Nothing has taught me more about empathy than being a parent. Full stop.
And trust me, I’ve had plenty of training. I’ve studied empathy, coached it, written books about it, and spoken to rooms full of leaders about how to cultivate it. But the real crash course? That came the moment I became “Mom.”
Parenting is empathy bootcamp on steroids. Talk about adapting to different styles: you’re not just parenting one child—you’re parenting a different version of that child every few months. One day, he’s gleefully dancing hip hop at a local dance studio. Six months later, he would rather die than dance in public, and suddenly hates that same song you used to belt out together in the car.
It’s disorienting, exhausting, and often hilarious. And most of all, it’s a masterclass in seeing the world from a perspective that’s wildly different from your own—even when it makes zero logical sense to you.
So yes, I’ve hesitated to compare parenting to leadership. It can feel condescending—no adult wants to feel like they’re being “parented” at work. But the parallels are impossible to ignore. Just like with your kids, the best leaders are the ones who adapt, listen deeply, stay humble, and respond with compassion rather than control.
Here are four parenting lessons I’m (constantly) learning—read: screwing up, reflecting on, and trying again—that translate directly to empathetic leadership:
1. Stay Humble
Your child’s world is not your world. I can try to learn the Gen Z slang. I can try (and fail) to buy the right hoodie or get the TikTok reference. But I will never be “in” his generation. I’m forever a tourist in his cultural landscape. And in his words, I grew up “in dinosaur times.”
Ouch. And also—fair.
Humility is critical here. The moment I get defensive or try to assert authority simply because I’m older or “wiser,” I lose the chance to truly connect. It’s the same with employees. You may have more experience, but that doesn’t mean your view is the only valid one. Ego kills empathy. Empathetic leaders check their assumptions and stay open to learning—from anyone, at any level.
2. Practice Resilience
I used to love a good routine. Consistency was my jam. And then I became a parent.
Plans? Ha. Routines? Temporary. There’s always a new sport, a last-minute sleepover request, a forgotten science project due tomorrow morning. Parenting forces you to improvise constantly. You bend or you break.
The same applies at work. Leadership—especially empathetic leadership—requires emotional agility. You can’t cling to rigid strategies when people’s lives and needs are fluid. You learn to adapt in real time and not take disruption personally. Change isn’t an obstacle—it’s a given. Resilient leaders don’t just survive it, they model how to move through it with grace.
3. Meet Them Where They Are
My son has his own strengths, struggles, and rhythms. I can’t project my goals or pace onto him and expect things to go smoothly. I have to understand what motivates him, what holds him back, and how he best learns and grows. Only then can we work toward something together.
This is leadership in a nutshell. People aren’t blank slates you get to mold into your ideal worker. They bring their personalities, strengths, and limitations. Your job is to tune in, not steamroll. The most effective leaders build trust by meeting people where they are—and helping them thrive from that starting point.
4. Let Go of Control
Here’s one I continue to struggle with, especially as my son gets older: I am not in control. I can set boundaries, offer guidance, and hold space. But ultimately, he’s going to make his own choices, develop his own opinions, and experience his own wins and failures.
Empathetic leaders don’t micromanage or dictate every move. They create a safe environment for people to step into their autonomy. That means trusting your team to find their own voice—even if it means they sometimes fail. Especially then. Because empathy isn’t about protecting people from discomfort; it’s about supporting them through it.
Empathy is a Daily Practice
Empathy in leadership isn’t just about being “nice.” It’s about doing the hard, human work of showing up with curiosity, humility, and flexibility—even when you’re tired or frustrated or just don’t get it. Parenting has been the ultimate mirror for me—a reminder that real empathy isn’t something you master and move on from. It’s something you practice. Over and over and over again.
So whether you’re leading a team or helping a pre-teen navigate a middle school meltdown, remember: you don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to be present, be real, and be willing to grow right alongside them.
Need some upskilling for yourself or your team on how to apply empathy in the workplace in practical ways that lead to results? Let’s chat about your needs and goals, and see if one of my workshops or talks can help transform your team into master collaborators and fearless innovators.
Photo Credit: Surface on Unsplash
