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Business owners and marketers count a lot these days: Twitter followers, site visits, conversion rates, email opens, CPM. All great data that leads to insight and action.
But not everything that counts can be counted. You need to learn how to listen to your intuition.(Tweet this!)
Now, I’m not getting all woo woo here. I’m talking about sound business sense. If you have any life experience whatsoever and you have expertise in your field, you can sometimes smell a rat or spot an opportunity without really knowing why.
Knowing is in your head. Knowing is facts, data and experience.
Intuition is your “Spidey Sense”. It’s knowing without really knowing WHY – it just IS.
And I submit to you that your intuition or “gut feel” is often based on the collective facts, data and experience you already have. But it expresses itself through your heart.
Of course, there will be business decisions you need to make based on solid facts. But my good friend, Andrea Rae coaches many entrepreneurs that listening to your body is just as important as logically thinking through tough decisions.
So where do you start?
Andrea teaches that the first step is to discern your Inner Yes and No.
You already do this: When you look at a restaurant menu, you peruse it and think about what you’d like to eat and usually go with what you ‘feel’ like having.
The way to listen to your intuition is by tuning into your body. “When we tune into the sensations in our bodies,” says Andrea, “we might notice a tightening in the chest or stomach, a contracted feeling indicating we really don’t like that choice, or that the choice is not resonating. Or we might get a calm, peaceful even excited feeling in the body when we think about that option. ”
When you’re faced with a decision, close your eyes and get into your heart space. Breathe. Shut off your monkey mind for a minute. Then, turn your decision into a “yes” or “no” question and tune into your body, taking notice of how your body reacts. Does you chest or stomach tighten or do your muscles constrict? Or do you feel calm, lightness or excitement?
Some examples of how to apply this to your business:
Should I take on this client? If someone is unorganized, late, and high-maintenance from the very first interaction, how does that make you feel? My motto is that, unless there are extreme circumstances, most things finish as they start. Pay attention if your gut is telling you to let this one go.
Should I partner with this company? If a potential partnership keeps you awake at night, wondering if you’re getting “screwed” or you just don’t trust something in their voice and demeanor, pay attention. Your subconscious could be trying to remind you of a past similar that ended badly.
Should I do this? If you are constantly putting off a marketing or business task, such as blogging or networking, and the thought of it makes your stomach hurt, explore this resistance. Yes, it could be because you’re outside of your comfort zone but look deeper. Will it actually move you toward your goals? Is it really that important? I find that if I keep putting something off, it’s for a reason. So I either face the challenge, take it off my to-do list or outsource it. At least you will move the ball forward!
Do I want to invest? If a sales pitch or webinar invitation makes you feel “icky,” pay attention to this reaction. I get this feeling when I see ads for “Secrets to a Six-Figure Business!” or “Manifest Your Ideal Clients NOW!” Is this really the right style and approach for you? Can you trust this person? Maybe someone else who comes at this from a different angle would serve you better.
Andrea shares 3 tips to get better at tuning in to your intuition:
Spend some time in meditation, connecting to the heart, body and energetic boundaries, and practicing your yes and no response with simple questions to which you already know the answer. Focus on the body sensations. Observe, don’t think and analyze.
Journal about the areas in your life where you honor your inner communication and where you do not. What are your blocks to listening to inner guidance? Download this free guided meditation.
Find time during the day to stop before automatically doing something. Stop and ask yourself if this is what you want to do. Notice the information that reveals itself. Ask yourself questions. Your body sensations will communicate simple yes and no answers if you just pay attention
Yes, gather all the data and information you can to make a good decision. But at the end of the day, you have to feel good about making that decision.
Sitting in a coffee shop, I overheard two professional photographers comparing marketing notes.
They talked about pricing, contracts, packaging and how to create additional service offerings for new target markets. One seemed to be coaching the other based on his success, which was cool to see. It was lovely to see such mentoring and collaboration.
But this exchange stopped me in my eavesdropping tracks:
Him: You need to ask your past or current clients to refer business to you. This is how you generate word-of-mouth.
Her: Really? Just “ask them?” I thought word-of-mouth meant that you just do good work for people and hope they recommend you. I didn’t know I could ask them to refer me.
Him: If you deliver value for people, they will want to refer you! It’s your obligation to share the good work you do with people who need it.
“I didn’t know I could ask them to refer me.”
We are sometimes so afraid of the word “sales” that we deem any request for business as pushy, slimy or in-your-face.
Being “pushy” is an attitude, a tone of voice. It’s not the act of asking that’s pushy. It’s how you do it.
If you deliver honest work that gives great value to your clients or customers, then this guy is right: you have an obligation to ensure others who need what you’ve got can find you.
Don’t rest referral responsibility solely on the shoulders of your clients’ goodwill. We all mean well, but we get busy. We forget. We don’t post that stunning Yelp review or think about how your services might be perfect for a friend of ours.
Sometimes, you have to ask. Lovingly. Kindly. Confidently. (Tweet this!)
Here’s one way to ask a client for a referral at the end of an engagement:
“I’m so glad you’re happy with my work. It’s been great working with you, and I’m looking to help more clients just like you achieve results. If you have any friends or colleagues who could benefit from my work, could you please send them my way? If they end up becoming a client, I’d love to offer you a (discount/gift card/free session) as a thank you!”
One way to ask a colleague for a referral:
“Our services are really complementary and I noticed that those who work with you first get a lot more out of our work together . If you’re game, would you like to refer more clients my way (and vice versa) and perhaps we can do a 10% referral commission together?
One way to ask an existing customer for a referral:
“We love that you dig our style! We noticed you buy gifts and accessories from us every month and we wanted to say thank you. If you’d like to share the secrets of your gift-giving superpowers with friends or family, please send them our way with this code xxxxx. If they end up loving us as much as you do and spend $100 or more, we’ll reward you with 25% off your next purchase plus a free bonus gift. On us!
None of us can grow our business alone. Don’t be afraid to ask. Especially from those who already know the caliber of your work.
When we don’t have enough, we desperately wish we could find more.
When we have too much, we get impatient.
But ask someone “What is your time worth?” and you’ll get conflicting answers.
Entrepreneurs are willing to spend hours on social media, giving away their work for free or banging their heads against the wall launching marketing campaigns that result in zero new sales.
But ask them to spend the time required to make those activities count? Um, sorry. Too busy. Kids. Clients. Launches. Busy work. Errands.
And I’m looking in the mirror here, friend. I do it, too.
Your time is valuable. And that means that sometimes you have to invest it wisely.
Here’s the thing:
If you take a step back and spend the time putting together your brand strategy, getting super clear on your audience and message, developing valuable content, engaging your tribe before selling to them and building a strong foundation, guess what can happen?
You will do less marketing and achieve better results
You will be more consistent and memorable to your audience
You can get better results from fewer marketing tactics
You will stop getting overwhelmed by thousands of decisions
You will stand out from the competition
Your Facebook ads will convert better
Your events will sell out
Your client docket will fill up
Your products will sell
Your message will be heard
You will engage a raving fan base who will hang on your every word
You will win an Oscar! (OK, maybe that’s just in my own fantasy)
Assuming you deliver a quality product or service that people need, of course.
TOUGH LOVE TIME: Please stop wasting your valuable time. Right now. This minute. (TWEET THIS!)
You may think 12 months is too long to master your brand and marketing and slay your overwhelm in my MOMENTUM program.
“Ugh, really? That’s such a long time. I’ve got things to do! Do I have to?”
No, you don’t. You are free to keep spending your valuable time engaging in “random acts of marketing” that don’t work or result in sales.
Or you can spend 12 months with me to build a strong brand strategy and marketing foundation, brick by brick, step by step – all while still taking action each week – so that your precious time (and money) GETS RESULTS.
I’m in a one-year course with this format right now and I LOVE IT. When I’m busy, I just skip the week’s assignment and file it for another time. You can do the same with MOMENTUM. But always, the focus and support keep me moving forward.
You know. It helps me keep MOMENTUM!
We all need to get things done. But if you want those efforts to be more effective, if you want to engage your audience, end your overwhelm and do more with less, please don’t skip this crucial step.
You bought a digital course for $79. Once you downloaded the files, you never looked at them again.
You went through a week-long, self-guided course and devoted yourself to completing the lessons. And you never did anything with the advice.
You signed up for a four-week workshop and attended every class religiously. You still have your intended actions lying in a notebook somewhere. Actions that you never took.
Yep. All happened to me.
Look, we’re all busy. And I’ve been seduced by the quick-fix promises just like everyone else.
But let’s be real: How many times have your learnings and good intentions simply ended up in a file on your laptop, never to be referenced again?
Finding the right training format to master your marketing and build your business just depends on what you’re trying to learn and which needs you’re trying to meet.
How to set up your Facebook brand page? Maybe a video tutorial is fine.
How to consistently prioritize and build your self-confidence? Maybe you need months of live coaching sessions before you can get there and make real, lasting change.
Before you invest, ask yourself: What is it that I really need in order to achieve my goals, to have an impact? And what format would work best?
Do you need a quick answer, for someone to share all the information with you at once so you can run with it by yourself? Good for you, DIY-er.
Or do you need ongoing accountability and motivation? If you’re busy or easily distracted, do you need to focus your actions so you won’t lose steam?
When I designed my year-long MOMENTUM coaching program, it was to avoid the “quick-hit” syndrome. Right now, I’m in a program with this same format and LOVE IT. Some weeks, the assignments are exactly what I need to move forward and – bam – they get done. Plus I get feedback. If I’m too busy, I keep the lesson for later. Always, the work is at the forefront of my mind so it gets DONE. Oh, and did I mention it’s fun?!
But….if you’re still on the fence about MOMENTUM, here’s a tempting little gift:
Enjoy a FREE sample of one of the MOMENTUM lessons: It’s a taste of what you can expect each week. But in the real course, each lesson comes served with your own private Facebook group, constructive feedback, Connection Calls, goodies, incentives…and more.
Oooohhh, it’s gonna be good!
Figure out how you learn best, and what you really need–practically and psychologically–to achieve your goals. Maybe the quick-hits that haven’t been working mean you need to shake things up?
Like this? There’s more where that came from! Check out MOMENTUM right here.
How much time do you waste fielding inquiries from, preparing long proposals for, or haggling endlessly with people who will never buy from you? Or worse, people with whom it’s, quite frankly, a nightmare to work?
While you can create your ideal client personas and build your brand with intention, there is one extra step you can take to attract the right people into your orbit.
Define, articulate and share your unique philosophy.
What differentiates you is not just what you do, but how you do it. I wrote about this last week.
But, remember, while you get to choose your ideal customers and clients… your ideal fans also get to choose YOU. (Tweet This!)
So make it super easy for them to self-select and say, “Yes! I want to join your party!”
Publish your philosophy right on your website. Post it to a page, such as:
When you take a stand and say, “This is how I roll!” you invite people in to either join your tribe or say, “Meh, this is just not for me. Thanks.”
And that’s okay. Because you will never create a strong, connective and beloved brand if you try to please everyone. The best, most successful brands such as Apple, Starbucks and Virgin don’t claim to be right for everyone, so why do you think that would work for you?
Take a stand. Be bold. Share your philosophy and approach. It may not be right for some people, but wouldn’t you rather spend your precious time and energy engaging with more of the right people, more often? It’s not just an easier sales process, it’s just more fun!
No one starts a business without a passion for change.
Sure, many people do so to make lots of money, but what they choose to do, and how they choose to do it order to make that money? That’s often based on a problem they want to solve or an opportunity to make people, processes or communities better.
I’ll bet this is true for your business, too.
Knowing what drives you is essential to your success. (TWEET THIS!)
Let me share a story about motivation.
In 2008, I left Corporate America. My career included successful stints as a Fortune 500 management consultant, a marketer at Discovery Networks, an ad agency executive and several Director of Marketing positions at Silicon Valley tech companies.
Corporate life was great to me. It offered stability, a clear-cut career path, and benefits.
But as my marketing and branding skills grew, as I studied the greats like Ogilvy and as I saw first-hand what resonated with people and what did not, I realized something:
Many businesses forget that they are marketing to human beings.
This is never more true than in the business to business (B2B) space. So much jargon, overblown claims and eye-glazing boredom. No one talks like that!
Were we talking to robots…or to human beings with needs, desires and problems to be solved? Where was the connection? Where were the stories?
I’m a storytelling addict, in all its forms: An indie film. A moving play. An emotional video. A hilarious joke. A persuasive and succinct argument. I truly believe stories have the power to inspire, provoke, entertain, educate and persuade.
Marketing is not about lying to people. Marketing is simply communication, elevating the truth of your story so that the right people–the people who need what you’ve got–can find you and get on board. Truthful communication, where claims are backed up by proof but served with a side of emotion.
When I started Red Slice in 2008, I was excited. Finally, I could do marketing my way. Truthful. Emotional. Passionate. Human. I vowed to do work I loved with people I liked who were passionate about what they do. Period. No BS.
Honesty was important to me. I would offer tough love to my clients. Constructive feedback. Even if they made a different decision in the end, they would always get the truth.
Why? Three things happened in my early career that shaped this:
One, as a 21 year-old management consultant, I was asked to lie to a client about my age. Didn’t matter that the client valued my work. Today, they call that “managing the optics.”
Two, I strongly advised a client to go one route when she wanted to take another. I was pulled aside by my manager:
Me: But aren’t we supposed to advise the best way for them to be successful? Isn’t that what they are paying us for?
Manager: No, they are paying us to do what they say and not argue.
Three, when asked by a client to make advertising recommendations, I presented several options. There was just too much she didn’t realize she had to first determine. The client complained that I was “wasting her time.” I was asked to do less consulting and simply execute.
Me: You mean, you want me to be her secretary.
Manager: Well……um….kind of…..yes.
Needless to say, these instances devastated me. But they also fueled my passion for my work today.
It’s important to know what drives you. Your unique philosophy. This is what the right customers will find attractive and rally to support.
The same values drove me to create MOMENTUM, my guided program for busy entrepreneurs. Working with me and a kick-ass group of entrepreneurs, you will streamline your efforts by building a unique, useful and honest brand strategy, step by step. Even if you say you “hate” marketing.
We’ll cover how to determine your drive and articulate your philosophy to attract more of the right people to your business.
You will get feedback and support. You’ll probably even get my tough love!
With MOMENTUM, you will learn how to message and share your unique approach as your best secret “client attraction” weapon. You can jump on the wait list and get all the details right here and I hope you’ll join me.
Because like I always say: If YOU are not driven and inspired to promote your work, why should your audience care?
Last year, we threw a holiday party at our house. As with all my entertaining escapades, I bought too much food and stressed out right until the first guests arrived – and I had a drink in my hand.
While I’m no Martha Stewart, I wanted to delight my guests with a signature cocktail. My husband played around and came up with a gin gimlet with lime cordial, creating a lovely green concoction.
Being…well, me, I had to brand the evening’s special: We called it The Merry Grinch. **BONUS: Recipe below!
Our guests clapped with glee when they walked in and saw the drink “advertised” at the bar. They lit up. My husband spent most of the night filling orders.
Unexpected touches can delight and welcome your guests. Same holds true for your email list.
Your email subscribers have signed up for your party. Now it’s time to be a good host. (TWEET THIS!)
Right now, what do your subscribers get as soon as they sign up? A robotic auto-responder? Nothing? Yawn.
Just as a good host, you need to welcome people into your tribe. Delight them. Show them around. Tempt them with treats. Make them excited that they came and leave them wanting more.
Here are four ways to warmly welcome your email guests–and get them talking about you:
Give them a gift: Offer a useful and entertaining free gift just for signing up, such as a tip sheet, eBook, video series, or worksheet. Or something “on brand” for your personality. A fitness trainer offers the ultimate workout playlist. A coffee shop offers a free scone with purchase. An online store offers free shipping and a perfume gift sample on your first order. A leadership coach offers a video on how to be a more commanding speaker.
Personalize your auto-responder: These folks have raised their hands to hear from you and allowed you into your inbox. Don’t waste that mindshare! Personalize your auto-responder to further welcome them, or show off your brand personality. Act like you’re welcoming a friend over for dinner and remind then of what’s on the menu that they will love.
Give them a short tour: A few days after they first sign up, schedule a follow-up message to welcome them (again) and show them around. Point them to three of your most popular blog posts, link them to your core offering, remind them to follow you on social media. They’re new around there, so don’t assume they know how to navigate your wonderful world.
Ask them a question! Derek Halpern of Social Triggers shared this tip and I LOVE IT! You can engage a new subscriber and get valuable intel at the same time by asking one or two questions What would they like to see? What are they struggling with? If you’re a trainer, ask them if they have a big fitness goal or what they hate the most about exercising. If you’re a life coach, ask them what coaching style they prefer or if they’ve ever worked with one before.
When people subscribe to my list, they get an auto-responder with a free guide and are then invited to hit REPLY to answer two questions: What is your business and what one brand-building wish would you ask your Fairy Godmother to grant?
Of course not everyone responds, but those who do are super engaged and also give me great information that can add more value. Some folks have even tweeted about my auto-responders because they stand out.
Your email subscribers have signed up to come to your party. Pour the champagne, set out the chocolate-covered strawberries, and welcome them warmly so that you get not just new subscribers but engaged fans who will remember you and spread the word.
I like things tidy…do you? While I’m considerably less organized as a Type A personality than I used to be prior to my brain injury, I’m still an organization freak. My biggest pet peeve is the jumble of wires behind our TV that is now our hub for cable, internet, phone, game consoles and more. The sight of it literally gives me a headache.
But my obsession with organization is a huge benefit for my clients. One of my superpowers is being able to connect dots that no one else can see to create a clear, crisp narrative.
My clients often have an enviable problem: they are interesting people with many passions and skills to offer the world. And they are full of ideas on how to do it. Which is all great. Until you confuse the heck out of your target audience.
First step to clarity? Understand that not everything you love has to be a part of what people pay you to do(TWEET THIS!)
If you have ever asked, “How do I combine everything I do under one brand?”, here are 5 steps to tie everything together:
Take inventory: Write down every offering or skill you currently, or would like, to showcase to your market. Seeing things on paper is a big step to getting it out of your head and into some sort of system.
Identify the common threads: Trust me, there will be some. How do I know? Because they are all stemming from one person or company with its own unique personality! If you are drawn to offering different types of things, there is something linking those all together for you, whether it be a theme, audience or product/service “type”: Do you see a pattern across all your offerings and interests about healthy living? Storytelling? Connecting women? Transformation? Solving complex tech problems? Fine design? What is it that runs through everything?
Define your core audience: If many of your offerings can serve the same audience, great! But if they are all targeting completely different ones, you may have to pare down and get focused. It’s going to cost too much time and money to build your reputation among so many disparate audiences. Plus, people will get confused as to if you are right for them. Focus on the low hanging fruit.
Determine a compelling “Brand Umbrella”: What is the overarching theme that ties everything together? When you find the right one, you will see that you can easily fit all your offerings and passions under that umbrella in a way that makes sense to people. Brands you know and love offer tons of products or services but usually under the same brand umbrella: Method is all about pure cleaning products that don’t harm the planet. Dove is about real beauty and healthy skin. Alexandra Franzen is about writing and self-expression. Hiro Boga is about building a soulful business.
Purge: Anything that doesn’t fit. Maybe those are not your business’ core offerings but simply personal passions. Your brand umbrella can help you find your creative brand hook that can lead to a snazzy title, a unique company name, a signature touch or a unique visual device (juicy fruit that is irresistible to resist, perhaps?!).
For example, I determined a while back that my brand umbrella was “irresistible storytelling.” I help clients tell compelling stories, I speak at companies and conferences, I write books…I even enjoy acting and voiceover work, which is all about storytelling and even wrote food and wine articles for websites and print – but these are not the core ways I make my money. So I shifted that from an “offering” category to a “passion” category – and now use that personal interest to add color and life to my work.
Personal passions that have nothing to do with how you make money can also be called your Swirl, as publicity expert Melissa Cassera says. This is what gives your work a unique voice and flavor. You can color how you do the work you do with these unique interests. My love for wine and past wine writing experience does not mean I have to go out an create an entire company or offering as a “wine writer.” But it makes my stuff a lot more interesting to read!
A wise coach once told me, ‘You can do everything you want to do. You just don’t have to do it all right now or even with this evolution of your business.” (TWEET THIS!)
My two-year old son is my heart, my joy and my life.
His can also be a pain in the butt.
A friend once said that dealing with toddlers is like dealing with drunk people. They can be the happiest, most joyful people one minute and turn into a nasty, crying, incoherent mess the next. Sounds about right.
I’ve seen some parallels between toddler behavior and challenging clients. And I realized that some of the coping strategies we use with my son are actually pretty good tips for working with a “problem child” client or customer. (TWEET THIS!)
Here are three reasons why challenging clients or customers can behave like toddlers – and what you can do about it. And, PS, these apply to both product and service businesses:
They don’t respect boundaries – because boundaries were never set: My tussles with my son are often because he simply does not know where the line is. If you’ve never tried dive-bombing off the couch onto hardwood floor before, you would also be surprised if all of the sudden you ended up in Time Out. It’s my responsibility to set clear boundaries of what is and is not okay.
Same holds true with your clients or customers. They can’t read your mind.
What you can do:
Draft a clear contract that outlines exactly what you will deliver and what is not included. If a particular clause or section needs their attention (no refunds, payment plans, etc.) make them initial that section.
Set boundaries on when you are reachable and how to best get in touch with you (email, mobile phone, not on weekends, etc.)
Firmly but kindly say “no” when asked to do something out of scope, or better yet, refer them to someone who can help them.
Post simple-to-understand (and easy to find) policies on your website, in your store or on your sales page so there are no surprises.
They make irrational demands: My toddler has requested, at one time or another, to run around with a sharp knife, play outside right before bedtime, or that I make him something and then, once made, he refuses to eat it. These demands are maddening. The tantrums that follow even more so.
Certain clients or customers ask for the sun, moon and stars, make wacky requests or behave irrationally, which could result in emotional meltdowns that would even impress my toddler (Yes, a client has yelled at me and my team before. He was not a client for long!)
What you can do:
Set clear boundaries upfront: See above.
Acknowledge the request: “I can see that your boss is demanding the work earlier than expected. You’re trying to see if we can move up the timeline we agreed to upfront and still include everything you asked for, correct?”
Empathize and mirror their concern. Only then will they be receptive to what you have to say next: “That’s a rough spot for you to be in! I can see why you’re so frustrated.”
Get to the root of the demand and offer an alternative, if you can. “Can you share what’s causing this issue and maybe we can find another solution?” Or, “We can try to deliver that to you ahead of time, but then your final deliverable will not include x, y and z. Are you okay with that?”
If there is no alternative other than an outright “No”, offer a referral or resource. “I really want you to get the help you need, and unfortunately, I don’t do that type of work. May I recommend so-and-so?”
These ideas work even if you have a product or retail business. Acknowledge, empathize, find alternate solutions or refer them out.
They don’t listen: No matter how many times I ask him to not do something, my son sometimes never learns. “I’m telling you that if you put your hand on that pot you will burn yourself. NO TOUCH!” And he slowly stares me down as he stretches his hand toward the forbidden item, as if to say, “Are you watching?!”
Clients and customers always have the final say. It’s their money. But it can be hard, especially for services professionals, when some clients refuse to listen, things go sideways and then they might blame you. It’s sort of like talking to my two-year old: “I TOLD you not to touch the stove and you did it anyway!”
What you can do:
Back up your recommendations with data, a similar experience or a recent article.
Share both the upsides and downsides of all options to show you’ve considered everything.
Gently remind them they are paying you for your expertise, not to “yes” them to death (unless they are….?) or lead them to failure. It’s your responsibility to at least voice concerns by making a clear and professional case – but don’t harp on this if they continue to say no. In the end, it is their money and decision.
If they still won’t listen, document your recommendations in email or more formally. You can even say, “We are committed to helping you move forward, however, we’d like to officially document our concerns one last time.” Trust me on this.
If this is not a path you can morally, ethically or intellectually get behind, break ties. Do so gracefully by focusing on their needs and what would be the best value for them. Offer a refund only if that’s appropriate.
Now…..hang on……here’s your WHIPLASH moment:
Are YOU a “problem child” for someone else, or are you a good client or customer? Think about your web designer, copywriter or social media strategist. Hmmm…..well, um…yikes.
If you want to make sure you’re being a good client to your own vendors and consultants, here’s a FREE GUIDE I made for you: How to Play Nice with Consultants. Enjoy!
In eight years, I’ve worked with a lot of entrepreneurs. Some more successful than others. The ideas are always good, the passion is always high. But the clients who have made their businesses soar? They all share one common trait:
A bias toward action.
Look up “go getter” in the dictionary and you’ll see a picture of Renee Metty, one of my most cherished clients. I consider her a serial entrepreneur. Renee started a successful preschool in Seattle called The Cove School that was already off and running when we first worked together on an event planning business she wanted to launch. While that business was successful, her heart was not really in it. But what she was passionate about? Mindfulness, presence and creating more balance in the world, like she was doing at her school. So more recently, I helped her launch WithPAUSE, which offers mindfulness coaching, workshops and training designed to help people live richer, deeper and more fulfilling lives, both at home and at work.
In this interview, Renee shares her (not so) secrets when it comes to building a successful business: Failing fast, scoring speaking engagements, setting goals vs. intentions (and which one is better for your business), facing fear and how to focus. Enjoy our chat!
Maria Ross: Welcome to Red Slice, Renee! You are a very successful entrepreneur with at least three businesses (that I know of) under your belt. What I love about you is that you proactively commit to moving your ideas forward. What do you think drives you from idea to action?
Renee Metty: I’m a huge believer of failing fast and I know that nothing happens without action. Once I have an idea that I feel is viable, then I try it. I want to see if it’s going to work. I will say that there’s a huge difference between what I’m doing now and when we met when I was doing wedding planning. Very different intentions with very different outcomes, and I think they’re directly correlated.
MR: What do you mean by different intentions?
RM: When I started the wedding planning business, my intention was basically, “How can I make the most amount of money and work the least amount of time?” (laughs) It was fun and it was semi-glamorous and I liked the project management side of it, but it was very external. What I’m doing now is completely driven from the inside. There is pretty much zero focus on money and strategy. But it’s more about focusing on I can do and how I can contribute and that mindset is what keeps me in flow. (TWEET THIS!) I’m doing something I love and opportunities keep popping up. I slowed down and listened. I’m paying attention and I’m following my heart to the point where I feel like I’m driving the opportunities in a lot of ways.
MR: Wow.
RM: It’s like “Oh, this is where I’m supposed to be right now. I’m going to go with it and see what happens.”
MR: But obviously you’re taking proactive steps, too. Speaking engagements don’t just fall into your lap, for example. What has been your approach?
RM: It’s very general. My approach is to ask myself how I can add value to a community or society. Then when opportunities pop up, I ask two questions: Is it something I want to do, and, is it something that adds value? Sometimes it’s both, and sometimes it’s one of them. There are a few conferences I know that are good for networking or just getting my information out there, so I can spread my message. But honestly, the rest do fall in my lap. When I had my first few speaking engagements, I was reading a lot about how to get more. And over and over again, I found the advice, “If you want to speak, speak!” You’ve got to keep speaking. From one speaking opportunity comes other opportunities. Maybe the underlying thing is that you focus on connecting with people. I’m talking about less of the networking kind of connection and more about just being open to others, listening to people and staying really curious about where they are and what they want.
MR: But you proactively pursued those initial speaking engagements, right?
RM: The first one, I did not! Someone from Seattle Interactive asked me if I thought about speaking. I had already set the intention three months prior that I wanted to speak and share my mindfulness message with others.
MR: It’s kind of like the whole philosophy of “the things on which you put your attention and focus get done….”
RM: Without a whole lot of effort.
MR: Right.
RM: Honestly, I’m not trying. I’d say 10 to 20 percent is me trying, but it would be something like “I want to be international” and then someone tells me “Oh, there’s a Montessori conference that’s in Prague this year; you should apply to it.” And then I look into it. There’s no such thing as luck; as Oprah says, luck is just opportunity meeting preparedness.
MR: Exactly.
RM: And so there’s the opportunity, I’m fully prepared to take action on it and when it presents itself, and I do something about it. But also, I’m listening. I’m paying attention and I’m doing what I love so the right things are coming my way.
MR: You are such a delight to work with because you hash out your brand and message first, but then take immediate action. When starting these businesses, what has been the benefit of creating your brand strategy first before you build your website or start your marketing?
RM: I think it’s getting in front of the right people. Something I learned in my recent coaching certification class, which I love, is, “When you’re saying ‘no’ to something, what are you saying ‘yes’ to?” And the other way around: “When you’re saying ‘yes’ to this, what are you saying ‘no’ to?” It helps you prioritize. Something I learned from you is that if you’re writing a proposal or going to a networking event, if you don’t have a brand strategy or an ideal client in mind first, you’re just kind of spinning your wheels. I’d rather put myself in front of 100 people that may actually want my services than 1,000 people where I’m shooting blindly at a target.
MR: Exactly!
RM: Then there’s the 80/20 rule. My dad was in business so I’ve heard it for a long time: 80 percent of your business comes from 20 percent of your customers or efforts. When you understand that, it’s huge! When I went into mindfulness training and speaking, it really was to have a broader reach and know that if I can impact people more deeply, that, even if my reach was broad but I had just a few people listening and coming back for more, then that’s where I really wanted to focus. Which is where the brand strategy comes into play: helping you focus.
MR: For entrepreneurs who are still in the same place with their business or idea that they were two years ago, what advice can you offer? People that don’t see the results they crave or are sort of flailing, doing a lot of work but not getting any traction?
RM: I think the biggest thing is seeing if they can get to the core of what they love to do, in general. I’m a huge “list” person so having them make a list of things they want to be doing: where do they want to be focusing their time and energy – and a list of what they are actually doing. Start from there to see if there’s any overlap. Then you can go back to the idea of “if you’re saying ‘yes’ to this, what are you saying ‘no’ to?” If you’re doing all these things but you really don’t like doing them, then you’re saying no to all these things you want to do. I talk a lot about shifting perspective. I think that is the biggest lesson: you have to shift your perspective and focus on contribution. What value are you giving whomever, whether it’s your client or society or your industry, and start from there. That can be really hard because that’s not tied to dollars.
MR: That’s why many people don’t understand why mission and purpose are part of the brand strategy, but it’s got to start from there. If you don’t believe it, if you don’t buy what you’re selling, why should anyone else care? They’re not going to be your customers for the sole purpose of making you money; that’s not what’s going to light them up inside.
RM: And it’s your presence around it. If you’re super excited about what you’re doing, that excitement comes out. And it’s infectious.
MR: One last thing for you, Renee: Because you’re so action-oriented, it seems like you have no fear. You follow the principle of failing fast: you’re willing to try it and just go out there. If someone said ‘Apply to this conference’ and you didn’t have your – pardon my language – s**t together, you’d still apply. That’s what I love about you. You’re like ‘I’ll figure out the rest later!” What do you think gives you that confidence or ability to overcome your fear and how would you advise someone stuck in “paralysis analysis?”
RM: You know, part of my fear was fear of success, which I figured out recently, but I think what I always know that whatever happens is exactly where I’m supposed to be. They’re not isolated incidents. I have fear that one day I’m going to bomb some presentation or just go blank or something but I also know it’s pointless to even think about that. People get into that cycle so it’s best to dig deeper and figure out the rationale underlying that fear. What’s the worst thing that can happen? How I overcome it is by taking action, because the only way to overcome fear is by taking action and then knowing that any type of ‘failure’ is a learning opportunity.
MR: Right. There’s simply an outcome; it’s not positive or negative.
RM: Exactly.
MR: It’s an equal reaction, a cause and an effect. Whatever that effect is, you’re going to learn something from it.
RM: And more recently, I’ve realized that I’m not attached to any particular result or outcome. That’s huge. With all this stuff happening for me, more opportunities coming up and saying yes to a lot of things, some people have said ‘You have so much on your plate but you seem so relaxed’. It’s because I don’t attach to any particular outcome and I think that’s where a lot of stress comes in. It’s like ‘Oh my gosh, I applied to this conference, I really want to speak at it!’ and they’re just focused on “Am I going to get it or not?” and then they get the opportunity to speak and then they’re focused on “Are they going to like it, is it going to go well?” and I just don’t think about that at all.
MR: How do you marry that, or reconcile that, with having goals, though?
RM: There’s a podcast that I love that I listened to before I had this perspective with Tim Ferris and Leo Babauta and it was their little fun, playful argument about goals versus intentions. And at the time, I was thinking, “You’re crazy, Leo. I get it but you do need goals.” I was siding with Tim Ferris but I got what Leo was saying. Now it’s like ‘Oh my Gosh, I’m on Leo’s side. I have no goals!’
MR: Totally. Personal story: I started setting yearly “themes” rather than goals the last few years; I used to be the list person with the bullet points every year in my resolutions: my fitness resolutions, my work resolutions. It’s probably not the soundest business strategy but I don’t have revenue goals anymore.
RM: I do think that’s sound.
MR: Yeah, I think it’s sound when you’re working with yourself; I don’t know if it’s sound if you’re running a 1,000-person corporation! It’s kind of the complete opposite of what I’ve taught about marketing metrics, but it’s this idea of loosely setting intentions: ‘These are the things I want to accomplish.” I now pick themes for the year instead of resolutions and then I back all my actions into supporting those themes!
RM: Yeah. The bottom line is, is your bottom line moving? You know that when you run a business you have to have revenue and profit to stay afloat. Having said that, if you get super-specific about goals, you may be missing out on other opportunities that could work out as well. You have to be open to the fact that your goal might not be the right goal. With intention, it’s much more open and spacious for almost anything to happen and it’ll put you in the right place at the right time. I don’t have goals. I feel like anytime I think ‘I probably should have some goals’ and move towards them, it falls apart. This has been working for me so far and I’m going with it.
MR: I love it. And that’s why, honestly, when I do brand strategy work with clients, it’s strategy, yes, but it’s really all about focus. It’s not necessarily, ‘We’re going to penetrate these three markets by the end of the year’ and blah, blah, blah…
RM: Right. And the difference between intention and a goal, I think, is there is no attachment to outcome when you have an intention, whereas goals are very measurable and there is an attachment to outcomes. What happens for a lot of people is, how are you responding to those outcomes? You don’t hit your goals. And if that derails you….
MR: You’re devastated.
RM: And it doesn’t help anybody.
MR: And often I find it’s one thing if you can tell yourself ‘I’m going to set this numeric l goal. I’m going to sell 1,000 books this month.’ However, it’s another thing for you to be able to tell your psyche ‘That’s my goal and that’s what I’m shooting for and anything that I do short of that is still okay because, bottom line, I’m still selling books!” But I think a lot of people can’t do that for themselves. They think, if they only sell 950, they’ve failed.
RM: Right. And really when I hear that and I look at ‘I’m going to sell 1,000 books’ and if I’m only at 500, that for me is an opportunity to say ‘Why did I only sell 500 and what do I need to do differently if I want to get that number to move?’
MR: It guides ‘This is where I am’ but I think there’s an emotional aspect to this type of goal-setting where some people can do it and be okay – they know in their head that they’re not actually going to get that number but they’re driving the actions towards it – so whatever they get is gravy.
RM: It comes to, what is your perspective going in?
MR: Right. And I think it’s so hard to teach people that. To tell them to set a goal but hold it loosely so you have something to aim for but if you don’t reach it, it’s okay.
RM: And there’s an emotional intelligence piece to it because when you have some strong emotional intelligence you’re able separate the goal from your identity. So you’re able to look at it neutrally without equating “less books equals less me.”
MR: Right. The goal is actually just there to spur the movement. Like when I talk about the upward trajectory of your brand. As long as things are moving in the right direction, that’s a good thing.
RM: Which is why if you can focus on your intention, which is “What are you contributing? You’re contributing value to 500 people!” Not “I only sold 500 books.” That shift for people to focus on contribution is huge if they can make it, which I know is a tough thing to do.
MR: Great stuff, RM. Thanks for being here!
What did you think of this talk? What are your thoughts or questions about goals and intentions? How do you best plan for success? Please share below in the Comments!
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