Leaders are crunched right now. Many are valiantly trying to adopt empathetic and Compassionate Leadership models to adapt to what employees on the market demand new models of leadership that are more human, but some still struggle to balance that with making tough business decisions, setting boundaries, and achieving high-performance standards – serendipitously, the subject of my next book.
Today, Dr. Rebecca Eldredge, a licensed psychologist who supports socially conscious leaders, changemakers, and organizations shares how leaders can identify signs of overwhelm and burnout in their lives and respond to compassionate fatigue. We discussed the huge financial costs to your organization of ignoring mental health, or pushing through when others are counting on you. We also talked about why allowing emotions at work is key to psychological safety, and how leaders who might be reluctant can get more comfortable making space and time for emotions in the workplace to increase engagement, performance, and retention. Take a deep breath and take a listen.
To access this episode transcript, please scroll down below.
Key Takeaways:
- The more familiar you are with the state of relaxation in yourself, the easier you will recognize when burnout begins and you are not in that state of calm.
- You don’t have to have days or weeks of calm to draw on, it can be even a moment of peace to recognize those calm, nervous system queues.
- Being empathetic doesn’t mean you don’t do the hard things, it means you’re deliberate and thoughtful when communicating and making those hard decisions. With the skyrocketing costs of healthcare (often as a direct result of stress and burnout), we cannot afford to not take care of our mental and emotional health.
“You’re much more equipped to make solid decisions when you are connected and when you are in an empathetic and compassionate role with others – and also with yourself.”
— Dr. Rebecca Eldredge
About Dr. Rebecca Eldredge: For the past 20 years, Dr. Rebecca Eldredge has used her commitment to mental health, cultural competence, and social justice to support individuals and organizations to cultivate compassion for themselves as they bring compassion and justice to their organizations and communities. She has been honored to work with corporations, university departments, and refugee resettlement agencies as well as hundreds of diverse clients. Dr. Eldredge completed both her M.A. and her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Southern Illinois University-Carbondale and has taught adjunct in the University of Houston’s and Our Lady of the Lake’s graduate psychology programs. She is also a Step into Your Moxie® Certified Facilitator.
Connect with Dr. Rebecca Eldredge:
Website: https://rebeccaephd.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebecca-a-eldredge-phd/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.rebecca_feel_deeply
Chrysalis: https://rebeccaephd.com/chrysalis-small-group
Speaking: https://rebeccaephd.com/speaking
Facilitations/Trainings: https://rebeccaephd.com/facilitation
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FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:
Welcome to the empathy edge podcast the show that proves why cash flow, creativity and compassion are not mutually exclusive. I’m your host Maria Ross. I’m a speaker, author, mom, facilitator and empathy advocate. And here you’ll meet trailblazing leaders and executives, authors and experts who embrace empathy to achieve radical success. We discuss all facets of empathy from trends and research to the future of work to how to heal societal divisions and collaborate more effectively. Our goal is to redefine success and prove that empathy isn’t just good for society, it’s great for business. Leaders are crunched right now. Many are valiantly trying to adopt empathetic and Compassionate Leadership models to adapt to what employees on the market demand new models of leadership that are more human, but some still struggle to balance that with making tough business decisions, setting boundaries and achieving high performance standards. serendipitously, the subject of my next book. Today, Dr. Rebecca Eldridge, a licensed psychologist who supports social conscious leaders, changemakers and organizations shares how leaders can identify signs of overwhelm and burnout in their lives and respond to compassionate fatigue. We discussed the huge financial costs to your organization of ignoring mental health, or pushing through when others are counting on you. We also talked about why allowing emotions at work is key to psychological safety, and how leaders who might be reluctant can get more comfortable making space and time for emotions in the workplace to increase engagement, performance and retention. For the past 20 years, Dr. Eldridge has used her commitment and mental health, cultural competence and social justice to support individuals and organizations to cultivate compassion for themselves, as they bring compassion and justice to their organizations and communities. Dr. Eldridge has been honored to work with corporations, university departments, and refugee resettlement agencies, as well as hundreds of diverse clients. She’s also a speaker and facilitator, and you will love what she has to share today. Take a deep breath and take a listen. Let’s get connected. If you’re loving this content, don’t forget to go to the empathy edge.com. And sign up for the email list to get free resources and more empathy infused success tips and find out how you can book me as a speaker. I want to hear how empathy is helping you be more successful. So please sign up now at V empathy edge.com. Oh, and follow me on Instagram, where I’m always posting all the things for you at Red slice Maria. Thank you Dr. Rebecca Eldridge, for joining us today on the empathy edge podcast to talk about leaders and leaders struggling with burnout and overwhelm and stress this could not be a more timely topic. So welcome to the show.
Dr. Rebecca Eldredge 04:00
Thank you so much. It’s a pleasure being here. So real quick, tell
Maria Ross 04:04
us a little bit about your story and how you got into this work supporting socially conscious leaders changemakers organizations, why this work and why that specific group? Hmm,
Dr. Rebecca Eldredge 04:17
good question. Well, I I’ll start with my graduate training briefly just to say that while I was in graduate school, I was getting my doctorate in counseling psychology. And I was focusing on multicultural issues that was already an interest in the passion of mine. And I was on one of my early practicum assignments and I was working at an intensive outpatient program, which for anybody who’s listening who’s not familiar with it is just kind of full day. Lots of group work intensive for people who need not hospitalization, but are going through a really difficult time with a lot of challenges. And while most of the work was group work, occasionally We’d be meeting one on one just maybe once or twice with some of the participants. And on this occasion, I was assigned to me individually with this woman, who, when I went to invite her to come speak with me separately, made it very clear, no uncertain terms that she had no interest in meeting with me, you’re talking with me. And, you know, I was, as you might imagine, I was very nervous and uncomfortable. This was in front of the whole group, I was a trainee, I was trying to do what I had been asked and told to do and do a good job at it. I also will say, For context, I had a little bit of a glimmer of understanding of why she might not want to talk to me, because this was the sole black woman or person of color, in fact, at the time, and the entire group, participant program and staff. And for anybody who doesn’t see what I look like, I am very light skinned white light featured blonde hair, blue eyes, and at the time, very young as well. And so she really had no reason to trust me, and I at least knew enough at the time to know that. Nevertheless, I asked if she would just for a few minutes to up to the other room, just so we could talk about it. I think I asked her for five minutes of time that she didn’t have to share anything she didn’t want to, and could leave whenever she was ready. And she agreed to that. So we moved into the other room. And I don’t think we even sat down. And I asked her if she would be willing to just share a little bit about what had brought her into the program. And she told me briefly and vaguely that her work environment was kind of stressful. She was in a leadership position there. But she wasn’t really being feeling seen or heard. She gave me a couple examples of things people were saying and doing. She did not at a single time use a word bias or discrimination or prejudice. But fortunately, I was listening and could hear in between what she was saying and what she wasn’t saying. And I observed. That sounds like it could be related to identity or discrimination, how does it seem for you, and everything changed in that moment. So she continued to talk to me then for the next hour, sharing so much more about the reality of her experience there. And that really shaped for me something that had already been there in a passion and an interest in my compassion and empathy, for wanting to understand other people’s experiences. But that experience of seeing a leader in this role who wasn’t being recognized wasn’t being valued wasn’t being treated with the respect that she absolutely deserved. And seeing how much of a difference it could make to support a person in that role, by seeing them by acknowledging their experience, and by not putting all of that pressure on them to be the ones to have to describe, explain or justify their experience. So that was over 20 years ago now. And that has kind of set the trajectory that I’ve continued to be on, I’m seeking to serve and to work with people from different backgrounds, different populations, by really getting to know who they are, what their experiences are in the world. And the challenges that these leaders so often face when they’re trying to be very socially conscious and lead others, but are also often disproportionately affected by the injustice is on the systems themselves. And the toll that that takes on them to be in these environments where they’re both supporting the changes that they absolutely realize the urgency of, but also they’re carrying the weight. And so that is kind of what led me to the focus that I have now on supporting wellbeing for changemakers. I love that.
Maria Ross 09:02
And yeah, it is a special kind of burden that whether you’re a change maker that’s just trying to do the right thing and trying to do right by your people and leading with a new leadership paradigm of compassion and empathy, or your leader and trying to make change. And you’re already have so many obstacles in front of you in terms of systemic bias, systemic racism, systemic sexism, that headwinds are bigger for those leaders. And so, of course, they’re feeling burned out and pressured. And given the last few years that we’ve gone through, there’s a lot of pressure on leaders, the subject of my next book is trying to adopt these new leadership models and show up and be vulnerable and be there for their team and get to know them and the realities of the business environment and the corporate environment of the decisions they have to make right now. They can almost feel a little bit like they’re serving two masters at times. So with that, how can leaders to identify those signs of overwhelm and burnout in their lives before it’s too late, how can they understand the signs but also understand that what those signs are telling them is actually going to make them less productive, if they try to push through.
Dr. Rebecca Eldredge 10:16
One of the exercises that I start training is in facilitations, with a lot is an experiential exercise where people get to connect to the state that they’re in when they feel calm, clear and connected. So the state of your nervous system where you feel relaxed, and where you can think creatively, and you can really problem solve, and you can communicate effectively. And you can actually read other people’s communication and body language more accurately, you know, and the reason why I do that is because if you know what that state is for yourself, and you know how that feels in your body, and you know, the thoughts and the stories that go along with it, and the emotions, the more familiar you are with that, the quicker and easier it is to recognize when you’re not there. And so when we talk about burnout, of course, we can talk about the common symptoms and definition that is a state of mental emotional, physical exhaustion and depletion is often accompanied by lowered motivation, decreased productivity, negative attitudes towards oneself, and others changes in eating and sleeping, decreased creativity, feeling more withdrawn, or hopeless. So there’s all the symptoms that we can recognize. But part of what can be really important is when somebody can recognize for themselves, their own nervous system cues, then they know where they’re feeling good. And when something goes off track, they can more quickly recognize it, which means they can then more quickly seek to respond and respond compassionately toward that part of themselves that is in distress, rather than with what is so much more common as the judgment or the criticism or the kind of oversee or the critique of Why am I feeling this way? I have so much to get done. I don’t have time for this random push it through. It’s
Maria Ross 12:18
almost annoying. Yeah. Have you worked with leaders who can’t recognize what that state of calm and flow and space looks like for themselves? Have they been going so hard for so many years that they don’t even connect with that question?
Dr. Rebecca Eldredge 12:34
You could see not usually, because usually, even if it’s going back, you can go back as far as you want, as long as you can remember it or even encouraging that people can imagine it like, imagine a moment where you would feel this way. It doesn’t have to be something that lasted for hours or days or years. Most people can think of some moment in time. However, I will say, because your question is a really good one, that it’s important to acknowledge the role that trauma and trauma history can play in this as well. So certainly, it’s easier for some people than others, because a state of safety doesn’t feel safe for everybody. And so I do just want to at least briefly acknowledge that is a harsh reality that for some people, it’s a lot harder to get there. And it’s a lot harder to stay there.
Maria Ross 13:28
What I think that’s so important too, because it is the acknowledgement it is the self awareness of where you are right now, that’s so important to trying to get to where you want to be. And I think we tend to skip that step, we tend to look for the pill or to look for the solution or to look for the panacea that’s going to help us feel better or be more productive, or take that five hour energy drink or whatever it is to get past it rather than actually like what is going on for me right now. And that’s no longer like a woowoo question. That’s a self preservation question.
Dr. Rebecca Eldredge 14:02
Absolutely 100% That when we can learn to build confidence in ourselves, about being able to tune in rather than tune out of those sensations, then those can start to provide such a compass or I think of it as a lighthouse as well, where it can guide you and show you where the rocky shore and the dangers are. We were just talking about how I’m live it we both live along water and along coasts. And there’s lots of lighthouses near me. So you know the idea of something that shines a light and it doesn’t steer for you, but it helps you to see where the greatest dangers are so that you can navigate more safely toward that harbored towards your destination. And I think that as much as we’d gotten into the habit of as you said, seeing these emotions or these sensations as a nuisance as something that gets in our way They can actually be one of our greatest strengths in finding our way forward.
Maria Ross 15:05
So there is a special kind of stress and burnout going on right now, given our economy, given the state of the business market right now, where leaders who, as I mentioned, are trying to do the right thing. They’re trying to be the empathetic bosses, they’re trying to adopt Compassionate Leadership models and get rid of the old outdated command and control models. They’re in it with their teams, they’re getting to know their teams, they are listening, they are doing all the right things. And they are also being asked to make some really tough business decisions that might include laying people off, it might include having difficult performance evaluations with people. And so they find themselves wearing those two hats of really being in it with their team and being a coach and a mentor. But then, at the end of the day, their responsibility is to the viability and health of the organization. And so are you working with leaders that are trying to to walk that tightrope? I like to say, and how are they navigating that? What are some ways that they are enabling themselves to come through that with less stress and less burnout? And hmm,
Dr. Rebecca Eldredge 16:15
absolutely, yes, well, absolutely. It’s so common right now that people who feel deeply who do feel the empathy, that emotional response towards others, and that sense of connection, but along with the compassion, the desire to do something about it, and it’s easy to see kind of what you laid out as mutually exclusive, like, either I’m really being empathetic and compassionate with my team members, or I’m making the business decisions that need to be made. And I think, you know, these things are very much integrated, that you’re much more equipped to make solid decisions when you are connected. And when you are in an empathetic and compassionate role, with others, with your team members, and also with yourself. And maybe we can come back to that. But that’s one of the places where I see it really falling apart for people is that they extend so much at themselves towards that empathy and compassion for others, and at great deficit to their own needs. So the leaders that are able to look at how setting an example, modeling, even including setting limits, setting boundaries, communicating authentically things that sometimes are hard to say and hard to hear, but how much that kind of honest communication in itself can be an act of compassion, and support people’s growth and development and future opportunities, even if it’s not within your own team or your own company. And so, I really encourage and I think the leaders who are able to integrate that, and see that their compassion doesn’t end or compromise at the point of making business decisions. And I know this sounds, you’re very much in line with your work as well that these things complement each other, that they absolutely, as they go together. That’s where the magic and really how only
Maria Ross 18:24
their peanut butter and jelly, I love it or chocolate and peanut butter, whatever your preference. But I do think that that’s where that’s there’s that confusion over what empathetic leadership actually means. And it doesn’t mean you avoid conflict, it doesn’t mean you’re always being nice. And it doesn’t mean you lower standards of performance either. And I like to think of it and I’d love to know what you think of this. I like to think of it as at that point where you’re having to make difficult business decisions, and you’re having to communicate things to people that are going to really impact their lives. Or they may or even just they may not want to hear, right. It’s not that the act of doing it can is should be looked at as empathetic or not. It’s the way that you do it that can help you embed the empathy into the exchange and into the interaction. So I’ve talked many times on the show about one of my most empathetic bosses was someone who had to lay off the entire marketing team, and I was on the marketing team. But the way he did it was empathetic and kind and supportive. And he thought ahead and thought about what our questions would be and what resources we would need. He took the time to empathetically communicate a decision that none of us liked. But the way he did it will always be remembered. And there’s that famous quote that people won’t remember what you did, but they will remember how you made them feel. But so talk to me a little bit about that. Do you work with leaders who have trouble discerning the actions and the decisions from communicating or interacting In a healthy and respectful and compassionate way,
Dr. Rebecca Eldredge 20:04
yes, in fact, I work with people on this a lot, because there’s that misconception that if somebody’s not going to feel good about what you’re saying that you’re wrong or bad for saying it. And absolutely, to your point, like there’s ways to deliver very difficult information in a way that is not ego based, that’s not self serving. And that is very much in service of your care and compassion for the person that you’re talking to, even as you’re saying something hard. So your example was so great. And I was thinking, I bet they didn’t deliver that news on an email.
Maria Ross 20:44
Right? Well, and that’s the challenge of having to do things at scale. Right now, I know that I’ve talked to some leaders who were like, we didn’t want it to be done this way. But there was no other way to at the same time, communicate with 10, you know, 5000 people, 2000 people. So I don’t know what the right answer is on that. And even then, right, like, how is it crapped it?
Dr. Rebecca Eldredge 21:06
Like, what is the content? How is it said, How is it conveyed? What’s the tone of the message, you know, so even when you have to make those tough decisions, to not do it in the way that you would really want to. And this is so important, because we are in such a divisive period of time right now. And so there’s very few safe topics in terms of MIDI, deep, meaningful conversations. And if the only time that we can communicate or believed that we can communicate compassionately is when we’re already in agreement with the person that we’re talking to, then we just look at this absolute, you know, chasm that’s growing wider and wider. So I think the leaders who can show up and, and I actually have a free resource on five ways to speak up and these difficult conversations, because this is such a common challenge. But leaders who can speak up in a way that allows for there to be differences allows for there to be perspectives that vary and other points of view. And even for there to be okay, I’m going to tell you some really difficult feedback right now. And I want us to talk about it together. But times where you can ask questions as well, or where you can show understanding for that person’s point of view or for how they came to that point of view, even if you absolutely vehemently disagree with the conclusions that they’ve drawn from it.
Maria Ross 22:43
I think that’s one of the biggest thieves of empathy in the workplace is just lack of time, lack of time management, there’s so many things that are such a healthier interaction for us as human to human. If we take the time, and it’s either the leaders going, I don’t have time it’s Go, go go. I don’t have time to get to know my people and what makes them individually tick. I don’t have time to sit down and listen to someone who’s having a hard time. I don’t have time. And the reality is that if we don’t make that time now, it’s going to come back and bite us anyway.
Dr. Rebecca Eldredge 23:18
Yeah, absolutely. And it’s a paradox, right? Because the time that we’re spending are the leaders are spending, like attending meeting after meeting after meeting and this report and that report. And you know, there’s things that are taking enormous chunks of time. But when you spend the time actually taking care of people, including yourself, then you’re that, you know, going back to the symptoms of burnout or overwhelmed, like money or moving yourself and others in a way that allows you to think calmly and clearly and compassionately and communicate effectively, that’s a time saver. The investment that you make in well being returns to you again, and again, in terms of the environment that you’re in the people that want to work with you and for you the results that you’re getting the statistics around the amount that companies spend per year. And so then sub health, for example, where it’s like, it’s like $16 billion incremental health cost per year. And that was actually a number. I think that was from 2008. So that’s, you know, that that skyrocketed since then. So you’re looking at the costs in the short term, or in the long term, as much as it feels like you can’t afford the time you really can’t afford not to. Exactly,
Maria Ross 24:42
oh my gosh, and that’s such a startling statistic. And if we look at you know, that’s a great segue to talk about, you know, what role do emotions play in mental health and connection and change making because many of us I’m in Gen Z and even us on the tail, you know, the tail end of that We were very much taught not to bring emotions into the workplace. And I can’t imagine being older and wiser now, I can’t imagine any more place where it’s more important to bring emotions in than when groups of human beings need to collaborate. So how do the leaders you work with balance, the volume of emotion, the appropriateness of emotion, all of that within the context of the workplace and getting work done, and being able to, you know, still craft a professional, yet personal and nurturing environment? As a lot of questions wrapped up in that, but start from wherever sounds good? Well,
Dr. Rebecca Eldredge 25:43
the I’m gonna start the first phrase that jumped into my head, as you were asking it was psychological safety. And that when you’re in an environment, when you, when leaders are creating these environments that are safe for people to show up fully and wholly themselves, then communication can look a lot different than in an environment that’s more toxic or shut down, including, you can look at an environment where there is no emotions, right? So kind of that, like you’re talking about, like what used to be the standard have no feelings expressed at work all business, exactly. And that people are now leaving environments like that in droves because of how toxic and unhealthy it is. On the other side, if you have an environment, that psychologically safe and healthy, then you’re actually you’re still going to have emotions present, but they’re probably not going to be as intense as you fear they are. Because you’ve created an environment where people don’t need a bottle all of that up all the time, where now it’s more risk of overflowing or breaking out in a fight or flight response, or causing a shutdown response from having tried to restrict it. Now, because it’s just part of the flow of conversations and happening in an environment that supports healthy dialogue and healthy disagreement is actually less than 10. So for all know, it’s not to say that everybody agrees all the time. But now there’s a setting in which is not building up to that point of maximizing capacity. And so leaders who are in those roles, yeah, there, as you said, like, there’s still boundaries around when do we talk about this? How do we talk about this? Where are the spaces for it. And so organizations that create safe spaces, safe relationships between supervisors and their team, or between leaders and their staff spaces where they have ERGs, for example, and diversity teams and HR department is where they’re really invested and engaged, you know, where the neck kind of a separate standalone siloed department but where they’re welcomed and included and their their perspectives are really valued, then you start to create a whole different culture. And in that space, the emotions go back to being more of the lighthouse, right? What’s happening here that’s working, what’s not feeling right. And what is that pointing us toward that needs our attention?
Maria Ross 28:27
I’m going to throw you a curveball question here. Because what do you do with leaders and I empathize with this and I can’t relate, but I can empathize with it. Leaders who say I’m just not emotional, I struggle with being touchy feely, it feels fake when I asked people how they’re doing personally, you know, so they sort of cognitively know that they need to be doing this more. But maybe it’s their own trauma or their own emotional intelligence. And I don’t mean that in a negative way, just their their capacity for their understanding their own emotional intelligence that gets in the way of them being this new model of leader, how do you help coach them through that? Is it again, all about them doing the work the internal work themselves first, so that they can show up that way? What if someone is genuinely uncomfortable with those kinds of emotions or those kinds of interactions with people they work with? What do you tell them?
Dr. Rebecca Eldredge 29:24
Well, there’s a few different pieces. So that actually yes, the quick answer is, of course, some of it is the internal individual work and understanding to your point like what is it that’s making this uncomfortable? Because it’s very different. If it’s the lack of experience or practice or being raised in a background that might be childhood emotional neglect, which is not to say abuse or but just not having their needs met or not having healthy examples. of how to share and profit, like
Maria Ross 30:01
if you shunts, like, if you come from a family that does bottle things up, or they don’t rock the boat, or they don’t they avoid conflict, it’s not an ill intention. It’s just that’s the environment they grew up in.
Dr. Rebecca Eldredge 30:11
Exactly. But that’s different than if it comes from an aspect of neurodiversity, right, where it’s just a different way that their brain processes things. And so there’s not a cookie cutter, or a one size fits all to that. And it does come back to creating an environment that’s safe and inclusive for everybody, including the people that perhaps have more difficulty feeling and expressing their emotions. And you know, so it’s not about only creating it to that now, one other type is just a different type than before, but how do you look at, you know, can you communicate then about the fact that this isn’t natural for you that this isn’t how you connected to people, but develop other ways that you connect to people? What are the different ways that are more congruent for you to show that you care? Or that you’re invested? So yeah, so working with the person to understand a little bit more about what’s actually impacting them, can then shape what direction they go from there? And do you find any
Maria Ross 31:18
trends among the differences between gender, or the differences between generations in their ability to embrace a more personal human workplace and work environment where they’re talking about these things, where they’re openly talking about mental health and burnout, and overwhelm, and really, really seeing each other? Have you in your work with your clients? Again, every individual is different. And I hate to I hate to put empathy and an agenda box, I was tried to someone tried to force me to do that early in my research. And I said, No, it’s a gender neutral topic. But do you find that there is some sort of trend over a difference in gender or gender identity? Or potentially with different generations? What’s your perspective?
Dr. Rebecca Eldredge 32:06
Yes, and yes, and yes. Yes, there are differences. You know, there are differences in how people are socialized in the United States, as men and as women, and that can be influenced by how their gender is perceived by others, is also influenced by their own gender identity. And so yes, certainly, we have these cultural norms or expectations that have been built up around the differences. And so we see that and then because across generations, that has changed that we can also see those generational differences. And all of that side, within any group, whether you’re talking about a gendered group, or ethnic group or religious group, there, we still see that there’s more diversity within a group than there is between groups. So while we can point to different kind of commonalities or trends or norms is still not going to be true for everybody within that group. And so, you know, part of that is if you have a work environment, that does tend to have more of one gender, or for example than another, then you’re probably going to see a bit of a difference there. But how do you then tree even if you had, which is impossible, right, but even if you had five people that shared most of their aspects of their identity in common, you would still be dealing with so much variety and perspective and experience and personality. And so it doesn’t end up coming down to it being about one group or another. Right. And we had done
Maria Ross 33:49
some interviews with folks that are both generational experts, and also experts in women leadership and gender based leadership. And that’s a consistent theme. And I just personally, my own sample size of me, I know that, you know, women don’t have the lock on being empathetic leaders, because two of my most toxic leaders I’ve had were women, and then two of my most empathetic leaders were men. So you know, it’s different for everyone. I was just wondering if there was any sort of trendline that you saw, um, as we wrap up, what would be your one or two actionable items you could give to leaders listening, that are feeling that crunch right now in terms of shedding the old models of leadership, trying to embrace these new empathetic human centered models of leadership and dealing with the current global environment, we’re in geopolitical environment, and mostly market environment where they are sort of dealing in the middle with a lot of things are getting crunched on all sides? What would be maybe some first one or two action steps or tips you would have for them? I
Dr. Rebecca Eldredge 34:51
would say start, please pay attention to what you need for your own health and well being because I think it’s so A wonderful that we have this biological drive to be compassionate and to help others where we see suffering. But I see so many leaders, so many people in general, especially people who are carrying that heavy loads of this world, this environment where they give and give and give of themselves to others. And they’re excellent, right, they’re so good at it. And so people keep asking for more from them, and they keep wanting to deliver and the toll and the cost of that is so, so high. So my first thing is to say, please, please see taking care of yourself as an absolutely essential part of how you continue to show up effectively to take care of the people around you and make the tough decisions. If you are ignoring those cues. If you are pushing through, then ultimately, you’re not only costing yourself, but you are costing everything for the people and the causes that you care so much about. So even if it feels difficult, if it feels selfish, if it feels like a luxury that you can’t afford to really, really challenge that so that you can see that you are the tool like there is nothing else like you don’t just get a new hammer or a new saw. Like you have to keep yourself sharp in order to do this. And so if you care so deeply about others, you absolutely need to extend that same care for yourself.
Maria Ross 36:28
And I’ve seen a thread among leaders that I’m interviewing, both from my last book, but also this new book I’m working on where many of them seek support, they know when to ask for help and sort of raise the white flag. And I know that you know, for example, you do a small group collective where leaders can come together called chrysalis. But there’s lots of opportunities like that to have peer networks or friend networks or whatever kind of support you need that you don’t have to go it alone. Yeah. And that’s really
Dr. Rebecca Eldredge 36:59
hard. A lot of times for leaders because it can be such an isolating position leaders that I’ve worked with brother like, yeah, it was really friends with all my co workers. And we’d get along and we’d socialize. And then I got promoted, you know, and then I was now I’m their supervisor, now I’m a leader. And now suddenly, the conversations change. It can be like the saying lonely at the top, but it can be very isolating. And so absolutely, to find the spaces and the people where you can connect, because social support makes such a tremendous effect and moderating influence on how we
Maria Ross 37:36
experience stress. Thank you so much for your insights and your time today, Rebecca, I really appreciate it. I think this is an important topic. We need to be supporting a lot of these leaders so they can support their teams. We’ll have all your links in the show notes. But where’s one place where folks can connect with you or find out more about
Dr. Rebecca Eldredge 37:55
your work? My website is probably the easiest place to find an overview of my work. And there is also a contact form on there to reach out and ask any questions or learn more about any particular services. So
Maria Ross 38:08
my website is Rebecca ee phd.com. Love it. Rebecca ee phd.com For those on the go right now listening to the podcast. Thank you again for your time and for your insights.
Dr. Rebecca Eldredge 38:21
Thank you so much.
Maria Ross 38:22
It’s a pleasure. And thank you everyone for listening to another episode of the empathy edge podcast. If you like what you’ve heard you know what to do, please rate and review, share it with a colleague or a friend. And don’t forget to connect with me on Instagram at Red slice Maria. Until next time, please remember that cash flow creativity and compassion are not mutually exclusive. Take care and be kind. For more on how to achieve radical success through empathy, visit the empathy edge.com. There you can listen to past episodes, access shownotes and free resources. Book me for a Keynote or workshop and sign up for our email list to get new episodes insights, news and events. Please follow me on Instagram at Red slice Maria. Never forget empathy is your superpower. Use it to make your work and the world a better place.
