Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Empathy Under Attack: Leading With Heart in Hostile Times

Lately, I’ve been wondering: Is empathy under attack? And if so, how do we as leaders, parents, citizens—humans—continue to lead with empathy in a world that sometimes seems to mock, punish, or politicize it?

So today, I want to pull back the curtain and talk about what it’s like to do this work, and why—despite it all—I continue to fight for empathy at work, in leadership, and in our culture at large.

Let’s dive in.

Empathy in the Crosshairs

In my work as a speaker, strategist, and author, I’ve spent more than a decade specifically championing the business case for empathy – many more decades leveraging it to achieve success for clients and better collaboration with colleagues. I’ve shared research, told stories, and interviewed brilliant minds on this podcast—all to illustrate how empathy is not just nice to have, but essential for high performance, innovation, loyalty, and trust.

And yet… something’s shifted.

In recent years, I’ve noticed more and more leaders—especially those in public life or at the helm of large organizations—start to shy away from empathy. Or worse, to dismiss it as weakness. As “soft.” As irrelevant in an era of AI, economic pressure, and culture wars.

And honestly? It’s disheartening.

Recently, my wonderful colleague Michelle Sherman of VAST Institute, who does work empowering leaders to embrace their true genius and lead a life of purpose to gain dramatic results, emailed me a brilliant piece by Robert Reich on Substack, titled “Trump, Musk, and the empathy bug.” In it, Reich explores how leaders like Donald Trump and Elon Musk are not just lacking in empathy—but almost proud of their detachment. He writes:

“Empathy is the capacity to see the world through the eyes of another and to feel what they feel… But in Trump’s and Musk’s cases, the empathy bug is entirely absent… They don’t even fake empathy. They don’t seem to care if they appear to care.”

He goes on to explain that this performative lack of empathy is actually part of their appeal to followers. That in a chaotic world, cruelty gets mistaken for strength.

And that… hit me hard.

My Empathy Crisis Moment

Here I am, traveling the country, delivering keynotes and workshops on empathetic leadership—and I start to wonder: Am I pushing a boulder uphill?

Every time I say things like, “Empathy boosts performance,” or “Empathy increases customer loyalty,” a small voice inside me whispers, Is anyone still listening?

Reich’s article inspired this thought: When our culture elevates those who mock others, who trade in blame and dehumanization, who treat workers or dissenters or entire communities as disposable—it feels like we’re slipping backward.

And yet—here’s the rub—I also know that millions of people are craving something different.

I hear it in the voices of the audiences I speak to, the leaders and HR professionals I partner with, the CEOs brave enough to ask me, “How do I lead with more heart without losing respect or results?”

So maybe we’re not so much fighting a losing battle, but a fractured one. Where two very different visions of leadership are colliding: domination versus collaboration. Command-and-control versus connection.

Redefining Strength

In The Empathy Edge, I wrote that we need to “rebrand empathy” as a strategic leadership skill. That it’s not about coddling or indulgence—it’s about courage.

And I stand by that.

Because in today’s world, it takes real courage to pause and listen instead of react.

To treat your team like people, not machines.

To sit across from someone who disagrees with you and still see their humanity.

Robert Reich calls empathy the “glue” of society. Without it, he says, we lose the ability to make collective decisions. We lose democracy. We lose decency.

And we cannot afford to lose those things.

So if you’re a leader wondering whether empathy is still relevant—let me assure you: it’s more relevant than ever. But we need to reclaim it. From cynicism. From spin. From weaponization.

We need to stop thinking of empathy as a “nice-to-have,” and start recognizing it as a critical operating system for leadership in the 21st century.

In fact, he further talks about how without empathy, our society just CANNOT WORK: This part of his article is particularly powerful.

“A society depends on people trusting that most others in society will have a modicum of empathy for others rather than take advantage of them. In this way, civic trust is self-enforcing and self-perpetuating, while civic distrust can corrode the very foundations of a society.

Polls tell us that many of today’s Americans worry that the nation is losing its national identity. 

Yet the core of that identity has never been the whiteness of our skin, the uniformity of our ethnicity, or the commonality of our birthplace.

Our core identity as Americans — the most precious legacy we have been given by the generations who came before us — consists of the ideals we share and the obligations we hold in common. We are tied together by these empathic meanings and duties. Our loyalties and attachments, guided by empathy, define who we are.

If we are losing our national identity, it is not because we are becoming blacker or browner or speak in more languages than we once did. It is because we are losing the ties that bind us together, our collective empathy.

Musk and Trump typify what has gone wrong. Their most damaging legacies may be the erosion of the trust and empathy on which our society — any society — depends.”

What You Can Do to Amplify Empathy (Even When It’s Hard)?

So what can you do—right now—as a leader who wants to resist the tide of cruelty?

Here are three small but powerful steps to amplify empathy in our culture:

  1. Model It. You don’t have to be perfect. But when you listen first, admit your mistakes, or show compassion in a tense moment—you show your team that empathy is strength.
  2. Name It. When others dismiss empathy, push back. Gently, firmly. Say, “I think listening to understand is productive.” Or, “I’ve seen empathy increase our results, not weaken them.”
  3. Protect It. Cultivate spaces where empathy is valued—whether that’s your team, your family, or your community. Surround yourself with others who get it.

Because if we don’t protect empathy—who will?

Empathy is not weak. It is not naive. It is not political.

It is what allows us to build trust, resolve conflict, and create workplaces where people—and performance—can thrive.

And as Robert Reich so powerfully reminds us, when leaders lack empathy entirely, they lose touch with the people they claim to serve. They create fear, not loyalty. Silence, not innovation. Chaos, not progress.

I know it’s hard. Some days, I feel like a lone voice shouting into a storm.

But then I remember: I’m not alone. You’re here. Listening. Caring. Trying.

And that gives me hope.

So keep going. Keep leading with empathy—even when it’s unpopular.

Because empathy is not the enemy. It’s the antidote.

If you’re looking for support in building a culture of empathy and performance in your organization, check out what I can do for you. I’d love to help.

Stay kind. Stay courageous. Stay human.

Photo credit: Floris Van Cauwelaert on Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

You’re Asking the Wrong Question

Leaders, Execs: The question is not “How do I strengthen my empathy and build a more empathetic culture?” Because you may not assume you have time, energy, or budget for that. 

The question should INSTEAD be….

🙌 Do I want a team that seamlessly collaborates – and finds joy in that?

💡 Do I want more creative and innovative ideas from every single person on my payroll?

❤️ Do I want my team to execute on tough decisions – even if they don’t fully agree  – because they trust me?

📈 Do I want more constructive performance conversations that energize rather than shame and blame and help them rise to the excellence level we need?

🧠 Do I want all of us to have more well-being and better mental health at work, so we’re energized rather than depleted?

➡️ Do I want to be a leader people will follow over and over again?

😌 Do I want to lead a winning team that drives results—and leave a leadership legacy as the reason they loved the game?

Because to get to YES, you can sharpen your empathy edge and apply it in practical ways to achieve success. As a leader and as a human.

So how about now? Do you have the time and energy to invest in such a performance multiplier?!

Get your free VIP Guest Pass to my next virtual leadership event, The Ultimate Event for Human-Centered Leaders to Balance Empathy and Outstanding Performance. It’s free. It’s powerful. It’s a taste of my full mastermind experience. 

Past attendees found it enlightening and inspiring, and were even able to put some strategies into action immediately with their teams and boards to great results!

But we need to chat first and ensure this is the right room for you! You must be a senior leader or exec with at least 3 direct reports. Industry doesn’t matter (part of the value that past attendees found).

Grab your quick 15-minute call with me to learn more: https://red-slice.com/leadership-workshop/

Photo Credit: Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Even MVP’s Need a Coach: Why Leaders Can’t Go It Alone

I admire my 11-year-old son’s confidence. Truly. But it is funny that he has yet to learn the art of mastery. Of honing, refining, practicing, and getting better.

At 8, he had taken two or three trial Taekwondo classes and then stopped, But if you asked, he would tell you he “knows” Taekwondo. 

To a lesser extreme, no matter our age, we seem to achieve a certain level in our mastery of anything where we assume we are done learning. Whether it’s childhood piano lessons or becoming a C-suite executive, we tend to believe that the journey is over, or we get so busy on doing, we never stop to assess our ability from time to time. And we sometimes believe that “getting by with the basics” is enough to keep us going.

I tell my son, and I’ll share with you, to simply look at elite athletes and how they continue to hone and refine their talent. NO matter how many championships or Gold Medals won. If you’re Steph Curry, Klay Thompson, or Draymond Green (yes, I’m a Golden State Warriors basketball fan, even though Klay has moved to Dallas 😢), you still go to practice every week. You still revisit drills and basics. You still receive coaching and guidance. You still review and dissect game film to fine-tune your play.

No matter your level, you still rely on your coach and team to be your sounding board, sanity check, and truth-tellers.

C-suite and senior executives still have a lot to learn. They are not DONE. Why? Because the workplace, your team, and leadership paradigm shift and evolve, so you must adapt as well. You can always sharpen your skills, have better conversations, recharge your own energy, and experiment with new ways to motivate your team to great results. 

The minute you believe you are done learning as a leader is the minute you will no longer be an effective leader.

Plus, leadership can be really lonely. You are surrounded by less peers within your organization to share the tough stuff and provide support. You may have a really great team dynamic, but your direct reports can’t relate to what you are specifically going through, at your level. They don’t have the same kinds of responsibilities, pressures, and skill gaps you may have.

Finding the right support or peer cohort can help you as a leader:

  • enhance decision-making with new perspectives
  • hold yourself accountable to goals and growth
  • drive sustained leadership success through best practices and fresh ideas\
  • find a space that meets your needs for a change and enables you to be yourself, recharge, refocus, and get a break from daily pressures

Here are 3 ways high-achieving senior leaders can find support and uplevel their leadership skills:

1. Join a Mastermind or Peer Advisory Group

As I wrote in The Empathy Dilemma, almost every single successful leader who is both empathetic and high-performing that I have researched or interviewed engages in either peer support or coaching. It is why this tactic appears a few times in my book to help you strengthen not just your self-awareness pillar, but your self-care pillar. Surrounding yourself with similar high-level peers who have no stake in your work creates a space for honest feedback, idea-sharing, and perspective expansion. Masterminds help break isolation, challenge your thinking, and provide accountability—all crucial for continued growth at the top.

You can find organized associations or seek out a private, curated collective like my Empathy Edge Mastermind. Come get a taste of that if you like in an upcoming 2-day event.

2. Work with an Executive Coach or Mentor

A skilled coach helps uncover unseen gaps, clarify your leadership vision, and navigate tough decisions. Mentors offer real-world wisdom and perspective based on experience in similar roles. Finding a mentor can involve someone more senior than you, a retired professional, or even a successful peer. You want to choose someone who challenges you, not someone who simple agrees with everything you say!

3. Invest in Continuous Learning (Retreats, Courses, Think Tanks)

Executives who intentionally step away to learn, reflect, and reset often return refreshed, sharper, and with innovative ideas to tackle challenges. Find an experience that addresses your interests but also builds a skill set for you, such as emotional intelligence, managing hybrid teams, or future trends. Look for events you can really immerse yourself in and take time away from your daily pressures. Bonus if you can surround yourself with people both in and outside of your industry to gain broader perspectives on best practices. 

If you are looking for a good place to start sharpening your skills, please reach out and let’s talk! Or get a taste of my Empathy Edge Mastermind and see if it aligns with what you need right now.

Photo Credit: Raw Pixel

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Leadership isn’t Pretty. Why you have to Get Messy to Master it!

A recent Crossfit workout really brought home the power of muscle memory. And why constant skills development is required to keep yourself sharp.

My coach gives me some pretty tough workouts. When it pops up on my app or my coach describes in my online class, I always think to myself,“Aw, hell no!” and the negotiations start early. 

I’ll just do 3 rounds instead of 5

Maybe scale down to 6 reps instead of 10? My leg kinda hurts today (note: not really)

You’ve got to be freaking kidding me?!

(Curse words fly)

But I do the first round. And it’s usually pretty ugly. My muscles are tight. The movements feel awkward. I flop around like a dying fish. Definitely not movie montage worthy.

And then I complete one round. And start into the next. And my coach and comrades are all there, we’re cheering each other on. Yes, even when I’m watching the virtual recording, I can feel their hands on my back.

Huh, what’s this? It’s a little teeny bit easier. My body knows now what to expect, what to do next. It’s a little prettier than before, but still tough.My muscle memory starts kicking in OK, maybe this might work. But, seriously, I’m only doing one more round of reps.

Third round, I find the groove. I feel more coordinated, more agile. Is that even a spring in my step? Are those the endorphins kicking in? I feel like I might sorta be an athlete?!

And before I know it, I’ve done the 6 or 8 or 12 rounds I said I could not, would not, do.

Leadership is like this. We’re never “done” learning. Not with the workplace changing so fast. Not with AI, or hybrid workforces (both geographically and between humans and robots). And not with the unique tapestry of each and every team we lead.

Adapting feels uncomfortable. Embracing new models, such as partnering with your team, rather than powering over them, might take a bit more time to master and get the results you want. You might flop around like a dying fish for a while, too.

But that doesn’t mean you stop. It means you keep going, rep by rep, motion by motion. Conversation by conversation.

Yes, you won’t always look pretty. But you have to be honest. Gen Z doesn’t want perfection; they want authenticity (according to the recent Forbes article I just wrote).

And this also means you find your community, your support, your people. The people you can rely on, who will be honest with you, hold you accountable, and help you sharpen your skills. Those who can help you hone your human-centered leadership edge AND STILL demand high performance and hold your boundaries.

Both/And Leadership.

So get sweaty. Don’t be afraid to look messy and uncoordinated. And work through it all with people you trust, those who will elevate you and help you become a better version of yourself. To become the legacy leader you want to be – and that you know you CAN be.

Want to join us on the journey? I’m starting an amazing mastermind to help you become a healthy, human-centered leader who gets results. And leaves a legacy.

Let’s talk about my upcoming 2-day virtual leadership event so you can have a taste. It’s FREE – but not everyone gets in, so let’s have a chat first and see if this aligns with your goals and where you are right now.

Photo Credit: Victor Freitas on Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Empathetic Leadership Lessons From the Ultimate Crash Course: Parenting

Nothing has taught me more about empathy than being a parent. Full stop.

And trust me, I’ve had plenty of training. I’ve studied empathy, coached it, written books about it, and spoken to rooms full of leaders about how to cultivate it. But the real crash course? That came the moment I became “Mom.”

Parenting is empathy bootcamp on steroids. Talk about adapting to different styles: you’re not just parenting one child—you’re parenting a different version of that child every few months. One day, he’s gleefully dancing hip hop at a local dance studio. Six months later, he would rather die than dance in public, and suddenly hates that same song you used to belt out together in the car.

It’s disorienting, exhausting, and often hilarious. And most of all, it’s a masterclass in seeing the world from a perspective that’s wildly different from your own—even when it makes zero logical sense to you.

So yes, I’ve hesitated to compare parenting to leadership. It can feel condescending—no adult wants to feel like they’re being “parented” at work. But the parallels are impossible to ignore. Just like with your kids, the best leaders are the ones who adapt, listen deeply, stay humble, and respond with compassion rather than control.

Here are four parenting lessons I’m (constantly) learning—read: screwing up, reflecting on, and trying again—that translate directly to empathetic leadership:

1. Stay Humble

Your child’s world is not your world. I can try to learn the Gen Z slang. I can try (and fail) to buy the right hoodie or get the TikTok reference. But I will never be “in” his generation. I’m forever a tourist in his cultural landscape. And in his words, I grew up “in dinosaur times.”

Ouch. And also—fair.

Humility is critical here. The moment I get defensive or try to assert authority simply because I’m older or “wiser,” I lose the chance to truly connect. It’s the same with employees. You may have more experience, but that doesn’t mean your view is the only valid one. Ego kills empathy. Empathetic leaders check their assumptions and stay open to learning—from anyone, at any level.

2. Practice Resilience

I used to love a good routine. Consistency was my jam. And then I became a parent.

Plans? Ha. Routines? Temporary. There’s always a new sport, a last-minute sleepover request, a forgotten science project due tomorrow morning. Parenting forces you to improvise constantly. You bend or you break.

The same applies at work. Leadership—especially empathetic leadership—requires emotional agility. You can’t cling to rigid strategies when people’s lives and needs are fluid. You learn to adapt in real time and not take disruption personally. Change isn’t an obstacle—it’s a given. Resilient leaders don’t just survive it, they model how to move through it with grace.

3. Meet Them Where They Are

My son has his own strengths, struggles, and rhythms. I can’t project my goals or pace onto him and expect things to go smoothly. I have to understand what motivates him, what holds him back, and how he best learns and grows. Only then can we work toward something together.

This is leadership in a nutshell. People aren’t blank slates you get to mold into your ideal worker. They bring their personalities, strengths, and limitations. Your job is to tune in, not steamroll. The most effective leaders build trust by meeting people where they are—and helping them thrive from that starting point.

4. Let Go of Control

Here’s one I continue to struggle with, especially as my son gets older: I am not in control. I can set boundaries, offer guidance, and hold space. But ultimately, he’s going to make his own choices, develop his own opinions, and experience his own wins and failures.

Empathetic leaders don’t micromanage or dictate every move. They create a safe environment for people to step into their autonomy. That means trusting your team to find their own voice—even if it means they sometimes fail. Especially then. Because empathy isn’t about protecting people from discomfort; it’s about supporting them through it.

Empathy is a Daily Practice

Empathy in leadership isn’t just about being “nice.” It’s about doing the hard, human work of showing up with curiosity, humility, and flexibility—even when you’re tired or frustrated or just don’t get it. Parenting has been the ultimate mirror for me—a reminder that real empathy isn’t something you master and move on from. It’s something you practice. Over and over and over again.

So whether you’re leading a team or helping a pre-teen navigate a middle school meltdown, remember: you don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to be present, be real, and be willing to grow right alongside them.

Need some upskilling for yourself or your team on how to apply empathy in the workplace in practical ways that lead to results? Let’s chat about your needs and goals, and see if one of my  workshops or talks can help transform your team into master collaborators and fearless innovators.

Photo Credit: Surface on Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Beyond Either/Or: Why Great Leaders Embrace Both/And Thinking

Did you know that human brains are wired to adopt binary thinking for survival? We see things as black and white, right or wrong, so we can quickly assess threats and opportunities.  Like the big wooly mammoth coming at you. Or Mr. Lumberg heading over to ask about your TPS Report.

In reality, we often deal with shades of gray – and those shades differ depending on your own life experiences. Accepting that two seemingly contradictory beliefs are true is known as dialectical thinking – and this vital skill helps you navigate change, balance priorities,  and creatively adapt.

Either/Or leadership will not serve you well as a 21st-century leader. Not when complex challenges require diverse voices to collaborate and innovate together. To quickly build those trusted relationships, we need to embrace BOTH/AND leadership. 

Leadership that balances BOTH the demands of the organization AND the needs of your people. 

Empathetic leadership CAN co-exist with high performance, accountability, profitability, and even having your own clear boundaries. Stud after study shows this. 

But how? 

This balancing act is what I call The Empathy Dilemma.

For example, empathy can co-exist with high performance, accountability, profitability, and clear boundaries. 

Sounds good, right? So why is it so hard to maintain that balance?

See, it gets challenging in the modern fast-paced, stressful workplace because of generational misunderstandings, diverse voices, and those who weaponize empathy to get their way. 

Plus, the fact that most people don’t really understand what empathy means and how it can show up in a professional setting like the workplace just add to the confusion. 

So our brains, which love binary thinking and simple answers, can’t just go on autopilot. Showing up for different people based on their different needs requires effort: how we listen, how we communicate, how we offer support, how we emotionally regulate ourselves. Empathy doesn’t allow us to react impulsively or operate on auto-pilot. So, some leaders simply fall back on what they know: command and control. 

I get it—letting go of the status quo is scary! But being aware of why you fall back on bad habits is the first step to growth and change.

Let’s be clear. Empathy does not have to mean crying on the floor with your employees. Empathy at work means being able to see, understand, and where appropriate, feel another person’s perspective. And further, use that information to act with compassion. To take the next right step together.

Next step? Let’s debunk common empathy myths that might be holding you back from better collaboration and connection with your team:

Empathy is not about being nice. Nice is sweet, and thoughtful, and lovely. But it doesn’t mean you see someone else’s point of view.

Empathy is not caving into unreasonable demands. That’s people pleasing or submission, not empathy. You can make tough business decisions but do so with respect and compassion in HOW you implement and communicate. 

One of my most empathetic leaders actually had to lay off our entire team before a merger. But how he did it made a difference. He gently but clearly broke the news, gave us space to process, prepared in advance for our questions, and provided his time, resources and support to make this easier on us. He’s still a close mentor to this day!

Empathy is not a weakness. It requires great strength to take on someone else’s point of view without defensiveness or fear. You can be confidently empathetic and You can be confidently empathetic, make hard decisions, and hold people accountable.

All at the same time. Both/And.

Finally, empathy does not mean you have to agree. Empathy is about connection, not conversion or coercion. You can have an empathetic conversation, and better understand someone’s context, but still leave with your values intact. You and the CFO may not agree on a strategic plan but you can get curious, actively listen, and acknowledge her perspective. And she can do the same for you. Maybe then you find out he doesn’t support your plan because he has elder parents he cares for and this will require more of his time, or that he implemented a similar plan at his last company and it failed. Or she may reveal a truth you hadn’t considered. You can then learn why the other person sees things the way they do. Get curious, actively listen, and acknowledge why someone thinks the way they do so you can find common ground and move the decision forward. 

Think about how you show up as a leader and ask yourself: Am I choosing my behaviors based on either/or thinking, or can I embrace BOTH/AND thinking to show up in th best way to achieve my goals and support my team?

Photo Credit: Alice Yamamura, Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Empathy in Life AND At Work is Worth Fighting For

The Dalai Lama had a lot to say about business and leadership. Yes, the Dalai Lama.

A few years ago, I read the book A Force for Good: The Dalai Lama’s Vision for Our World  by Daniele Goleman. It was a game changer for me, in terms of marrying values, ethics, and business – with a splash of spirituality.

Imagine a world where compassion is the norm.

This is the world I’m trying to build with my work. 

His Holiness has met with leaders from around the world and has seen how many of them bring purpose and positive energy into their work – and how successful they were as a result. He often talks about self-awareness and self-mastery being the essence of good leadership. And if you are able to be self-aware and have self-mastery, that usually means you are putting your ego aside for something greater than yourself.

When studies like the 2024 Businessolver State of Workplace Empathy report still show that 37% of CEO’s, 30% of HR professionals, and 244% of employees believe empathy doesn’t have a place in the workplace – IMHO that number should be zero – while ALSO claiming higher rates of workplace toxicity and mental health challenges, how are they not putting the two things together?

Business is just another way we humans interact with one another. It’s not outside of ourselves. For many of us, we spend the bulk of our time there. 

How is it possible that some of us still think we have some sort of armor we put on when we clock in, or, like the Apple TV series Severance, that a chip is implanted in us to forget about everything going on in our personal lives when we walk through the office door – and everything about our work life is gone when we take the elevator back up?

Empathy belongs in any place where humans interact with other humans.

When we lose touch with our ability to be compassionate in the face of adversity, challenge or tough decisions, we relinquish our humanity. 

We shouldn’t be required to give up our humanity just to work at an accounting firm, software company, or construction site. We should be able to be whole people wherever we are in the world. However, we move about it, and with whomever we choose to interact. 

There are some pretty awful leadership role models entering our spheres of business, society, and government. There always have been, there always will be It’s easy to say we’re resigned to that. But we cannot go gentle into that goodnight, as poet Dylan Thomas once wrote. Human connection, empathy, and compassion are worth fighting for. And we fight for them not with weapons and screaming, but by embracing those values. By modeling them, celebrating them, and rewarding them in whatever sphere of influence we have. We fight by disproving the false belief that you can’t be empathetic and successful or impactful at the same time.

Only then can we really strengthen the connections that are needed to build community.

We have a mental health crisis in our culture. We are dealing with a loneliness epidemic, toxic masculinity, and oppressive systems that only make room for a few while hurting the many. Society could not be flying a large enough banner across the sky to tell us we need to change something. We need to embrace empathy again.

The Dalai Lama got it. Smart, successful leaders I speak to all the time get it. So I invite you to be part of turning the tide – speak out, and model empathy and compassion whether you’re with your kids, on social media, stuck in traffic, or, yes, at a budget meeting at work.

For further reading: 

3 Observations About Compassion from the Dalai Lama

How Purpose Leads to Company Success

Empathy for Others Starts with Empathy for Yourself 

Photo Credit: Becca Henry Photography

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Brain Injury Recovery: Letting Go of the Past to Accelerate Success

September is Brain Aneurysm Awareness Month. And August 4 was my 16 year “annie-versary” (as they call it) of surviving my own near-fatal brain aneurysm.

So many blessing to be thankful for. So many lessons learned.

In my  memoir Rebooting My Brain, I shared that my own worst obstacle was not about my cognitive deficits or any physical limitations. Not even my impaired eyesight at the time. It came from within ME.

My stubbornness in refusing to change and adapt. 

I kept trying to compare myself to the Old Me, to the baseline that existed before. “But before, I could do ….easier, faster, better! I just need to do it like that again!”

Until a very kind occupational therapist challenged me with tough love, saying, “Forget about what you used to do or how you used to be”  She challenged me to face what was  in front of me right now and figure out new strategies to get to my goals..

Once I stopped clinging to the past and embraced what was now in front of me, I found new ways to achieve my goals  – and I thrived. My progress accelerated.

And this is exactly what I’m seeing leaders doing now, in our post-pandemic workplaces. Leaders refusing to adapt. Leaders clinging to outdate models. Leaders return to what they know out of fear.

What does that look like? 

  • Demanding 5 days a week back in the office
  • Refusing to keep some of the flexibility they offered during the Pandemic
  • Cutting DEIB programs and budgets

And you can probably fill in more examples you’ve seen.

My empathy speaker work is about helping leadering understand how to adapt to the new paradigms of leadership and workplace culture. Once they do, their progress and success will accelerate,  just as it did for me!

However, here’s the plot twist:

Employees, you have agency, too. 

If you are lucky enough to have a leadership team who understands the benefits they get from offering flexibility and a more human-centered workplace,  great. But if you are not, YOU STILL GET TO MAKE A CHOICE. You deal with the new reality before you.

Stop trying to fit a square peg into a round hole – or culture, if you will.

If your organization’s business decisions no longer align with your values or lifestyle, you get to make a decision to adapt. 

The company is showing you who they are. They are allowed to do business however they see fit. Yes, even if it’s short-sighted, limiting, and will hurt them competitively in the long run. 

BU they are not required to change for you. A human-centered workplace does not equal a YOU-centered workplace, unfortunately. The company also has a responsibility to all its employees and customers to run sustainable, with governance and compliance as they see fit. 

So the choice is yours: 

Despite your best efforts to create change where you are, will you continue to defiantly cling to the flexibilities you used to have during the Pandemic. Or will you adapt to the reality before you and chart a new path? Find a new company or role that better aligns with your values and needs?

Once you do, your progress and success will accelerate.

PS, Let’s take a moment to acknowledge that not every worker has the luxury of just leaving an inflexible environment and finding a new job. But if you are able to in your industry or career, it may be time to adapt and move on in order to thrive.

Photo credit: Ankush Minda on Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Empathy and Joy in… Politics?!

Anyone who has had to endure the DMV knows there can often be little joy in government

But a few weeks ago, U.S. Democratic leaders encouraged us to find joy in politics. Yes, POLITICS. The joy in helping others, building a strong country and equitable future. Joy in rolling up our sleeves and getting involved to help our communities and our nation thrive.

I was struck by how often both “empathy” and “joy” were mentioned at the Democratic National Convention, because JOY is the 5th Pillar of The 5 Pillars of Effective and Empathetic Leadership, from my forthcoming new book, The Empathy Dilemma: How Successful Leaders Balance Performance People and Personal Boundaries (Get your copy now!)

It’s not about the work being joyful all the time. It can’t possibly be in any organization (spreadsheets anyone?) But let’s not assume joy contradicts “tackling serious issues” or “getting results.”

The word JOY in politics may rub some the wrong way, especially when many Americans are struggling to pay rent, buy a home, afford prescription drugs, manage multiple jobs, find opportunities, untangle bureaucracy, and protect our rights and bodily autonomy.

But it is in these times where JOY is exactly what a savvy empathetic leader leverages to motivate, engage, and get people thriving. And it’s how you can get the best out of your teams as well, even when the work is difficult.

Creating joyful energy catalyzes ACTION. And ACTION is what enables your organization (or government or country) to succeed so everyone can thrive.

Empathy AND results can co-exist. Both/And. Learn more about why and how in my new book!

Photo Credit: Mike Erskine, Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

What Empathy is and What it is Not

We all agree empathy is a good idea. But not truly understanding what empathy is and what it isn’t gets in our way and causes more harm, burnout, and disconnection.

Empathy is NOT:

  • Being nice
  • Giving in
  • People pleasing
  • Making everybody happy
  • Avoiding hard truths to ensure comfort
  • Unanimous consensus (or satisfaction)
  • Hiding information
  • Doing someone’s work for them

Empathy is:

  • Listening
  • Getting curious
  • Knowing your triggers, strengths, and blindspots (and those of your team!)
  • Take a beat
  • Making space and time
  • Enabling everyone to have a voice as input (even if you make the final call)
  • Transparency in decisions, especially the tough ones
  • Letting go of ego or righteous indignation to see another’s point of view
  • Knowing that good ideas come from anywhere
  • Admitting when we don’t know the answer – and rallying others to bring their ideas forth
  • Having the tough conversation as soon as possible, with grace and respect
  • Making clear decisions…AND
  • …not being afraid to course correct if you’re proven wrong or get new information
  • Seeing the whole person, both inside and outside of work
  • Meeting people where they are
  • Creating moments of joy and levity, even when the work is hard

Empathy is not doing FOR. It’s being WITH.

How does empathy show up in your team or organization?

Photo credit: Desola Lanre-Ologun on Unsplash