Tag: empathy

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Beyond Either/Or: Why Great Leaders Embrace Both/And Thinking

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Did you know that human brains are wired to adopt binary thinking for survival? We see things as black and white, right or wrong, so we can quickly assess threats and opportunities.  Like the big wooly mammoth coming at you. Or Mr. Lumberg heading over to ask about your TPS Report.

In reality, we often deal with shades of gray – and those shades differ depending on your own life experiences. Accepting that two seemingly contradictory beliefs are true is known as dialectical thinking – and this vital skill helps you navigate change, balance priorities,  and creatively adapt.

Either/Or leadership will not serve you well as a 21st-century leader. Not when complex challenges require diverse voices to collaborate and innovate together. To quickly build those trusted relationships, we need to embrace BOTH/AND leadership. 

Leadership that balances BOTH the demands of the organization AND the needs of your people. 

Empathetic leadership CAN co-exist with high performance, accountability, profitability, and even having your own clear boundaries. Stud after study shows this. 

But how? 

This balancing act is what I call The Empathy Dilemma.

For example, empathy can co-exist with high performance, accountability, profitability, and clear boundaries. 

Sounds good, right? So why is it so hard to maintain that balance?

See, it gets challenging in the modern fast-paced, stressful workplace because of generational misunderstandings, diverse voices, and those who weaponize empathy to get their way. 

Plus, the fact that most people don’t really understand what empathy means and how it can show up in a professional setting like the workplace just add to the confusion. 

So our brains, which love binary thinking and simple answers, can’t just go on autopilot. Showing up for different people based on their different needs requires effort: how we listen, how we communicate, how we offer support, how we emotionally regulate ourselves. Empathy doesn’t allow us to react impulsively or operate on auto-pilot. So, some leaders simply fall back on what they know: command and control. 

I get it—letting go of the status quo is scary! But being aware of why you fall back on bad habits is the first step to growth and change.

Let’s be clear. Empathy does not have to mean crying on the floor with your employees. Empathy at work means being able to see, understand, and where appropriate, feel another person’s perspective. And further, use that information to act with compassion. To take the next right step together.

Next step? Let’s debunk common empathy myths that might be holding you back from better collaboration and connection with your team:

Empathy is not about being nice. Nice is sweet, and thoughtful, and lovely. But it doesn’t mean you see someone else’s point of view.

Empathy is not caving into unreasonable demands. That’s people pleasing or submission, not empathy. You can make tough business decisions but do so with respect and compassion in HOW you implement and communicate. 

One of my most empathetic leaders actually had to lay off our entire team before a merger. But how he did it made a difference. He gently but clearly broke the news, gave us space to process, prepared in advance for our questions, and provided his time, resources and support to make this easier on us. He’s still a close mentor to this day!

Empathy is not a weakness. It requires great strength to take on someone else’s point of view without defensiveness or fear. You can be confidently empathetic and You can be confidently empathetic, make hard decisions, and hold people accountable.

All at the same time. Both/And.

Finally, empathy does not mean you have to agree. Empathy is about connection, not conversion or coercion. You can have an empathetic conversation, and better understand someone’s context, but still leave with your values intact. You and the CFO may not agree on a strategic plan but you can get curious, actively listen, and acknowledge her perspective. And she can do the same for you. Maybe then you find out he doesn’t support your plan because he has elder parents he cares for and this will require more of his time, or that he implemented a similar plan at his last company and it failed. Or she may reveal a truth you hadn’t considered. You can then learn why the other person sees things the way they do. Get curious, actively listen, and acknowledge why someone thinks the way they do so you can find common ground and move the decision forward. 

Think about how you show up as a leader and ask yourself: Am I choosing my behaviors based on either/or thinking, or can I embrace BOTH/AND thinking to show up in th best way to achieve my goals and support my team?

Photo Credit: Alice Yamamura, Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Healthy Leaders Balance Masculine and Feminine Energy

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“Can you write a book about FEMININE traits as a strategic advantage instead?”

This is what the NYC agent asked me after reviewing my book proposal back in 2017. I was shopping The Empathy Edge around and was on a mission to prove how empathetic leaders, cultures, and teams are a competitive advantage for organizations. The ROI of empathy, as I like to say.

The agent loved my writing, and the #MeToo movement (which started in 2006) had gained massive momentum that year after famous Hollywood actresses spilled the beans on sexual harassment and assault. So publishers were scrambling for books about women, for women. And this agent wanted to serve up a book she thought would get easily sold.

I said, “Sorry, no.”

Yes, I walked away from what might have been a lucrative book deal because it was not the book I wanted to write. 

Empathy is a human trait. It’s gender-neutral. We are all born with it to one degree or another – it’s what has helped our species survive. I didn’t want to add to the excuses leaders (mostly men) make about why they can’t be compassionate, listen actively, or support their teams. 

I wanted to de-gender empathy and reinforce it as the human trait it is.

The narrative is that masculine energy is dominant, strong, logical, and aggressive. And that female energy is nurturing, creative, collaborative, and soft. But if you read even the most basic of ancient texts, you’ll soon realize that these traits go beyond gender. And that we have BOTH energies within all of us.

It’s the masculine/feminine balance we need to embrace to be a successful leader – and human. This is a great essay on why that balance is so important. The author writes about striving for that balance to be more resilient. 

So enter all the scuttlebutt about Mark Zuckerberg’s recent words, that corporate culture has become “neutered” and that we need to bring back more “masculine energy.”

Oh boy.

My empathetic question of Zuckerberg would be what do you mean by masculine energy? Or is that just coded language for white supremacy and patriarchy? Because “masculine energy” has done nothing but create a toxic environment where men are not allowed to feel their feelings, where they have limited choices, and experience loneliness, depression, and suicide at alarming rates. 

Where boys can only turn to violence or intimidation to soothe their hurt. 

If that’s the masculine energy you’re referring to, we’ll take a hard pass, thank you. We actually need a balance.

If you mean ambition, competitiveness, bravery, strength – I hate to tell you, Mark, but it’s 2025 and women can exhibit all of those traits as well. But thanks for your gender bias. We don’t really need to label these traits masculine or feminine. They are human traits and they belong to us all. 

This great Forbes article by Gemma Allen said it best:

“The tech industry’s fascination with “masculine energy” isn’t just about gender. It’s really about power. It’s about who gets to lead, who gets to innovate, and who gets to shape our technological future. When industry leaders like Zuckerberg frame leadership in masculine terms, they’re not just expressing personal preference – they’re reinforcing a status quo, while simultaneously retreating from diversity initiatives. “

This is not about masculine versus feminine energy. It’s about power. Power taken at the expense of women and marginalized communities. Power for WHITE MALES.

Empathy is about seeing diverse points of view, actively listening, and meeting people where they are so they can do their best work. That requires you to put ego aside, it requires compassion. It requires deep self-awareness.  Something none of the folks Zuckerberg is currently hanging out with have any desire to do.

What Zuckerberg said was not surprising. He just said the quiet part that the wealthy tech bro community already believes out loud. But in his uninformed statement, he overlooked the value of collaboration, diversity, equity, compassion, listening, and inclusion ON THE BOTTOM LINE.

We need to stop gendering important traits that lead to success. We need to find that balance to achieve our goals, promote mental health, and create opportunity for everyone.

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Choose Your Partners Wisely. Be a Part of The Empathy Movement

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Tell me with whom you associate, and I will tell you who you are. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

We are judged by the company we keep. From the first time Aesop shared that phrase in his writings to what we know to be true today, who you choose to surround yourself with says a lot about who you are – as a person, a leader, and a brand.

As a brand strategist, I have talked before about the importance of choosing the right partners. Those who align with your values, complement your mission, and impact the same audiences. 

Who you partner with and where you advertise says a lot about who you are as a brand.

This is why some brands made a mass exodus from Twitter (now know as X) when Elon Musk took over and ravaged it from what it once was. An aspect of Cancel Culture addresses this – customers abandoning a company if the brand advertises with a certain partner they deem to be disreputable. 

Your customers and clients care about who you collaborate with. They notice. They make purchase decisions based on it.

So it’s time to think about your cause or mission. What does your brand stand for? What is your manifesto? What is your philosophy?

A practical way to communicate that beyond mere words is to partner and advertise with thought and intention.

So….

An invitation 

If you and your brand embrace empathy as a strategic advantage. If you believe human-centered leaders and cultures can achieve radical success. If you understand that empathy for your customers/clients boosts their experience, engagement, and evangelism of your brand….

You’re invited for a chat with me about partnering, collaborating, and joining my people-centered leadership mission.

  • We can discuss our shared values and work and see if our audiences intersect to amplify each other’s important work.
  • We can outline options to promote your brand and content on The Empathy Edge podcast and reach hundreds of thousands of high-value, highly-targeted listeners who need what you’ve got. Plus take advantage of other channels to reach them (limited spots available as I’m very discerning about who I bring to my audience)
  • We can revamp your brand story and messaging to better connect and engage with your ideal clients, reignite your employees, and differentiate your work. All to accelerate sales, impact, and growth.

Many folks approach me for partnerships but do not get accepted if they are not the right fit – or if there is no mutual benefit. Because I always remember it’s about the mission, carefully choosing partners where values align and who do right by their clients from a place of purpose, not merely profit. Those who understand that profit and purpose, empathy and high performance, compassion, and growth CAN co-exist.

Are you intrigued? Are you on a mission with me to prove empathy  – for your leaders, team, and customers – is a strength and can lead to radical success?  Let’s talk today!

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Empathy Circles at Work: A Powerful Tool with Limitation

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As someone who has dedicated my career to helping leaders infuse empathy into their work, I’m always fascinated by the practical tools that bring this concept to life. 

One such tool I’ve known about for quite some time is Empathy Circles—a structured approach to fostering understanding and connection. I first heard about Empathy Circles from Edwin Rutsch and his team at the Center for Building a Culture of Empathy. Edwin and I met when he attended The Empathy Edge book launch party in Berkeley in 2019. He shared how his team has used Empathy Circles at the most divisive political rallies the U.S. has seen in recent years. They set up Empathy Tents at these rallies to get a person from each side of the political spectrum into a tent and facilitate listening to each other. Not to convert, but to LISTEN.

I then attended the group’s intense and rewarding free online training on Empathy Circle facilitation. And wow, was it eye-opening! It was a painful but necessary workout for my active listening muscles and how to withhold judgment to allow someone to be fully heard.

Edwin’s mission is that Empathy Circles become the foundational practice for empathy, just as meditation is for mindfulness.

Recently, I had the chance to speak at one of Edwin’s Empathy Summits where we specifically discussed the Empathy Circle practice. I presented both the pluses and the minuses of leveraging Empathy Circles at work.

You can view the full Summit and speakers here and my 10-minute presentation here.

Empathy circles can be incredibly powerful in the workplace, but they’re not without their limitations.

The Pros and Cons of Empathy Circles in the Workplace

What are Empathy Circles? Picture a safe, supportive environment where team members can share their perspectives and be deeply heard. One person moderates and keeps time. A speaker is given a time limit, say 5 minutes, and chooses a Listener. Remaining members are just silent observers. At periodic intervals, the Listener then reflects back what they heard the person say – without judgment or commentary. The Speaker can then correct or confirm what the Listener stated before continuing. The Listener becomes the next Speaker and so it continues on. The set structure of these circles encourages active listening, reflection, and, most importantly, connection. 

See one for yourself right here.

I’ve participated in Empathy Circles myself, and let me tell you—it’s harder than it looks! It requires you to fully focus on someone else’s words without jumping in with advice or counterpoints. It’s a muscle we all need to exercise, especially in the workplace.

My book, The Empathy Dilemma, presents the 5 Pillars of Effective Empathetic Leadership. and how they are supported by curiosity, active listening, withholding judgment, and synthesizing multiple perspectives. Empathy circles directly support these underlying skills. By creating a space for open dialogue, these circles help team members understand each other’s contexts and experiences. This can be transformative for resolving tensions or bridging generational and cultural divides.

However, empathy circles aren’t a one-size-fits-all solution. While they excel at fostering connection, making space for someone to speak their mind, and resolving conflicts, they’re not always the best modality for every leadership need. 

For example: You’ve got two people on your team who don’t get along and it’s impacting the work. Get them in a room and facilitate an Empathy Circle so that they can hear each other. Provide that space where people can share their stories, their perspectives, or their feedback, in a safe, supportive environment without interruption or judgment.

Another example:  Brainstorming meetings could really benefit from using a structure like an Empathy Circle so that everyone – whether introverted or extroverted –  can be heard. Everyone gets equal air time.

Empathy Circles may be less effective in product design meetings where decisions need to be made, or ideas need to be built upon. And perhaps they may not be effective when conducting performance reviews. Why? Because they’re designed to prioritize listening and understanding, not necessarily rapid and additive back-and-forth exchanges or decision-making. For effective feedback loops, leaders need to ask clarifying questions and offer constructive input—something that traditional Empathy Circles don’t always allow.

This brings me to an important point about empathetic leadership: it’s not about being nice or avoiding tough conversations. It’s about showing up with curiosity and courage. Sometimes, that means using tools like Empathy Circles to create a foundation of trust and mutual respect. Other times, it means shifting to a different approach, like open-ended Q&A sessions or iterative feedback mechanisms, to meet specific goals.

One of the biggest barriers to empathy in the workplace is ego. As leaders, we must let go of the need to always be right or have all the answers. Empathy circles are a great exercise in doing just that. They remind us to listen without judgment, ensure we understand the other person, and view others’ experiences as valid, even if they differ from our own.

But let’s not stop there. While Empathy Circles are a valuable tool, they’re just one part of an empathetic leadership toolkit. Leaders can consider other modalities that support innovation, performance, and accountability. And they should never lose sight of the ultimate goal: creating an environment where people feel seen, heard, and valued.

So, where does this leave us? Empathy Circles are a powerful way to practice active listening and resolve conflicts, but they’re not the be-all and end-all. By understanding their strengths and limitations, leaders can use them strategically alongside other tools to build a culture of empathy and high performance.

Please remember: the key to empathetic leadership isn’t perfection; it’s progress. Let’s keep moving forward, one empathetic conversation at a time.

Find or join an Empathy Circle on a topic of your choice to see for yourself.

If you’d like to try an Empathy Circle for your team, please reach out to me. I am trained in effective facilitation and would love to support you in creating stronger connections, building collaboration, and learning how to listen across differences.

Photo credit: Edwin Rutsch, Online Global Empathy Circle Facilitator Training, 2021

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Empathy in Life AND At Work is Worth Fighting For

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The Dalai Lama had a lot to say about business and leadership. Yes, the Dalai Lama.

A few years ago, I read the book A Force for Good: The Dalai Lama’s Vision for Our World  by Daniele Goleman. It was a game changer for me, in terms of marrying values, ethics, and business – with a splash of spirituality.

Imagine a world where compassion is the norm.

This is the world I’m trying to build with my work. 

His Holiness has met with leaders from around the world and has seen how many of them bring purpose and positive energy into their work – and how successful they were as a result. He often talks about self-awareness and self-mastery being the essence of good leadership. And if you are able to be self-aware and have self-mastery, that usually means you are putting your ego aside for something greater than yourself.

When studies like the 2024 Businessolver State of Workplace Empathy report still show that 37% of CEO’s, 30% of HR professionals, and 244% of employees believe empathy doesn’t have a place in the workplace – IMHO that number should be zero – while ALSO claiming higher rates of workplace toxicity and mental health challenges, how are they not putting the two things together?

Business is just another way we humans interact with one another. It’s not outside of ourselves. For many of us, we spend the bulk of our time there. 

How is it possible that some of us still think we have some sort of armor we put on when we clock in, or, like the Apple TV series Severance, that a chip is implanted in us to forget about everything going on in our personal lives when we walk through the office door – and everything about our work life is gone when we take the elevator back up?

Empathy belongs in any place where humans interact with other humans.

When we lose touch with our ability to be compassionate in the face of adversity, challenge or tough decisions, we relinquish our humanity. 

We shouldn’t be required to give up our humanity just to work at an accounting firm, software company, or construction site. We should be able to be whole people wherever we are in the world. However, we move about it, and with whomever we choose to interact. 

There are some pretty awful leadership role models entering our spheres of business, society, and government. There always have been, there always will be It’s easy to say we’re resigned to that. But we cannot go gentle into that goodnight, as poet Dylan Thomas once wrote. Human connection, empathy, and compassion are worth fighting for. And we fight for them not with weapons and screaming, but by embracing those values. By modeling them, celebrating them, and rewarding them in whatever sphere of influence we have. We fight by disproving the false belief that you can’t be empathetic and successful or impactful at the same time.

Only then can we really strengthen the connections that are needed to build community.

We have a mental health crisis in our culture. We are dealing with a loneliness epidemic, toxic masculinity, and oppressive systems that only make room for a few while hurting the many. Society could not be flying a large enough banner across the sky to tell us we need to change something. We need to embrace empathy again.

The Dalai Lama got it. Smart, successful leaders I speak to all the time get it. So I invite you to be part of turning the tide – speak out, and model empathy and compassion whether you’re with your kids, on social media, stuck in traffic, or, yes, at a budget meeting at work.

For further reading: 

3 Observations About Compassion from the Dalai Lama

How Purpose Leads to Company Success

Empathy for Others Starts with Empathy for Yourself 

Photo Credit: Becca Henry Photography

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Is Innovation a Priority? Then You Need Empathy

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Smart companies understand that innovation is required to compete in a rapidly changing market. Samudra Group is a dynamic ecosystem of communities called Trusts – of which I’m proud to be a part – that offer ideas, insight, and collaboration to encourage more purpose and innovation.

In a recent email to members, Samudra cited an important BCG study:

83% of Companies Rank Innovation as a Top-Three Priority, Yet Just 3% Are Ready to Deliver on Those Innovation Goals – BCG

A TOP 👏3 👏PRIORITY 👏!

Samudra commented in that member email that “A lack of innovation can stifle a company by making it less competitive in a rapidly changing market. Without new products, services, or processes, businesses risk falling behind rivals that are more adaptive to emerging trends and customer needs.”

Smart leaders know this And yet…..

A study by Catalyst showed that “61% of people with highly empathic senior leaders report often or always being innovative at work compared to only 13% of people with a less empathic senior leader.”

61% vs 13%. That’s a huge delta in lost innovation – and lost competitive advantage and revenue. All because leaders are not paying attention to creating an empathetic culture or investing in practices, rewards, or even professional development that includes strengthening empathy.

Look, we know that every company faces different challenges as to why they are unable to execute innovation goals. But creating a culture where innovation can thrive through empathy is something very much in their control –  if they make it a priority,

The problem: We are not optimizing our human potential in non-empathetic workplaces.

Bottom line: Stressed brains don’t learn. When we operate in a stressful environment, one ruled by fear, exclusion, dictatorship, or anxiety, it impairs our cognitive functions including our ability to concentrate and remember information, according to Dr, Lorea Martinez, social-emotional learning coach and creator of The Heart in Mind model. 

Her video is worth 5 minutes of your time. While she talks about this in the context of students under chronic stress, this is true for ALL humans at any age

The release of cortisol causes us to have trouble with memory, focus, and problem-solving, 

Is it really a smart business move to create an environment where your “resources” operate at diminished capacity when you can actually do something about it? Especially if you claim innovation is a top 3 priority?!

Heed Dr. Martinez’ 3 tips on what to do in the classroom for stressed students and adapt it to your workplace of stressed employees,

Don’t just talk a big game on your innovation priorities, Create the environment that enables it to flourish and deliver big results.

Photo Credit:  Catalyst 

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Scary Leaders…or Scared Leaders?

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Woooooooo! Halloween is just around the corner and decorations are already up in our neighborhood. Not our house yet, mind you – we’re still settling into the new place. But this neighborhood takes its Halloween very seriously, which will be awesome for my son.

The ghouls, goblins and…. Gladiators (?) – my son’s chosen costume this year – will be out in full force, as will the spooky music, haunted houses, chills, and thrills.

We humans have this weird desire to scare ourselves for fun!

But fear and horror in the workplace is less desirable. And nothing can strike more fear into our hearts than…Dun Dun DUUUUUUNNNNN! Scary bosses!

I truly believe that most scary or ineffective leaders have no self-awareness about how poorly they come across and how much psychological torture they induce. Unless they are sadists, of course. And that’s because their negative behavior is almost always a result of their own fears.

Fear of losing control.

Fear of looking stupid.

Fear of failure.

Imposter syndrome

Fear of letting anyone see the real person inside. 

A former white nationalist turned speaker and anti-hate activist Arno Michaelis, who wrote the book My Life After Hate, and whose story I recently got a chance to learn and was so moved by, I’ve invited him on to the podcast, reminded me of the familiar adage: 

Hurt People Hurt People.

And that is never more true that for bad bosses.

They don’t realize that their attempts to look good and maintain control an command are ruining their chances of success. That when they create fear, anxiety, and stress it is anything but beneficial to competition – it actually neutralizes high performance.

Studies sow that when we are under perceived stress, it can cause lower cognitive scores and a faster rate of cognitive decline.  Some studies, like those cited by CNN, show how stress lowers cognitive function. Even after adjusting for many physical risk factors, people with elevated stress levels were 37% more likely to have poor cognition, the researchers found.

We literally can’t think straight when we’re operating under stress of fear. Our executive functions shut down. We can’t engage the parts of our brain that we need in our work when we’re in a constant state of flight, flight, or freeze.

Why on earth would a leader knowingly degrade their biggest assets- their people – in such a blatant way? Successful leaders want their teams to be operating at optimal capacity – to invent, problem solve,  create, innovate, remember important facts. All the things we need our frontal lobe to do!

If they would embrace empathy as a strategic advantage, they would see how their teams engagement, performance, and innovation would increase. They would be able to get the best out of the people they need to do the work! And those people could perform at levels that ultimately, would make the leader look good and advance their own goals.

Fear does not work for the long term. And it certainly doesn’t work for outperforming in challenging markets. 

I would advise any leaders out there who struggle to create strong connections with their teams – or those of you who recognize these bad behaviors in your own leaders to invest in empathy.

Open yourself up to a new way to lead and operate. Or risk falling way behind.  Be vulnerable in your journey to be a more empathetic leader – while still expecting high performance nad holding people accountable. But watch your people rise to the challenge, rather than get crushed under the negativity.

The goal is performance, right? So stop trying to scare the hell out of your people out of some underlying desire for respect or fear of failure. Examine your own emotional triggers and backstory and interrogate yourself with a curious mind. 

Could you find another way to operate, be more effective, and cause less harm?

I bet you could. If you’re willing to walk through that door. I promise, there won’t be some crazed maniac inside waiting to torture you like all the Halloween movies would have us believe. In this movie, I promise that what waits around that dark corner is actually a whole lof light!

Photo credit: Oxsana Melis on Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Brain Injury Recovery: Letting Go of the Past to Accelerate Success

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September is Brain Aneurysm Awareness Month. And August 4 was my 16 year “annie-versary” (as they call it) of surviving my own near-fatal brain aneurysm.

So many blessing to be thankful for. So many lessons learned.

In my  memoir Rebooting My Brain, I shared that my own worst obstacle was not about my cognitive deficits or any physical limitations. Not even my impaired eyesight at the time. It came from within ME.

My stubbornness in refusing to change and adapt. 

I kept trying to compare myself to the Old Me, to the baseline that existed before. “But before, I could do ….easier, faster, better! I just need to do it like that again!”

Until a very kind occupational therapist challenged me with tough love, saying, “Forget about what you used to do or how you used to be”  She challenged me to face what was  in front of me right now and figure out new strategies to get to my goals..

Once I stopped clinging to the past and embraced what was now in front of me, I found new ways to achieve my goals  – and I thrived. My progress accelerated.

And this is exactly what I’m seeing leaders doing now, in our post-pandemic workplaces. Leaders refusing to adapt. Leaders clinging to outdate models. Leaders return to what they know out of fear.

What does that look like? 

  • Demanding 5 days a week back in the office
  • Refusing to keep some of the flexibility they offered during the Pandemic
  • Cutting DEIB programs and budgets

And you can probably fill in more examples you’ve seen.

My empathy speaker work is about helping leadering understand how to adapt to the new paradigms of leadership and workplace culture. Once they do, their progress and success will accelerate,  just as it did for me!

However, here’s the plot twist:

Employees, you have agency, too. 

If you are lucky enough to have a leadership team who understands the benefits they get from offering flexibility and a more human-centered workplace,  great. But if you are not, YOU STILL GET TO MAKE A CHOICE. You deal with the new reality before you.

Stop trying to fit a square peg into a round hole – or culture, if you will.

If your organization’s business decisions no longer align with your values or lifestyle, you get to make a decision to adapt. 

The company is showing you who they are. They are allowed to do business however they see fit. Yes, even if it’s short-sighted, limiting, and will hurt them competitively in the long run. 

BU they are not required to change for you. A human-centered workplace does not equal a YOU-centered workplace, unfortunately. The company also has a responsibility to all its employees and customers to run sustainable, with governance and compliance as they see fit. 

So the choice is yours: 

Despite your best efforts to create change where you are, will you continue to defiantly cling to the flexibilities you used to have during the Pandemic. Or will you adapt to the reality before you and chart a new path? Find a new company or role that better aligns with your values and needs?

Once you do, your progress and success will accelerate.

PS, Let’s take a moment to acknowledge that not every worker has the luxury of just leaving an inflexible environment and finding a new job. But if you are able to in your industry or career, it may be time to adapt and move on in order to thrive.

Photo credit: Ankush Minda on Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Empathy and Joy in… Politics?!

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Anyone who has had to endure the DMV knows there can often be little joy in government. 

But a few weeks ago, U.S. Democratic leaders encouraged us to find joy in politics. Yes, POLITICS. The joy in helping others, building a strong country and equitable future. Joy in rolling up our sleeves and getting involved to help our communities and our nation thrive.

I was struck by how often both “empathy” and “joy” were mentioned at the Democratic National Convention, because JOY is the 5th Pillar of The 5 Pillars of Effective and Empathetic Leadership, from my forthcoming new book, The Empathy Dilemma: How Successful Leaders Balance Performance People and Personal Boundaries (Get your copy now!)

It’s not about the work being joyful all the time. It can’t possibly be in any organization (spreadsheets anyone?) But let’s not assume joy contradicts “tackling serious issues” or “getting results.”

The word JOY in politics may rub some the wrong way, especially when many Americans are struggling to pay rent, buy a home, afford prescription drugs, manage multiple jobs, find opportunities, untangle bureaucracy, and protect our rights and bodily autonomy.

But it is in these times where JOY is exactly what a savvy empathetic leader leverages to motivate, engage, and get people thriving. And it’s how you can get the best out of your teams as well, even when the work is difficult.

Creating joyful energy catalyzes ACTION. And ACTION is what enables your organization (or government or country) to succeed so everyone can thrive.

Empathy AND results can co-exist. Both/And. Learn more about why and how in my new book!

Photo Credit: Mike Erskine, Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

What Empathy is and What it is Not

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We all agree empathy is a good idea. But not truly understanding what empathy is and what it isn’t gets in our way and causes more harm, burnout, and disconnection.

Empathy is NOT:

  • Being nice
  • Giving in
  • People pleasing
  • Making everybody happy
  • Avoiding hard truths to ensure comfort
  • Unanimous consensus (or satisfaction)
  • Hiding information
  • Doing someone’s work for them

Empathy is:

  • Listening
  • Getting curious
  • Knowing your triggers, strengths, and blindspots (and those of your team!)
  • Take a beat
  • Making space and time
  • Enabling everyone to have a voice as input (even if you make the final call)
  • Transparency in decisions, especially the tough ones
  • Letting go of ego or righteous indignation to see another’s point of view
  • Knowing that good ideas come from anywhere
  • Admitting when we don’t know the answer – and rallying others to bring their ideas forth
  • Having the tough conversation as soon as possible, with grace and respect
  • Making clear decisions…AND
  • …not being afraid to course correct if you’re proven wrong or get new information
  • Seeing the whole person, both inside and outside of work
  • Meeting people where they are
  • Creating moments of joy and levity, even when the work is hard

Empathy is not doing FOR. It’s being WITH.

How does empathy show up in your team or organization?

Photo credit: Desola Lanre-Ologun on Unsplash