran 34:33
you everyone, and
Maria Ross 34:35
thank you everyone for listening to another episode of the empathy edge podcast. If you like what you heard, you know what to do. Please rate, review and share with a friend or a colleague, and until next time, please remember that cash flow, creativity and compassion are not mutually exclusive. Take care and be kind. For more on how to achieve radical success through empathy. Visit the empathy Ed. Dot com, there you can listen to past episodes, access show notes and free resources. Book me for a Keynote or workshop and sign up for our email list to get new episodes, insights, news and events. Please follow me on Instagram at Red slice Maria, never forget, empathy is your superpower. Use it to make your work and the world a better place. You.