In today’s timely hot take episode in this heavy world, Maria discusses the importance of empathy in leadership during challenging times, emphasizing that emotional connection at work is crucial. She highlights how unaddressed employee emotions lead to disengagement and reduced performance, and offers 3 practical ways for leaders to connect with their employees, regardless of how high their discomfort with emotion.
To access the episode transcript, please scroll down below.
Listen in for…
- Why emotional connection at work isn’t a “nice-to-have”.
- Why avoiding emotion is actually costing you more.
- Three practical ways to connect emotionally with your people, even if you’re deeply uncomfortable.
“Empathy isn’t about fixing emotions; it is about acknowledging reality. People don’t need you to fix everything; they need to know they’re not invisible.” — Maria Ross
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FULL TRANSCRIPT:
Maria Ross 00:00
Welcome to the empathy edge podcast, the show that proves why cash flow, creativity and compassion are not mutually exclusive. I’m your host, Maria Ross, I’m a speaker, author, mom, facilitator and empathy advocate. And here you’ll meet trailblazing leaders and executives, authors and experts who embrace empathy to achieve radical success. We discuss all facets of empathy, from trends and research to the future of work to how to heal societal divisions and collaborate more effectively. Our goal is to redefine success and prove that empathy isn’t just good for society. It’s great for business. Hello friends. Welcome back to the empathy edge. I want to start today a little differently, because let’s be honest, the world feels heavy right now, and I know I’ve talked about that before, but people are carrying grief and fear and rage and exhaustion, uncertainty, sometimes all at once. And even if your employees aren’t saying it out loud, it’s showing up in their energy, their patience, their focus, their capacity. And here’s the tension. I know many of you are sitting with as leaders. I get that the world is on fire, but I still have targets to hit. I still have a business to run. I need to keep my job. I’m not a therapist. You’re right. And also, this is exactly why empathy matters more, not less, right? Now, today, I want to talk about why emotional connection at work isn’t a nice to have in moments like this, I want to share with you why avoiding it is actually costing you more. And then I want to share with you three very practical ways to connect emotionally with your people, even if you’re deeply uncomfortable with what you might call the squishy stuff, there’s not going to be any incense, there’s no group hugs, there’s no feelings free for all, just real leadership for real humans in a really hard moment. Now here’s the truth that we don’t say loud enough, your employees don’t stop being human when they log into Slack. I know you’ve heard me say, they don’t park their humanity at the office door. They don’t magically shed their anxiety about the world, their families, their safety or their future when they show up to your meeting. So when leaders pretend work is work and everything else should stay outside the door, what people actually hear is what you’re carrying doesn’t matter here, and when people feel unseen, they don’t disengage loudly. They disengage quietly. They stop offering ideas, they stop flagging risks early, and they do the bare minimum to protect themselves emotionally. That’s not a motivation issue. That’s a trust issue, and trust is the currency of performance. Which brings us to the uncomfortable part. Many leaders avoid emotional connection because they fear opening a door they don’t know how to close, or saying the wrong thing or losing authority. But here’s the paradox, when leaders avoid empathy, people don’t feel strongly LED. They feel alone. Empathy isn’t about fixing emotions. It’s about acknowledging reality. You don’t have to have all the answers. You need to show awareness. And that brings me to three ways I’d like to offer you to do this without turning your job into group therapy. So number one, I want you to name the moment without drama or denial. And one of the most grounding things a leader can do right now is simply name what’s true. This can sound like I know there’s a lot happening in the world right now, and it’s affecting people differently. I don’t want to pretend that doesn’t exist. That’s it. You’re not taking a political stance, you’re not inviting debate, you’re signaling awareness. And when leaders don’t acknowledge the moment, people fill in the silence with their own story, usually that leadership doesn’t care or isn’t paying attention. Naming reality builds credibility. Silence erodes it. Number two, ask better questions and then actually pause for the answer. Empathy doesn’t require deep, emotional conversations, it requires better questions and actual listening, so instead of everyone good any issues, try what’s been hardest to focus on lately. Where are you feeling stretched thin right now? What would help. Do your best work this month, and then this is the key pause. Don’t rush to solve, don’t defend, don’t explain away what you’re hearing. Listening is not passive. It’s an act of leadership restraint. People don’t need you to fix everything. They need to know they’re not invisible. Finally, number three, adjust your expectations without lowering standards. Key difference this is where empathy and accountability actually meet. Empathy does not mean lowering the bar. It doesn’t mean letting bad performance slide. It doesn’t mean avoiding hard conversations. It means asking, given what people are carrying, are our expectations realistic and are they clearly prioritized? That’s the discussion that needs to happen at the exact level right now, because many teams are overwhelmed, not because they’re incapable, but because everything feels urgent, and they are in trauma mode. They are in fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Empathetic leaders create focus. They clarify what matters most, and they reduce unnecessary friction. That’s not softness, that’s strategic leadership. So let me talk a little bit about the why. What’s at stake if we don’t do this, because if leaders don’t create emotional connection right now, three things will happen. I guarantee it. One, burnout will accelerate. Two, trust will erode quietly. And three, your best people will start looking for the exit, not because they don’t care, but because caring without support is exhausting. Empathy is not about being emotional. It’s about being human, aware other people in the room besides you, and in moments like this, awareness is leadership. If this feels uncomfortable, or if you’re realizing you were never actually taught how to do this as a leader, you’re not broken, you’re not flawed, you’re normal. We don’t teach this to our leaders, and that’s exactly the work that I do with leaders and teams is helping them build emotional intelligence and empathy and understand how to leverage it and wield it in a healthy way that supports performance, clarity and resilience, not chaos, right? Not crying on the floor with your employees. So I want to offer myself as a resource to any of you listening, any of you leaders out there who are like, where do I start with this? Whether it’s through privately coaching with me or doing a workshop or talk with your team, let me help you and your leaders level up their capacity to connect and engage at a human level right now, from wherever they are, whether they lean too much into empathy and need some pullback so they don’t burn out or let performance slide, or whether they’re very pragmatic, analytical leaders who aren’t sure what role emotions play at work. My goal is to bring people to that crucial balance in the center between empathy and accountability, the both and leadership model that you know I love to talk about, and by the way, let me help them enrich their own personal relationships beyond work as well. So I want to leave you with this empathy isn’t about being nice, it’s just about being awake and aware, awake to what your people are carrying, awake to the cost of ignoring it, and awake to the kind of leader that this moment is calling for, because we know Leadership isn’t tested when everything’s going great, when things are easy, right? Anyone can be a leader in that situation, for the most part, true leadership is revealed when things get hard, and this right now is one of those moments take care of you. Take care of your team. Thanks for listening, and as always, please remember that cash flow, creativity and compassion are not mutually exclusive. Stay well, be kind. For more on how to achieve radical success through empathy. Visit the empathy edge calm. There. You can listen to past episodes, access show notes and free resources. Book me for a Keynote or workshop, and sign up for our email list to get new episodes, insights, news and events. Please follow me on Instagram at Red slice Maria, never forget, empathy is your superpower. Use it to make your work and the world a better place.
