Today’s episode is a little more personal. A reflection. A struggle.
Because lately, I’ve been wondering: Is empathy under attack? And if so, how do we as leaders, parents, citizens—and humans—continue to lead with empathy in a world that sometimes seems to mock, punish, or politicize it?
So today, I want to pull back the curtain and talk about what it’s like to do this work, and why—despite it all—I continue to fight for empathy at work, in leadership, and our culture at large.
Let’s dive in.
To access the episode transcript, please scroll down below.
Key Takeaways:
- In a chaotic world, cruelty often gets mistaken for strength.
- Empathy is not about coddling and indulgence but about the courage to pause and listen, not to react.
- Three small but powerful steps to resist the tide of cruelty and amplify empathy instead: model it, name it, protect it.
Empathy is not weak, naive, or political. It is what allows us to build trust, resolve conflict, and create workplaces where people—and performance—can thrive. – Maria Ross
Episode References:
- FREE upcoming 2-day virtual leadership event with me! Let’s have a chat first and see if this aligns with your goals and where you are right now. Visit www.TheEmpathyEdge.com/event to sign up for a time.
- Robert Reich’s Substack article, ”Trump, Musk, and The Empathy Bug”: https://robertreich.substack.com/p/trump-musk-and-the-empathy-bug
- Listener Feedback! Please fill out the short survey here at https://bit.ly/edge-feedback
Connect with Maria:
Get Maria’s books on empathy: Red-Slice.com/books
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Hire Maria to speak: Red-Slice.com/Speaker-Maria-Ross
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FULL TRANSCRIPT:
Welcome to the empathy edge podcast, the show that proves why cash flow, creativity and compassion are not mutually exclusive. I’m your host, Maria Ross, I’m a speaker, author, mom, facilitator and empathy advocate. And here you’ll meet trailblazing leaders and executives, authors and experts who embrace empathy to achieve radical success. We discuss all facets of empathy, from trends and research to the future of work to how to heal societal divisions and collaborate more effectively. Our goal is to redefine success and prove that empathy isn’t just good for society. It’s great for business. Hi, it’s Maria here for another monthly hot take. Today’s episode is a little more personal. It’s a reflection and a struggle, really, because lately I’ve been wondering, and I’ve been seeing, is empathy under attack, and if so, how do we as leaders, parents, citizens, humans, continue to lead with empathy in a world that sometimes seems to mock punish or politicize it? So today, I want to pull back the curtain and talk about what it’s like to do this work and why, despite it all, I continue to fight for empathy at work, in leadership and in our culture at large. So let’s dive in. In my work as a speaker, strategist and author, I’ve spent more than a decade specifically championing that’s a hard word to say, the business case for empathy, and many more decades leveraging it to achieve success for clients and better collaboration with colleagues. Now I’ve shared research, told stories and interviewed brilliant minds on this very podcast, all to illustrate how empathy is not just nice to have, but essential for high performance, innovation, loyalty and trust, and yet, something’s shifted in recent years. I’ve noticed, I’m sure you’ve noticed, more and more leaders, especially those in public life or at the helm of large organizations, start to shy away from empathy, or worse, to dismiss it as weakness, as soft, as irrelevant in an era of AI economic pressure and culture wars. And honestly, it’s disheartening. Recently, my wonderful colleague Michelle Sherman of vast Institute, who does work empowering leaders to embrace their true genius and lead a life of purpose to gain dramatic results, she emailed me a brilliant piece by Robert Reich on substack titled Trump musk and the empathy bug in it. Reich explores how leaders like Donald Trump and Elon Musk are not just lacking in empathy, but almost proud of their attachment. He writes, and I quote, empathy is the capacity to see the world through the eyes of another and to feel what they feel. But in Trump’s and Musk’s cases, the empathy bug is entirely absent. They don’t even fake empathy. They don’t seem to care if they appear to care. He goes on to explain that this performative lack of empathy is actually part of their appeal to followers that in a chaotic world, cruelty gets mistaken for strength, and that that thought hit me hard. Here I am traveling the country, delivering keynotes and workshops on empathetic leadership, and I start to wonder, Am I pushing a boulder uphill every time I say things like empathy boosts performance or empathy increases customer loyalty, a small voice inside me whispers, is anyone still listening? Reich’s article inspired this thought, when our culture elevates those who mock others, who trade in blame and dehumanization, who treat workers or dissenters or entire communities as disposable. It feels like we’re slipping backward, and yet, here’s the rub. I also know that millions of people are craving something different. I hear it in the voices of the audiences I speak to, the leaders and HR professionals that I partner with, the CEO is brave enough to ask me, How do I lead with more heart without losing respect or results? So maybe we’re not so much fighting a losing battle, but a fractured one, where two very different visions of leadership are colliding, domination versus collaboration, command and control versus connection. Now, in the empathy edge, I wrote that we need to rebrand empathy as a strategic leadership skill, that it’s not about coddling or indulgence, it’s about courage, and I stand. By that, because in today’s world, it takes real courage to pause and listen rather than react, to treat your team like people, not machines, to sit across from someone who disagrees with you and still see their humanity. Robert Wright calls empathy the glue of society without it, he says, we lose the ability to make collective decisions, we lose democracy, we lose decency, and we cannot afford to lose those things. By the way, I am going to put a link to Robert’s article in the show notes, so make sure you check it out in full. So if you’re a leader wondering whether empathy is still relevant, let me assure you, it’s more relevant than ever. But we need to reclaim it from cynicism, from Spin, from weaponization. We need to stop thinking of empathy as a nice to have, and start recognizing it as a critical operating system for leadership in the 21st century. In fact, Reich further talks about how without empathy, our society just cannot work. And this part of his article is particularly powerful, so I want to quote it verbatim. Quote a society depends on people trusting that most others in society will have a modicum of empathy for others rather than take advantage of them. In this way, civic trust is self enforcing and self perpetuating, while civil distrust can corrode the very foundations of a society. Polls tell us that many of today’s Americans worry that the nation is losing its national identity. Yet the core of that identity has never been the whiteness of our skin, the uniformity of our ethnicity or the commonality of our birthplace, our core identity as Americans, the most precious legacy we’ve been given by the generations who came before us consists of the ideals we share and the obligations we hold in common. We are tied together by these empathic meanings and duties, our loyalties and attachments guided by empathy define who we are. If we are losing our national identity, it’s not because we are becoming blacker or browner or speak in more languages than we once did. It is because we are losing the ties that bind us together, our collective empathy, Musk and Trump typify what has gone wrong. Their most damaging legacies may be the erosion of the trust and empathy on which our society, any society, depends. End Quote, so what can you do right now as a leader who wants to resist the tide of cruelty? Well, here are three small but powerful steps. Number one, model it. You don’t have to be perfect, but when you listen, first admit your mistakes or show compassion in a tense moment, you show your team that empathy is strength. Number two, name it. When others dismiss empathy, push back gently, firmly. Say, I think listening to understand is productive, or I’ve seen empathy increase our results, not weaken them. Number three, protect it. Cultivate spaces where empathy is valued, whether that’s your team, your family or your community, surround yourselves with others who get it, because if we don’t protect empathy, who will, in closing, empathy is not weak, it’s not naive, it’s not political. It is what allows us to build trust, resolve conflict, and create workplaces where people and performance can thrive. And as Robert Reich so powerfully reminds us, when leaders lack empathy entirely, they lose touch with the people they claim to serve, they create fear, not loyalty, silence, not innovation, chaos, not progress. I know it’s hard. Some days I feel like a lone voice shouting into a storm, but then I remember, I’m not alone. You’re here, listening, caring, trying, and that gives me hope. So keep going, keep leading with empathy, even when it’s unpopular, because empathy is not the enemy, it’s the antidote. Thank you so much for joining me today on the empathy edge. If this episode spoke to you, please share it with a friend or a colleague or someone who needs to hear it. And as always, if you’re looking for support in building a culture of empathy and performance in your organization, and you’re not sure where to start, visit me at Red slice.com you know, I’d love to help until next time, please remember that cash flow, creativity and compassion are not mutually exclusive. Stay kind, stay courageous, stay human.
Maria Ross 09:53
For more on how to achieve radical success through empathy, visit the empathy edge.com. There you can listen to past episodes, access show notes and free resources. Book me for a Keynote or workshop and sign up for our email list to get new episodes, insights, news and events. Please follow me on Instagram at Red slice Maria, never forget, empathy is your superpower. Use it to make your work and the world a better place
