While many leaders want to lead with empathy, they often fail to translate that desire into actionable decisions. Today, Maria discusses the distinction between intention and decision and highlights the importance of making–and committing–to those decisions that lead to tangible changes. She also emphasizes the urgency of making the most of the opportunities we have today, not waiting for what might change in the future. Finally, Maria challenges listeners to use their agency to be empathetic leaders and to act now, regardless of external circumstances.
To access the episode transcript, please scroll down below.
Listen in for…
- Why it’s not the thought that counts, but rather the decisions that you make.
- Deciding to make the changes now with what you have, not waiting for better circumstances.
- Maria’s challenge to you as a human-centered leader.
“We get to make better decisions about how we structure work. About how we run companies. About the metrics that matter. About how we lead with ethics, humanity, and mutual concern.” — Maria Ross
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FULL TRANSCRIPT:
Maria Ross 00:04
Welcome to the Empathy Edge podcast, the show that proves why cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive. I’m your host Maria Ross. I’m a speaker, author, mom, facilitator, and empathy advocate, and here you’ll meet trailblazing leaders and executives, authors and experts who embrace empathy to achieve radical success. We discuss all facets of empathy, from trends and research to the future of work to how to heal societal divisions and collaborate more effectively. Our goal is to redefine success and prove that empathy isn’t just good for society. It’s great for business. Hey everyone, welcome back to the Empathy Edge. I’m Maria Ross, and this is one of our hot take solo episodes where I get a little real, a little direct, and hopefully a little inspiring with you. Today I want to talk about something that has been on my mind a lot lately: the difference between intention and decision, between wanting to be a certain kind of leader and actually choosing to be one. Here’s a little confession: I have a habit, and my husband will absolutely back me up on this, of telling him that I thought about buying him something. I will see something, think, “Oh, he would love that, and then life gets busy. I get distracted, and the thought never turns into action. And I always say the same thing when he calls me out on it. It’s the thought that counts, except it doesn’t. Not really. Not when it comes to the things that matter. Because here’s the truth: thinking about doing something kind, thinking about being a better leader, thinking about creating a more human workplace-none of that counts if it never becomes a decision, a real, firm, committed decision that you then take action on. And I see this all the time with leaders. They want to lead with empathy. They want to build psychologically safe teams. They want to leave a legacy they can be proud of. But wanting is not deciding, and deciding without acting is just a slightly more sophisticated form of not doing anything at all. Now, I know some of you are already sitting there with your arms folded, maybe, maybe not. I don’t know who listens to the podcast, right? But I see you. You are the skeptic. You are the person in the back of the room at my talks, and I say this with love, who raises their hand and says, “But what about Elon Musk? Or what about China and how they treat their workers? Those organizations are innovating and finding enormous success. So, what do you say to that? And here’s what I say: Yes, there will always be outliers. There will always be examples of organizations that seem to be winning while treating people as disposable. I can’t show you any more data than what already exists, and there is a lot of data. Study after study we’ve talked about on this show, from Google to Gallup to Deloitte to the World Economic Forum, showing that human-centered leadership leads to exponential results, competitive advantage, higher engagement, more innovation, and sustainable long-term success. So you now know you have the information. The question is no longer whether this approach works. The question is what are you going to do with that knowledge? What kind of leader do you want to be? What kind of human? What kind of legacy do you want to leave? Because that is a decision, and it is yours to make. I want to share something a senior leader told me recently that has stayed with me. She stepped away from a large global firm after decades at the top, and she told me that her clarity moment-the moment she knew something had to change-came when she literally had 30 seconds between meetings and had to decide whether to get a glass of water or go pee, she couldn’t do both. There was no time, and in that moment, she saw the insanity of it all-the machine that we have built that chews people up and spits them out, not because it has to, but because we decided to build it that way, and we can decide to build differently. We get to make better decisions about how we structure work, about how we run companies, about the metrics that matter, about how we lead with ethics, humanity, and mutual concern, but we can’t wait for some external catalyst to decide for us.
Maria Ross 04:47
We can’t wait for the economy to improve, or the political climate to settle, or the headlines to get less horrifying. We as leaders need to decide every single day what kind of organization. We’re building, and what kind of leader we are being. This whole musing brought to mind a quote I heard years ago. It’s from an artist who is no longer with us, a woman named Jane, who goes by the stage name of Nightbird. She performed on America’s Got Talent several years ago with an original song, while she was in the throes of fighting very aggressive cancer, she actually didn’t even make it to the live shows because of her health, and she ended up passing away in her 30s. But one of the things she said on that stage that stuck with me was, “You can’t wait for life to be easy. You can’t wait for life to not be hard anymore before you decide to be happy, and that’s the point I’m trying to make here. We can’t wait for things to get better around us before we make the decision to do something about where we are with what we have. I want to get a little personal with you for a moment, if I can. I recently celebrated the 18th anniversary of the day I almost died from a ruptured brain aneurysm. 18 years, I got 18 years more of life, of work, of love, of laughter, and all of it, I almost didn’t get. I got a son. I got to visit Spain and Puerto Rico and Costa Rica and Tuscany. I got to meet incredible people in work and in life who came into my life after that tragic day. I got to write books, do a TEDx talk, build my business back up, launch a podcast. I got 16 more years of marriage, and when I reflect on that, I’m not just grateful; I’m galvanized, and I want to galvanize you, because here’s what I know: there is no dress rehearsal. We get one life, one shot at this thing, and what matters most is not what happens to us, but what we decide to do with what we’re given. In work and in life. Now, I want to be crystal clear. I know that not everyone listening has the same power or privilege to change their situation. Some people are genuinely stuck where they are, navigating systems and structures that make meaningful change incredibly hard. I see you, and I honor your reality. But plenty of you listening do have power within your sphere of influence. You are the leaders. You are the change makers. You are the shapers. You have more agency than you might be giving yourself credit for, and in a world where the media is full of leaders behaving badly, where cynicism and mistrust is at an all-time high, where it can feel almost naive to choose humanity over hustle, that’s exactly when your decision matters most. So here’s my challenge to you: You are more than your intentions. You are your decisions. Deciding to be an empathetic leader, a legacy leader, a human-centered leader does not happen because you simply wish it so. It happens because you choose it over and over again every day, even when it’s hard, especially when it’s hard. So I want to ask you directly: What will you decide? How will you show up? Who will you choose to be? Not someday. Not when things calm down. Not when the economy turns around or the headlines get better. Now, today, in your next meeting, in your next difficult conversation, in the next decision you make about how to treat the people you lead and the people around you, you have agency. Use it. Thanks for listening to another episode of the Empathy Edge podcast. Until next time, please remember that cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive. Take care and be kind. For more on how to achieve radical success through empathy, visit theempathyedge.com. There you can listen to past episodes, access show notes and free resources, book me for a keynote or workshop, and sign up for our email list to get new episodes, insights, news, and events. Please follow me on Instagram at Red Slice Maria. Never forget, empathy is your superpower. Use it to make your work and the world a better place.
