October is Maria’s birthday month—and her wish this year? More empathy and compassion in leadership. In this special solo episode, Maria shares why we must stop accepting toxic leadership as “normal,” and how you can turn the tide toward human-centered, high-performing workplaces.
Plus, she’s got a special birthday and holiday gift for you (and maybe one for her, too!): Buy The Empathy Dilemma in bulk for your clients or teams and get a free 30-minute virtual Author Fireside Chat if you order 50+ copies by Dec 31, 2025.
She also shares three powerful, practical actions any leader can take to be a more empathetic leader and increase engagement, performance, and accountability —and reminds you where to go for more inspiration, including her upcoming virtual leadership events and her Forbes column.
To access the episode transcript, please scroll down below.
Highlights:
- Maria’s 53rd birthday reflections: why empathy matters more than ever.
- The myth of “tough” leadership and what to replace it with.
- Her birthday/holiday book, discounted bulk order promotion, and how it benefits your team.
- Three actions leaders can take right now to model empathy.
- Details on Maria’s virtual Leadership Events.
- Where to find her latest Forbes articles.
“There’s clearly no more data I can show you. Now, it’s a question of you deciding what kind of leader – and person – do YOU want to be?” — Maria Ross
Episode References:
- Buy The Empathy Dilemma in bulk at a discount: https://www.TheEmpathyDilemma.com Buy 50 or more copies and contact me to get your free virtual Author Fireside Chat to guide discussion and enable action.
- Join an upcoming Leadership Event: https://red-slice.com/leadership-workshop
- Read Maria’s Forbes column: https://www.forbes.com/sites/mariaross
- Article on the 996 trend: https://www.wired.com/story/silicon-valley-china-996-work-schedule/
Sponsor Message: Keynote Speakers and Conference Trainers: Get your free Talkadot trial and enjoy this game changer for your speaking business! www.share.talkadot.com/mariaross
Connect with Maria:
Get Maria’s books on empathy: Red-Slice.com/books
Learn more about Maria’s work: Red-Slice.com
Hire Maria to speak: Red-Slice.com/Speaker-Maria-Ross
Take the LinkedIn Learning Course! Leading with Empathy
LinkedIn: Maria Ross
Instagram: @redslicemaria
Facebook: Red Slice
Threads: @redslicemaria
FULL TRANSCRIPT:
Hey everyone, it’s Maria here with an October Hot Take episode for you.
Now—quick fun fact—October happens to be my birthday month! And this year, I’m turning 53. I know, I know—how did that happen so fast? (My skincare routine deserves its own episode!)
But seriously, birthdays are a time for reflection—and for me, this year’s reflection has been crystal clear:
I want more empathy and compassion in the world.
And honestly, that starts with leadership.
We do not have to accept horrible behavior from leaders. We shouldn’t shrug and say, “Well, that’s just how business is.” Because guess what? That kind of leadership doesn’t work anymore. It doesn’t inspire. It doesn’t retain great people. It doesn’t build loyal customers or innovative teams.
So today, as I blow out my metaphorical candles, I want to share my birthday wish—and it involves you.
But first… a little gift talk and some announcements.
You’ve probably heard me talk about my latest book, The Empathy Dilemma: How Successful Leaders Balance Performance, People, and Personal Boundaries. It’s already won two international book awards and is getting love from readers who say it’s changing how they lead, live, and communicate.
And since it’s my birthday month—and the holidays are coming up—I have a little offer that doubles as my birthday gift.
If you buy 50 or more copies of The Empathy Dilemma by December 31, 2025, for your team, your clients, or even your favorite association or network, I’ll gift you back a free 30-minute virtual Author Fireside Chat with me. You can ask me anything, or I can facilitate a rich group discussion about how to put empathy into practice at work.
Think of it as a win-win: you give your people a book that’s not just inspiring but strategic—one that helps them perform better, communicate better, and lead better. And you get to make me very happy on my birthday. (See what I did there?)
All the details and bulk purchase options are at TheEmpathyDilemma.com.
Okay—now that we’ve covered gifts, let’s talk about how you, as a leader, can help make my birthday wish come true.
YOu’re hearing a lot these days from certain people trying to tell you to stop being kind, stop being inclusive, and just focus on profit and productivity.
And they could not be more wrong. Just because someone says something very often and very loudly to gain clicks and views, doesn’t make them right. Time to get our critical thinking going now more than ever and understand how this thinking serves THEM, not you.
So here’s the truth: empathy isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.
It’s not “soft.” It’s smart.
And the best leaders—those who create real impact—understand that.
We’ve seen it over and over: Empathetic leaders build trust faster, retain top performers longer, and deliver better results. But lately, I’ve noticed a worrying trend—leaders feeling the pressure to harden up, to disconnect, to “focus on performance at all costs.”
No. No. No. That’s the old playbook.
And if we want to evolve the workplace—and the world—we have to stop glorifying that.
So let’s turn the tide. Let’s start a movement of enlightened, human-centered leadership. Because empathy doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior. It means understanding the why so you can lead more effectively.
And you—yes, you listening—can be part of that change.
Here are three actions you can take right now to make a difference in your sphere of influence:
1. Model it daily.
Don’t just talk about empathy—show it. Ask better questions. Listen to understand, not to respond. Share your decision-making process openly so people see that you value their input. When leaders model empathy, teams follow suit.
2. Build it into your systems.
Embed empathy into how your organization operates. Review your policies and incentives—do they encourage collaboration or competition? Do performance reviews include how people treat others? If not, start there. You can’t scale empathy without structure.
3. Protect your own boundaries.
This might surprise you, but empathy without limits leads to burnout. As I say in the book, your compassion is only sustainable if you protect your own well-being. Make space to recharge. Say no when you need to. That’s not selfish—it’s strategic.
If every leader did just these three things, the ripple effects would be enormous. We’d see more innovative teams, healthier cultures, and better business outcomes.
Now, I often get those naysayers in the room of my keynotes or leadership development workshops. “What about (insert company or leader name here)?”They focus on productivity at all costs, making people work 7 days a week, and it’s how they seem to gain a competitive edge. They are kicking butt and taking names! They are leading our country in innovation and output!
Yes. You’re right. You will always find an example of someone or some organization or even some country that promotes draconian methods to turn a profit or lead their industry. They exist! It’s the way business is done in some places, regardless of not only the human toll, but the loss of creativity, innovation and collaborative thinking that could potentially lift them even higher.
Here’s the thing: I can’t show these people any more data. There is so much data, so much research showing that empathetic and human-centered leadership leads to more innovation, engagement, sustainability, customer loyalty and long -term success. It’s there. I wrote a whole book about it!
So the data is no longer the issue. Showing the contrarians data is not enough. I admit, I’m kind of done.
Done – meaning there’s clearly no more data I can show you. Now, it’s a question of you deciding what kind of leader and person do YOU want to be? Do you want to follow those destructive models? Is that the person you want to be when you go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning? Do you want to know that you are intentionally crushing people’s souls, instilling fear, working people to the bone so that their mental health and family relationships crumble? Is that worth it to you, if you KNOW that operating with more empathy as a leader will still yield you great results -and enable you to sleep well at night with the person you are in the world?
I recently learned about the 9-9-6 work schedule from China now en vogue with Silicon Valley companies. 72 hour work weeks. 9 am to 9 pm, 6 days a week. To get ahead. This is horrifying, people.
We need to be better. We need to appreciate the one life we get to live and understand that we will get the best out of our people to accelerate growth and drive results if we take a more human approach. It’s not just good business sense. It’s ethical. It’s kind. It’s humane.
No one. NO ONE will wish they spent more time at work when they die just to move a stock price a quarter of a percentage point on a given Tuesday in July. Seriously folks. I myself almost died once, from a ruptured brain aneurysm. I tell you now that the client meeting about what to schedule in a partner communication email that I missed was not on my radar. And guess what, the sky didn’t fall and that company is one of the biggest tech leaders in the world and has been doing just fine, thank you very much.
So yes—my birthday wish is that you’ll be part of this movement. That you’ll choose to lead with empathy, courage, and wisdom. Because the more leaders who do, the faster we create workplaces that actually work for people.
And, you know, if you also want to grab some copies of The Empathy Dilemma for your team and make my birthday extra special, I won’t stop you.
Oh—and before I let you go, if you’re ready to really put this into practice, don’t miss my upcoming Virtual Leadership Events. These are interactive, high-impact experiences where we help you and your executive team build trust, alignment, and high performance without burning people out.
You’ll walk away with tangible frameworks, not fluff—and a renewed sense of what empathetic leadership looks like in action.
You can learn more and reserve your spot at Red-Slice.com/leadership-workshop.
And of course, for weekly insights on empathy, culture, and leadership strategy, well, not really weekly but a few times a month really, follow my Forbes column at Forbes.com/sites/MariaRoss.
So as I celebrate another trip around the sun, I’m filled with gratitude—for this community, for your leadership, and for the possibility that we can make workplaces more human, one act of empathy at a time.
That’s my birthday wish. And I hope you’ll help me make it come true.
Now go out there, lead with heart and edge—and I’ll see you next time on The Empathy Edge. Until next time, please remember that cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive. Take care and be kind!
