What if We Fueled Action with Love and Not Anger?

So much of what’s happening in the world right now is fueled by hate. Division. Us against them. And sadly, some of us are only moved to action when we get angry. Our blood boils, our pulse quickens, and we step into fight mode.

Rage can be a good thing if it fuels progress. And Lord knows marketers use fear, uncertainty and doubt all the time to drive people to purchase. 

But does it always have to be that way?

I’ve been reading Bell Hooks’ book All About Love: New Visions, and man, it’s impacting my heart. Hard. It has caused me to question my very definition of love in a gentle, quiet way. Her writing is beautiful, provocative, thoughtful and concise. I wish I could write like that!

A recent chapter got me thinking: What if we strive for change, social justice, human rights, and equity with love not anger? Can love be enough to kick us into action just as much as anger and fear? What if we genuinely loved our enemies, those we fear, the liars, the charlatans, the power-hungry AND still took action? Could that be enough to catalyze massive change?

I’m not talking about being passive or sitting idly by. I’m talking about taking fierce action fueled by love, not anger and pain. When we are angry, we’re so tight, scrunched up, erratic. Could we get further – and be gentler to our own psyches – if we approached social change from love, not hate? Could we listen better, persuade better, and surprise those selfish children in front of us enough with our response that their own fears and facades crumble when faced with our tenacity  – and leave them sobbing in our arms? 

Could we be more powerful if we met tyranny and hate with love-fueled action rather than anger-fueled action? What if?. (TWEET THIS!)

Do you see this possibility or think it naive? Eager to hear your thoughts on this. DM me on Instagram!

How to be a better negotiator 

Nice guys and gals finish last. 

That has been the conventional wisdom, hasn’t it? That only sharks using cutthroat tactics can make favorable deals and negotiate effectively. 

I’m calling BS.  

Turns out, empathy is a secret weapon when it comes to negotiation and effective collaboration. And author, activist and strategic consultant Elisa Camahort Page shared with me how she learned this powerful lesson from an unlikely source: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 

 Elisa knows how to successfully get what she wants, so of course, I had to sit down and talk with her about how empathy helps you negotiate deals that are mutually beneficial for both parties. 

Elisa is known as co-founder and COO of women’s media company, BlogHer. After the successful sale of that powerhouse brand, she’s now focused on speaking, writing and consulting with entrepreneurs and organizations. She co-wrote Roadmap for Revolutionaries: Resistance, Activism and Advocacy For All, a resource guide to activating around causes you care most about, which features contributions and/or endorsements by diverse activists and advocates such as Gloria Steinem,  Guy Kawasaki, Soledad O’Brien and Senator Kirsten Gellibrand (get it – it’s empowering!) 

Elisa’s thinking on this topic was triggered by an episode of her favorite cult classic TV show, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If you’re not familiar with it, she gives us a quick overview. 

So many things I think you’ll love about this energetic interview, especially: 

YouTube video

Highlights include: 

*Why Buffy the Vampire Slayer is rich with lessons in leadership and collaboration (2:23) 
*How innovators can learn to see unintended consequences and “take responsibility for the magic you create” (12:15) 
*What BlogHer taught her about mutually beneficial relationships (13:30) 
*Three things to look for in healthy relationships…and three things that can destroy partnerships (14:21) 
*Why we need to compromise and prioritize (18:30)  
*How to think about inclusivity when marketing and storytelling (20:30)  
* The easiest way to get to what someone really wants (28:21) 

Too many great Tweetables from Elisaso I’m giving you my faves! 

“Innovation + Empathy > Innovation + Efficiency” (TWEET THIS!)

“Instead of thinking about negotiation as a war, think about it as party planning. What pieces do you need in place to get this party started?” (TWEET THIS!)

“You can’t develop a bigger audience and community until you develop empathy for the people you want there” (TWEET THIS!)

Learn more about Elisa Camahort Page’s speaking and writing on her website  
Follow #RoadMap4Revs for info about the book, Roadmap for Revolutionaries 
Check out her new consulting firm, Ternstyle Group 
Discover her work with Mentor Bureau 
Connect with her on Medium, Facebook, or Twitter @elisacp