Halloween is just around the corner, and the ghouls, goblins, and…gladiators will be out in full force, along with spooky music, haunted houses, chills, and thrills. While humans have a weird desire to scare ourselves for our amusement, fear and horror in the workplace is far less desirable. And nothing can strike more fear into our hearts than scary bosses.
But are those leaders scary…or scared?
Today, I discuss how fear is detrimental for your team and how elevated perceived stress levels cause poor cognition. I also talk about why embracing empathy and building strong connections with your team while still maintaining high accountability and performance expectations will allow your team to rise to the challenge. Listen in for some scary statistics, but also the light around the dark corner that waits for those of us who are willing to take the next steps.
To access the episode transcript, please scroll down below.
Key Takeaways:
- Studies show that perceived stress can cause lower cognitive scores and a faster rate of cognitive decline.
- Be vulnerable in your journey to be a more empathetic leader – while still expecting high performance and holding people accountable – people will rise to the challenge.
- Examine your own emotional triggers and backstory. Be willing to interrogate yourself with a curious mind. Scaring your people won’t help, so stop trying to do so and understand why you were trying to in the first place.
“Most scary or ineffective leaders have no self-awareness about how poorly they come across and how much psychological torture they influence. And that’s because their negative behavior is almost always a result of their own fears.” — Maria Ross
Episode References:
- CNN: Stress May Lead to Lower Cognitive Function, Study Finds
- More on Arno Michaelis
- Buy the book and download a free chapter sneak peek: http://www.TheEmpathyDilemma.com
From Our Partner:
SparkEffect partners with organizations to unlock the full potential of their greatest asset: their people. Through their tailored assessments and expert coaching at every level, SparkEffect helps organizations manage change, sustain growth, and chart a path to a brighter future.
Go to sparkeffect.com/edge now and download your complimentary Professional and Organizational Alignment Review today.
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FULL TRANSCRIPT:
Welcome to the empathy edge podcast, the show that proves why cash flow, creativity and compassion are not mutually exclusive. I’m your host, Maria Ross, I’m a speaker, author, mom, facilitator and empathy advocate. And here you’ll meet trailblazing leaders and executives, authors and experts who embrace empathy to achieve radical success. We discuss all facets of empathy, from trends and research to the future of work to how to heal societal divisions and collaborate more effectively. Our goal is to redefine success and prove that empathy isn’t just good for society. It’s great for business. Welcome to October. This is Maria Ross here for your October hot take. I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone who’s bought or reviewed or cheerleaded me for the new book The Empathy dilemma. It’s doing great, and it’s really striking a chord with leaders who want to balance people, productivity, performance, personal boundaries, all the P’s. I’ve been thrilled to get to do some launch events and meet with crowds in person and do some online events. And you can find all of the launch events that are going on, whether they’re online or in real life, at the empathy dilemma.com so check that out. Scroll down to the events section, and you will see one that hopefully you can join me in. It is October.
It is not only the month of my birthday, but it is also Halloween. Woo. Halloween is just around the corner. Decorations are already in our neighborhood now, not our house yet. Mind you, we’re still settling into the new place, but this neighborhood takes its Halloween very seriously, which will be awesome for my son. So the ghouls and the goblins and the gladiators, that’s my son’s chosen costume. This year will be out in full force, as well as the spooky music, the haunted houses, the chills and the thrills we humans have this weird desire to scare ourselves for fun. So I like to call this the scary time of year, right? But fear and horror in the workplace are less desirable, and nothing can strike more fear into our hearts than Dum Dum Dum scary bosses. Now, I truly believe that most scary or ineffective leaders have no self awareness about how poorly they come across and also how much psychological torture they induce, unless, of course, they’re sadists, but that’s because their negative behavior is almost always a result of their own fears, which is why I called this episode scared least leaders, or scary leaders or scared leaders. They have a fear of losing control, a fear of looking stupid, a fear of failure imposter syndrome, or a fear of letting anyone see the real person inside. Now, a former White Nationalist turned speaker and anti hate activist, Arno Michaelis, who wrote the book, My Life After Hate and actually, whose story I recently got a chance to learn and was so moved by, I’ve invited him onto the podcast. I’ll actually put a link so you can learn more about him in the show notes. He reminded me in a recent talk he gave of the familiar adage, hurt people. Hurt people. Hurt people. Hurt people. And that is never more true than for bad bosses, they don’t realize that their attempts to look good and maintain control, you know, maintain control and command are ruining their chances of success, that when they create fear, anxiety and stress, it’s anything but beneficial to, you know, healthy competition, it actually neutralizes high performance. Studies show that when we are under perceived stress, it can cause lower cognitive scores and a faster rate of cognitive decline. Some studies like those cited by CNN, which I’ll link to in the notes, show how stress lowers cognitive function, even after adjusting for many physical risk factors, people with elevated stress levels were 37% more likely to have poor cognition, the researchers found. And I don’t know about you, but I want my team at their sharpest. I want them thinking at full capacity. And we literally can’t think straight when we’re operating under stress or fear our executives, our executive functions shut down. We can’t engage the parts of our brain that we need in our work when we’re in a constant state of fight, flight or freeze. So why on earth would a leader knowingly degrade their strongest assets, their people in such a blatant way? Well, successful leaders want their teams to be operating at optimal capacity. They want them to invent, problem solve, create, innovate, remember, Important Facts, all the things we need are frontal lobe to do. And if leaders across the board would embrace empathy as a strategic advantage, they would see how their team’s engagement, performance and innovation would increase. They’d be able to get the best out of the people they need to do the work, and those people could perform at levels that ultimately would make the leader look good and advance their own goals. So fear doesn’t work for the long term. It might be a desirable or, you know, seductive to think that it’s a short term fix. You know when you use that stick instead of the carrot, but it certainly doesn’t work for outperforming in challenging markets.
So I would advise any leaders out there who struggle to create strong connections with their teams, or those of you who recognize these bad behaviors in your own leaders, to invest in empathy, open yourself up to a new way to lead and operate or risk falling way behind. Be vulnerable in your journey to be a more empathetic leader while still expecting high performance and holding people accountable. But watch your people rise to the challenge, rather than get crushed under the negativity. The goal is performance, right? So stop trying to scare the hell out of your people, out of some underlying desire for respect or fear of failure, examine your own emotional triggers and backstory and interrogate yourself with a curious mind. Could you find another way to operate be more effective and cause less harm? I bet you could, if you’re willing to walk through that door, I promise there won’t be some crazed maniac inside waiting to torture you like all the Halloween movies would have us believe in this movie, I promise that what waits around that dark corner is actually a whole lot of light. Thanks for joining me this month on this month’s hot take. Please reach out to me on the socials and let me know what you think of the episodes and any other topics or themes you want me to cover in future hot takes and until next time, please remember that cash flow, creativity and compassion are not mutually exclusive. Take care and be kind
For more on how to achieve radical success through empathy. Visit the empathyedge.com there you can listen to past episodes, access show notes and free resources. Book me for a Keynote or workshop and sign up for our email list to get new episodes, insights, news and events. Please follow me on Instagram at Red slice Maria, never forget, empathy is your superpower. Use it to make your work and the world a better place.
