Category: a slice of STRATEGY

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What to embrace, what to avoid, and what to attempt — with steady discernment.

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

You Are Your Decisions, Not Your Intentions

Posted on by Red Slice

I have a confession. 

I have a habit, and my husband will absolutely back me up on this, of telling him that I thought about buying him something. I see something, think “oh he would love that,” life gets busy, and the thought never turns into action. And I always say the same thing when he calls me out: “It’s the thought that counts!”

Except it doesn’t. Not really. Not when it comes to the things that actually matter.

Thinking about being a better leader, thinking about creating a more human workplace — none of that counts if it never becomes a decision. A real, firm, committed decision that you then act on. Wanting is not deciding. And deciding without acting is just a slightly more sophisticated form of not doing anything at all.

The Whatabout in the Room

I see you. You are the person in the back of the room at my talks who raises their hand and says “But what about Elon Musk? What about China and how they treat their workers? Those organizations are innovating and finding enormous success. So what do you say to that?”

Yes. There will always be outliers. But study after study, from Google to Gallup to Deloitte, shows that human-centered leadership leads to exponential results, competitive advantage, higher engagement, more innovation, and sustainable long-term success.

You have the information. The question is no longer whether this approach works. The question is what you are going to do with that knowledge. 

What kind of leader do you want to be? What legacy do you want to leave? That is a decision. And it is yours to make.

30 Seconds Between Meetings

A senior leader recently told me that her clarity moment came when she had 30 seconds between back-to-back meetings and had to choose between getting a glass of water or going to the bathroom. She could not do both.

In that moment, she saw the insanity of the machine we have built that chews people up and spits them out, not because it has to, but because we decided to build it that way. And we can decide to build it differently. We cannot wait for some external catalyst. We as leaders need to decide, every single day, what kind of organization we are building and what kind of leader we are being.

You Can’t Wait Until Life Isn’t Hard Anymore

Some of you may remember Nightbirde from America’s Got Talent, who auditioned with an original song despite battling aggressive cancer. When asked how she was doing, she said something that has never left me: “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore to decide to be happy.”

She never made it to the live shows. She passed away not long after. But those words outlived her illness. 

And I think about them constantly when I am tempted to wait for the right moment, the better economy, the less chaotic news cycle, before choosing to show up as the leader I want to be.

The right moment is not coming. This is the moment.

18 More Years

I recently celebrated the 18th anniversary of the day I almost died from a ruptured brain aneurysm. Eighteen years I almost did not get. A son. Spain, Puerto Rico, Costa Rica, Tuscany. Four books, a TEDx talk, a business, taking stages to support leaders. Sixteen more years of marriage. When I reflect on that, I am not just grateful. I am galvanized.

There is no dress rehearsal. We get one life. And what matters most is not what happens to us, but what we decide to do with what we are given.

I know not everyone has the power or privilege to change their situation. Some people are genuinely stuck, and I honor that reality. But plenty of you reading this DO have power within your sphere of influence. More agency than you might be giving yourself credit for.

My Challenge to You

You are more than your intentions. You are your decisions.

Choosing to be an empathetic, legacy-minded, human-centered leader does not happen because you wish it so. It happens because you choose it. Over and over again. Even when it is hard. Especially when it is hard.

What will you decide? How will you show up? Who will you choose to be?

Not someday. Now. Today. In your next meeting. In your next conversation. In the next decision you make about how to treat the people you lead.

You have agency. Use it.

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Why Empathy and Accountability Are Not Opposites — and How They Drive Results

Posted on by Red Slice

Most executives still dismiss empathy as something you have time for when business is good.

That’s backwards.

The organizations that consistently outperform their competitors share one thing: leaders who understand that empathy isn’t the opposite of accountability. It’s what makes accountability stick.

When people feel genuinely seen and understood, they stop protecting themselves and start contributing. They flag problems earlier. They collaborate instead of competing. They stay longer. 

Most leaders get empathy wrong: they treat it as people pleasing, rather than a communication approach or decision-making filter. They focus on sounding empathetic in meetings while creating processes or unconsciously modeling behaviors that appear indifferent.

Real organizational empathy shows up in how you structure feedback, how you design workloads, how you listen to new ideas, how you respond to failure, how you create camaraderie, and how you make tough calls about resources and priorities.

It’s not about being nice. It’s about removing the friction that fear and isolation create.

Research consistently shows the connection: organizations with high-trust, psychologically safe cultures see lower turnover, faster innovation cycles, and stronger financial performance. Not because they avoid tough decisions, but because people execute better when they’re not in constant self-protection mode.

Empathy doesn’t compete with results. It compounds them.

Want to help your leaders and your team embrace the true power of empathy to drive results while avoiding the pitfalls? Let’s discuss your development goals to thrive in these turbulent times and explore whether a talk, workshop, or coaching program is right for you. If I can’t help, I likely know someone who can, so it’s worth a conversation!

Photo Credit: 愚木混株 Yumu on on Unsplash.

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Retention is a Leadership Problem, Not an HR Problem

Posted on by Red Slice

If you’re an HR leader, employee retention probably keeps you up at night. “Quiet quitting,” disengagement, and high turnover are signs that something deeper is off. You might beef up benefits, offer flexible schedules, or increase compensation—and those are helpful—but they don’t address the core issue. Because people don’t leave companies. They leave leaders.

Retention isn’t just an HR issue—it’s a leadership issue.

The True Cost of Losing Talent

Replacing a single employee can cost 50% to 200% of their salary once you factor in recruiting, onboarding, and lost productivity. High turnover damages morale, slows innovation, and sends warning signals to top performers: What leader wants to spend their time constantly onboarding new people, losing that momentum, and starting from ground zero over and over again? This is not a good use of your leaders’ time. Their time should be spent on listening, cultivating, mentoring, removing barriers, and upskilling the teams they have to optimize them for higher performance.

Why People Leave Leadership — Not the Organization

There is not enough pay in the world that can make it worth it to stay in a soul-sucking job where you live in ear, stress, and anxiety all the time. Studies consistently show the number one reason employees leave isn’t pay—it’s poor leadership. Lack of clarity, weak communication, and leaders who are not emotionally aware or empathetic drive people away. Who wants to spend 8 or 20 hours a day with people like that?!

Many managers are promoted because of technical skill—not emotional intelligence. They lack training in how to lead with empathy and accountability. The consequence: either rigid command-and-control, or unchecked empathy that undermines performance.

Empathy as a Strategic Leadership Skill

Empathy isn’t about being soft. It’s about connection, trust, psychological safety. Empathetic leaders listen, allow vulnerability, and create space for people to bring their whole selves to work.

Empathy is more essential than ever, even when external pressures to cast it aside feel intense right now. 

It is not a mere nice-to-have—it’s essential for culture, leadership, and well-being. And you need to cultivate in the easy times so you can lean on that earned trust when the going gets tough. It’s an investment so that in clutch times, your teams know you are asking for a good reason.

Accountability: The Other Half of the Equation

Empathy without accountability is like steering a ship without a rudder: lots of compassionate intention, little forward motion. Leaders who avoid hard conversations, don’t set clear expectations, or blur boundaries create environments where high standards slip and frustrations mount.

The key is both/and leadership: empathy and accountability. You can care deeply about people while also holding them—and yourself—to high standards.

What HR Leaders Can Do Now

Here’s a strategy playbook for HR and leadership teams to start closing the retention gap:

  1. Redefine Leadership Competencies
    Include emotional intelligence, empathy, and communication in leadership promotion criteria.
  2. Invest in Continuous Development & Coaching
    Leadership workshops are good—but they don’t stick without follow-through. Coaching, peer learning, ongoing feedback are essential. Even MVP’s can’t go it alone, no matter how experienced they are. Never stop learning or you’ll be come irrelevant! 
  1. Integrate Metrics That Matter
    Track retention, engagement, psychological safety—not just productivity. Make those part of how you evaluate leaders. Empathy in and of itself is not the end metric. Empathy is the seasoning you add to more effectively achieve your business objectives.
  2. Model Empathy & Boundaries From the Top: When executives show vulnerability, set clear goals, and maintain standards, it signals to the entire organization what leadership looks like. Be the model of success because your actions speak louder than words.

Retention as an Organizational Advantage

In this era of constant change—hybrid work, globalization, shifting generational values—building cultures that retain talent is one of the few sustainable competitive advantages remaining.

Per my research and podcast discussions (for example, this one), leading with clarity, empathy, and accountability is what separates organizations that thrive from those that merely survive. 

Bottom line: HR leaders—you’re powerful changemakers. Ensure your leadership development curriculum emphasizes both empathy and accountability. 

Do that well, and retention in times of rapid change and stress becomes not a program you launch, but a culture you live.

Photo credit: Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash

Sources:

  • Gallup (2019). This Fixable Problem Costs U.S. Businesses $1 Trillion.
  • Gallup (2021). The Power of Empathy in Leadership.
  • McKinsey & Company (2022). The Great Attrition: Why Employees Are Leaving and What to Do About It.

SHRM (2022). The Cost of Turnover.

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

What’s Next For Empathy and Inclusion in the Workplace?

Posted on by Red Slice

The state of workplace empathy and inclusion is shifting—and not always in ways that feel encouraging. In these times of challenge and change, connection and community matter more than ever.

Recently, I had the pleasure of co-hosting a powerful and heartfelt webinar with my friend, colleague Minette Norman titled “What’s Next: The Future of Empathy and Inclusion in the Workplace.” MInette is the co-author of The Psychological Safety Handbook and author of The Boldly Inclusive Leader.  

Our goal? To create a space for real talk—a place to share our goals, fears, and hopes for what lies ahead in the realm of empathy, diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) at work.

And wow, did this group deliver.

We welcomed a vibrant mix of HR and DEI leaders who shared their honest experiences—especially around the emotional toll of DEI work today. Solopreneurs and in-house champions alike are feeling the fatigue, resistance, and, in some cases, the backlash. 

But what shone through was a shared commitment to continue pushing forward together.

DEI: The Business Case and the Human Case

We talked about how some companies are rebranding DEI efforts to sidestep political scrutiny, rather than abandoning them altogether because the work still drives the business forward and helps it compete and win. This presents both a challenge and an opportunity. Minette wisely noted that many of these shifts are knee-jerk reactions to the current climate—and like any trend, they may settle with time.

Our conversation emphasized the business case for DEI, which continues to be strong. Diverse and inclusive workplaces drive revenue, innovation, and performance. And beyond numbers, DEI is about creating environments where every person feels valued and heard.

Empathy Is Not Weakness—It’s Leadership

I, of course, shared how empathy is often misunderstood as soft, emotional, or weak. See previous Hot Takes on my candid thoughts about the false rhetoric being tossed around! Let me be clear: empathy in leadership is not about conversion—it’s about connection. It’s about seeing and valuing different perspectives to make better decisions and build stronger relationships. It requires strength and self-confidence.

Empathy fuels engagement, retention, and innovation. Leaders who model, celebrate, and reward empathy cultivate workplaces where inclusion thrives—and that benefits everyone, not just those from underrepresented groups.

Dealing with Resistance and “Empathy Teachers”

Not everyone we encounter in our work is empathetic—and that can be draining. One participant raised a valid point about the emotional labor required to deal with those who lack empathy. I shared that self-awareness and self-care are essential tools to protect our energy.

Minette introduced a beautiful idea: seeing unempathetic individuals as “empathy teachers”—people who test and ultimately strengthen our own empathy muscles. This mindset shift doesn’t excuse bad behavior but reminds us of the power we have in how we respond.

The Power of Diverse Thinking

I shared a story about using an empathy toy with various teams, which illuminated the power of diverse thinking and how easy it is to miss key insights when we don’t listen to different perspectives. Minette added that a simple question—“What are we missing?”—can transform a team’s approach and reveal blind spots.

Practical Tools for Inclusion

We also discussed inclusive meetings—a tangible way to ensure every voice is heard. From rebranding DEI work as “belonging” to providing resources for empathetic meeting facilitation, we focused on actionable steps leaders can take to embed inclusion into everyday interactions.

Final Thoughts: Building Community in Tough Times

We ended the session reflecting on the power of community. These conversations are more than just check-ins—they’re reminders that we’re not alone in this work. They’re moments to recharge, refocus, and reignite our purpose.

Both MInette and I – and many others like us – are continuing to provide resources, support, and opportunities to connect. Because empathy and inclusion aren’t just workplace trends—they’re leadership imperatives for the future.

If you’re ready to lead with empathy and make inclusion a reality in your organization, let’s deliver a powerful and dynamic keynote or leadership workshop to your teams. Learn more on my empathy speaker page and contact me ASAP to talk through your goals and see what’s possible.

Photo Credit: Jason Leung, Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Empathy in Life AND At Work is Worth Fighting For

Posted on by Red Slice

The Dalai Lama had a lot to say about business and leadership. Yes, the Dalai Lama.

A few years ago, I read the book A Force for Good: The Dalai Lama’s Vision for Our World  by Daniele Goleman. It was a game changer for me, in terms of marrying values, ethics, and business – with a splash of spirituality.

Imagine a world where compassion is the norm.

This is the world I’m trying to build with my work. 

His Holiness has met with leaders from around the world and has seen how many of them bring purpose and positive energy into their work – and how successful they were as a result. He often talks about self-awareness and self-mastery being the essence of good leadership. And if you are able to be self-aware and have self-mastery, that usually means you are putting your ego aside for something greater than yourself.

When studies like the 2024 Businessolver State of Workplace Empathy report still show that 37% of CEO’s, 30% of HR professionals, and 244% of employees believe empathy doesn’t have a place in the workplace – IMHO that number should be zero – while ALSO claiming higher rates of workplace toxicity and mental health challenges, how are they not putting the two things together?

Business is just another way we humans interact with one another. It’s not outside of ourselves. For many of us, we spend the bulk of our time there. 

How is it possible that some of us still think we have some sort of armor we put on when we clock in, or, like the Apple TV series Severance, that a chip is implanted in us to forget about everything going on in our personal lives when we walk through the office door – and everything about our work life is gone when we take the elevator back up?

Empathy belongs in any place where humans interact with other humans.

When we lose touch with our ability to be compassionate in the face of adversity, challenge or tough decisions, we relinquish our humanity. 

We shouldn’t be required to give up our humanity just to work at an accounting firm, software company, or construction site. We should be able to be whole people wherever we are in the world. However, we move about it, and with whomever we choose to interact. 

There are some pretty awful leadership role models entering our spheres of business, society, and government. There always have been, there always will be It’s easy to say we’re resigned to that. But we cannot go gentle into that goodnight, as poet Dylan Thomas once wrote. Human connection, empathy, and compassion are worth fighting for. And we fight for them not with weapons and screaming, but by embracing those values. By modeling them, celebrating them, and rewarding them in whatever sphere of influence we have. We fight by disproving the false belief that you can’t be empathetic and successful or impactful at the same time.

Only then can we really strengthen the connections that are needed to build community.

We have a mental health crisis in our culture. We are dealing with a loneliness epidemic, toxic masculinity, and oppressive systems that only make room for a few while hurting the many. Society could not be flying a large enough banner across the sky to tell us we need to change something. We need to embrace empathy again.

The Dalai Lama got it. Smart, successful leaders I speak to all the time get it. So I invite you to be part of turning the tide – speak out, and model empathy and compassion whether you’re with your kids, on social media, stuck in traffic, or, yes, at a budget meeting at work.

For further reading: 

3 Observations About Compassion from the Dalai Lama

How Purpose Leads to Company Success

Empathy for Others Starts with Empathy for Yourself 

Photo Credit: Becca Henry Photography

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

3 Tips To Practice Self Care By Listening To Your Body

Posted on by Red Slice

Today’s post is adapted from a 2014 article I wrote for Huffington Post. It holds more true than ever as we discuss Self-Care as the second Pillar of Effective Empathetic leadership from my new book, The Empathy Dilemma.

Confession time.

In 2008, shortly before I suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm that almost killed me, my life was a giant stress ball. My husband and I had just moved to a new city, bought our first house, adopted a dog,…and I started my own business.

Usually resilient to change, even this was a bit much for me. But with a smile plastered to my face, I was trying to – like most women today – “do it all:” yoga, connecting with friends, exercise, relationship time, pursuing my writing and acting passions, making my business successful. It was crazy town.

No one was pushing me. Just me, putting all that pressure on myself to “live my best life” (sound familiar?)

Well, I’m here to tell you that trying to live my “best life” almost killed me.

Exhausted, stressed-out, and frantic, I craved that the chaotic ride would stop for a bit and let me get off. Ever felt like that?

One day, I remember thinking, “If I got sick – not majorly ill, just like strep throat or something – I could take a small break and get some rest. If I was really sick, no one would judge me and I’d have a legit excuse to just slow down and sleep.”

It was as if that one little thought was all the permission my body needed. Sudden mutiny. Enter massive migraine and ultimately, a life-threatening brain aneurysm rupture.

My twisted wish came true. Not only did I get six weeks in a hospital bed (most completely wiped from my memory), but I had months of rehab, therapy and learning how to work in a whole new way.

My relentless schedule? Wiped clean. Ahhhhh…relief.

How ridiculous is that?

Why do we “modern women”  – and men, for that matter – feel it’s taboo to just step back, rest, and regroup from our overloaded work and lives? Why aren’t we allowed to pause for no other reason than our bodies simply need it?

Maybe we believe others will think we’re lazy. Or lack ambition. Or that we’re not committed to our work/business/children/volunteer group.

The thing is, the body knows way before we do when it needs a break. And we as a culture need to start listening. We need to encourage “no-excuse” breaks, mental health days and most of all, saying “no.”

My good friend Jamie Greenwood is a coach who helps women come home to their bodies so they can live a richer life. We’ve had many talks about why people, especially women, feel they are not entitled to just “step away” and breathe when their body is crying out with tight muscles, headaches, fatigue – or worse, more serious health disorders.

Jamie explains:

Somewhere, at some point, most of us women got it into our heads that we had to suck it up. We’re non-complaining, get-it-done types of girls and see our power as being able to take all kinds of hits and keep going. But that drive numbs us from what’s really going on. Our striving clouds the fact that our bodies are on the brink and cannot take the pace we are pushing. We must redefine strength. Strength is not telling your body to ‘suck it up’ for the hundredth time but rather stepping out of the ‘doing’ stream for a moment’s rest.

So where do we start when we know it’s time to slow and listen to our bodies before they go on strike with ulcerative colitis, adrenal fatigue or heaven forbid a brain aneurysm? According to Jamie, we start right here:

Three Tips for Listening to Your Body When It Needs a Break

1. Know that everything is going to be okay. Yep. It’s true. Though you think the world will come crashing down if you step back for a quick breath I can promise you it won’t. When my brain aneurysm left me lying in ICU unconscious, I missed meetings, left a client in the lurch and even missed a hair appointment. (Gasp!) People adapted. The sky didn’t fall. Jamie shares, “What I’ve seen is that when my women have the strength to take a break, they come back rejuvenated and with more creative juice that they’ve had in years. When you get scared of stepping off the speeding train, wrap yourself up tight in a warm blanket or in the arms of a loved one and repeat, ‘I know in my body, everything is going to be okay.'”

2. Let your body speak. Often when Jamie asks her clients what their body is trying to say they are at a loss for words. “We never consider our body to be a living, breathing, spirited being that has just as many opinions as your brain. The problem is that we aren’t trained to listen to its language. The brain speaks to us in words, which we listen to wholeheartedly and love to think are true. (Caution, never believe everything you think! It’s crafty and can deceive you) The body, however, speaks to us through truthful sensations that, as we mature, we try hard to ignore. We mask our tiredness with coffee, pop aspiring for our headaches and convince ourselves our digestive troubles “aren’t that bad.” Everything you feel is your body speaking to you. Take a moment and listen to the sensations and ask, “Hey, friend. What are you trying to say?”

3. Find your courage. This is not easy. I repeat, this is not easy. Giving yourself permission to step back and recalibrate towards something that feels good for both your body and your life is terrifying. It can also seem really wacky. Not normal. We wonder, What will people think of me?! “Many of us have only ever considered what we thought our brains wanted, not what our bodies want,” Jamie says. “The thing is, you know it’s time. And think about what ‘normal’ has gotten you. A gnawing sensation in your gut, restless, fitful nights and constant fear that you’ll never get it all done and are running out of time. Your body is telling you that now is the time. Have the courage to answer them with a yes.”

Photo credit: Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash 

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Brain Injury Recovery: Letting Go of the Past to Accelerate Success

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September is Brain Aneurysm Awareness Month. And August 4 was my 16 year “annie-versary” (as they call it) of surviving my own near-fatal brain aneurysm.

So many blessing to be thankful for. So many lessons learned.

In my  memoir Rebooting My Brain, I shared that my own worst obstacle was not about my cognitive deficits or any physical limitations. Not even my impaired eyesight at the time. It came from within ME.

My stubbornness in refusing to change and adapt. 

I kept trying to compare myself to the Old Me, to the baseline that existed before. “But before, I could do ….easier, faster, better! I just need to do it like that again!”

Until a very kind occupational therapist challenged me with tough love, saying, “Forget about what you used to do or how you used to be”  She challenged me to face what was  in front of me right now and figure out new strategies to get to my goals..

Once I stopped clinging to the past and embraced what was now in front of me, I found new ways to achieve my goals  – and I thrived. My progress accelerated.

And this is exactly what I’m seeing leaders doing now, in our post-pandemic workplaces. Leaders refusing to adapt. Leaders clinging to outdate models. Leaders return to what they know out of fear.

What does that look like? 

  • Demanding 5 days a week back in the office
  • Refusing to keep some of the flexibility they offered during the Pandemic
  • Cutting DEIB programs and budgets

And you can probably fill in more examples you’ve seen.

My empathy speaker work is about helping leadering understand how to adapt to the new paradigms of leadership and workplace culture. Once they do, their progress and success will accelerate,  just as it did for me!

However, here’s the plot twist:

Employees, you have agency, too. 

If you are lucky enough to have a leadership team who understands the benefits they get from offering flexibility and a more human-centered workplace,  great. But if you are not, YOU STILL GET TO MAKE A CHOICE. You deal with the new reality before you.

Stop trying to fit a square peg into a round hole – or culture, if you will.

If your organization’s business decisions no longer align with your values or lifestyle, you get to make a decision to adapt. 

The company is showing you who they are. They are allowed to do business however they see fit. Yes, even if it’s short-sighted, limiting, and will hurt them competitively in the long run. 

BU they are not required to change for you. A human-centered workplace does not equal a YOU-centered workplace, unfortunately. The company also has a responsibility to all its employees and customers to run sustainable, with governance and compliance as they see fit. 

So the choice is yours: 

Despite your best efforts to create change where you are, will you continue to defiantly cling to the flexibilities you used to have during the Pandemic. Or will you adapt to the reality before you and chart a new path? Find a new company or role that better aligns with your values and needs?

Once you do, your progress and success will accelerate.

PS, Let’s take a moment to acknowledge that not every worker has the luxury of just leaving an inflexible environment and finding a new job. But if you are able to in your industry or career, it may be time to adapt and move on in order to thrive.

Photo credit: Ankush Minda on Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

How to Measure Empathy

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How can you measure empathy? This is the business question, isn’t it?

Truth is: it’s difficult. But it’s achievable, or we wouldn’t see so much data around the benefits of empathetic leadership and culture on performance, engagement, innovation, and revenue!

We CAN measure outcomes of empathetic leadership and culture, if we carefully calibrate what we mean by it and where we want it to lead. 

Here’s how you can “measure”empathy within your own organization:

1. Collectively define what empathy means – and give examples of the behavior you seek: Let’s get on the same page, as every organization is unique. What does your culture mean by empathy? Perhaps you use a different word for it, like service or kindness (even though empathy and kindness re not the same thing, but that’s another conversation!). AND what it looks like in action? Give concrete examples. Guide people to recognize it when they see it. 

2. Determine the outcomes you want to achieve through empathy: Are you specifically looking to increase employee engagement? Boost customer satisfaction scores and referrals? Encourage more innovation and creativity within the ranks? Know what you want an empathetic culture or leader to do for your organization. 

3. Invest in a a few targeted programs to increase empathy, in the way you’ve defined it: This doesn’t have to be a huge transformation project. Adopt design thinking and test and measure. Do we want to reskill our customer service or sales reps to be more curious and actively listen? Do we want to create more open and honest communication internally? Do we want to publicly celebrate risk and failure as a way to encourage new ideas? Do we want to train our leaders on how to balance empathy and accountability and measure the results over time?

4. Measure the OUTCOMES of empathy: Now that you know your goals, and the programs you will put in place to achieve them, measure the impact. Through employee surveys or candid Town Halls. Through customer follow up and feedback. Through looking at retention and promotion rates. Through debriefing on how many new innovations the team came up with this quarter or year.

Just because a skill or trait is less analytical and concrete doesn’t let you off the hook from measuring the impact of those investments on the outcomes you hope to achieve.

How do you define and measure empathy and it’s impact in your own organization? How would you LIKE tWant some support to audit your culture and leadership and implement programs to support your leaders and teams? Let’s talk! 

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

You Are a Hot Mess AND a Masterpiece

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“You can be a hot mess and a masterpiece at the same time.”  Hannah Corbin, Peloton.

A few months ago, Hannah Corbin uttered these words on a Peloton ride, and they stopped me in my tracks. Metaphorically, of course. I kept pedaling.

I can’t recall the context but I think it was about letting yourself “get ugly” in order to grow. No one looks their best when they are red-faced, dripping with sweat, and struggling to cycle up a steep hill. And yet – doing so, helps you chip away at the work of art that lies beneath. 

That when you try, fail, get up again, strain, get uncomfortable, get scared, yet keep moving forward, you are working toward becoming your own masterpiece. 

AND not just working toward it. You already are a masterpiece.

It felt like she saw me. I feel like a hot mess most days, while I’m striving to be a masterpiece, a better person. It sometimes feels like everyone else has it together but me.

But we’re never just one thing or the other, are we? We can be two opposing things at the very same time. We can be striving and struggling while still being the best version of ourselves. 

That’s the journey we’re all on, whether you’re hopping on a Peloton bike, or trying to be a better parent, or seeking to coach and inspire your team with empathy. It’s a process. And just because you’re not at your ideal goal (which is fictitious anyway), doesn’t mean you are not both a hot mess in progress and closer to your destination.

And it also doesn’t mean you don’t have impact along the way, either. 

Even if you don’t believe you have perfected being an empathetic leader, human, or parent, it doesn’t mean you are not impacting lives yet. YOU ARE.  You are making incremental differences and changes. People notice when you see, hear, and value them. They are affected by your grace and compassion. They are moved to perform, deliver, innovate, and start their own journey to being more empathetic.

Don’t give up or assume it’s perfection or nothing. Just making the attempt day after day means you are a masterpiece. And if you are stumbling along while you do it, that’s okay, too. Both/And.

Photo credit: Ave Calvar, Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Are You Outsourcing Empathy in Your Organization?

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My 9-year-old son recently left a note on his dirty breakfast dishes:

Can u pls take care of this ☹️Thanks

The fact you must know is that he placed the dishes on the counter right above the dishwasher. The ultimate in lazy maneuvers. I mean, writing the note took him longer than putting the dishes away!

While this provided a great laugh over on social media, it got me thinking about the primal nature of laziness and how it shows up in our organizations.

We see laziness as the customer service rep who can’t be bothered to listen to your real issue and look into possible options.  It’s just easier to tell you nothing can be done.

We see it in the leader who claims that adopting a more empathetic approach is too hard and takes too much time and then falls back on the old ways of doing things. Which are dying, BTW.

We see it in the colleague who decides getting to know other team members is a “waste of time” and forgets the importance of building relationships and connections in order to get things done.

So that is the answer?  Here are some options leaders like to think they have:

  • We outsource empathy to HR
  • We outsource empathy (hopefully) to AI
  • We strengthen the muscle ourselves

Let’s parse these out:

Trying to outsource empathy to HR is like a parent trying to outsource love to their child’s teacher. It doesn’t make any sense. Do they outsource kindness, courage, and effective communication? The point of empathetic leadership is that your team members know you, their leader, have their backs and see, hear, and value them. That is the only way for you to reap the benefits of empathy, including increased engagement, performance, loyalty, and creativity. It needs to be woven into the way we interact with each other. It’s not a need I “go to” someone else to fulfill.

Trying to outsource empathy AI is trickier. There are empathic AI technologies available that are helping organizations strapped for resources or staffing to provide individualized guidance and interactions in industries such as healthcare, higher ed, and finance. But the organization’s leaders have to strengthen their own empathy in order to build it into the AI models and ensure the holistic customer experience is consistent and engaging. 

Strengthening your own empathy is the smart choice. Just like going to the gym, you can build that innate human muscle if it has atrophied. You just need to put in the reps.  This is why I wrote The Empathy Edge and speak at leadership trainings, keynotes, and customer events. To clarify what empathy looks like at work (and what it is most certainly NOT), and give you actionable tips to strengthen your empathy. The results may not be immediate (who gets six-pack abs on the first day at the gym?) but over time, this is the more sustainable option that you will carry with you to great success, no matter what team you’re leading or what role you are in.

If you’re tempted to outsource empathy, please think about the reason why.

Are you too scared or feel too vulnerable to connect with your people or customers with empathy? If so, you may need to do some work on your own strengths and blind spots. And what causes that fear. Is it insecurity, defensiveness, low self-esteem?

Are you strapped for time and overwhelmed? If so, perhaps prioritization is the issue and an understanding that the work of leading IS connecting and engaging with your people. If you don’t have time for that, you may need to reassess how you spend your time. 

Do you think machines can “do it better?“ If so, who is teaching these machines? Where are the inputs coming from? And what happens when people interacting with AI dip in and out of workflow between humans and machines? We abhor inconsistency. That seems like a big risk you don’t need to take that could have catastrophic implications on your customer or employee experience. And also, no, to the question above. Empathy is an essential human trait about human connection. Machines will never be able to fully replicate it, even if they are able to imitate it in some scenarios.

Empathy is the most important leadership skill going into the 21st century. You can definitely augment empathy by shoring up your HR team and investing in empathic AI solutions. But you don’t want to outsource it without building it yourself because if you really believe that is possible, then you’re making yourself obsolete.

Photo Credit: Maria Ross