As someone who has dedicated my career to helping leaders infuse empathy into their work, I’m always fascinated by the practical tools that bring this concept to life.
One such tool I’ve known about for quite some time is Empathy Circles—a structured approach to fostering understanding and connection. I first heard about Empathy Circles from Edwin Rutsch and his team at the Center for Building a Culture of Empathy. Edwin and I met when he attended The Empathy Edge book launch party in Berkeley in 2019. He shared how his team has used Empathy Circles at the most divisive political rallies the U.S. has seen in recent years. They set up Empathy Tents at these rallies to get a person from each side of the political spectrum into a tent and facilitate listening to each other. Not to convert, but to LISTEN.
I then attended the group’s intense and rewarding free online training on Empathy Circle facilitation. And wow, was it eye-opening! It was a painful but necessary workout for my active listening muscles and how to withhold judgment to allow someone to be fully heard.
Edwin’s mission is that Empathy Circles become the foundational practice for empathy, just as meditation is for mindfulness.
Recently, I had the chance to speak at one of Edwin’s Empathy Summits where we specifically discussed the Empathy Circle practice. I presented both the pluses and the minuses of leveraging Empathy Circles at work.
You can view the full Summit and speakers here and my 10-minute presentation here.
Empathy circles can be incredibly powerful in the workplace, but they’re not without their limitations.
The Pros and Cons of Empathy Circles in the Workplace
What are Empathy Circles? Picture a safe, supportive environment where team members can share their perspectives and be deeply heard. One person moderates and keeps time. A speaker is given a time limit, say 5 minutes, and chooses a Listener. Remaining members are just silent observers. At periodic intervals, the Listener then reflects back what they heard the person say – without judgment or commentary. The Speaker can then correct or confirm what the Listener stated before continuing. The Listener becomes the next Speaker and so it continues on. The set structure of these circles encourages active listening, reflection, and, most importantly, connection.
See one for yourself right here.
I’ve participated in Empathy Circles myself, and let me tell you—it’s harder than it looks! It requires you to fully focus on someone else’s words without jumping in with advice or counterpoints. It’s a muscle we all need to exercise, especially in the workplace.
My book, The Empathy Dilemma, presents the 5 Pillars of Effective Empathetic Leadership. and how they are supported by curiosity, active listening, withholding judgment, and synthesizing multiple perspectives. Empathy circles directly support these underlying skills. By creating a space for open dialogue, these circles help team members understand each other’s contexts and experiences. This can be transformative for resolving tensions or bridging generational and cultural divides.
However, empathy circles aren’t a one-size-fits-all solution. While they excel at fostering connection, making space for someone to speak their mind, and resolving conflicts, they’re not always the best modality for every leadership need.
For example: You’ve got two people on your team who don’t get along and it’s impacting the work. Get them in a room and facilitate an Empathy Circle so that they can hear each other. Provide that space where people can share their stories, their perspectives, or their feedback, in a safe, supportive environment without interruption or judgment.
Another example: Brainstorming meetings could really benefit from using a structure like an Empathy Circle so that everyone – whether introverted or extroverted – can be heard. Everyone gets equal air time.
Empathy Circles may be less effective in product design meetings where decisions need to be made, or ideas need to be built upon. And perhaps they may not be effective when conducting performance reviews. Why? Because they’re designed to prioritize listening and understanding, not necessarily rapid and additive back-and-forth exchanges or decision-making. For effective feedback loops, leaders need to ask clarifying questions and offer constructive input—something that traditional Empathy Circles don’t always allow.
This brings me to an important point about empathetic leadership: it’s not about being nice or avoiding tough conversations. It’s about showing up with curiosity and courage. Sometimes, that means using tools like Empathy Circles to create a foundation of trust and mutual respect. Other times, it means shifting to a different approach, like open-ended Q&A sessions or iterative feedback mechanisms, to meet specific goals.
One of the biggest barriers to empathy in the workplace is ego. As leaders, we must let go of the need to always be right or have all the answers. Empathy circles are a great exercise in doing just that. They remind us to listen without judgment, ensure we understand the other person, and view others’ experiences as valid, even if they differ from our own.
But let’s not stop there. While Empathy Circles are a valuable tool, they’re just one part of an empathetic leadership toolkit. Leaders can consider other modalities that support innovation, performance, and accountability. And they should never lose sight of the ultimate goal: creating an environment where people feel seen, heard, and valued.
So, where does this leave us? Empathy Circles are a powerful way to practice active listening and resolve conflicts, but they’re not the be-all and end-all. By understanding their strengths and limitations, leaders can use them strategically alongside other tools to build a culture of empathy and high performance.
Please remember: the key to empathetic leadership isn’t perfection; it’s progress. Let’s keep moving forward, one empathetic conversation at a time.
Find or join an Empathy Circle on a topic of your choice to see for yourself.
If you’d like to try an Empathy Circle for your team, please reach out to me. I am trained in effective facilitation and would love to support you in creating stronger connections, building collaboration, and learning how to listen across differences.
Photo credit: Edwin Rutsch, Online Global Empathy Circle Facilitator Training, 2021
