Tag: leadership

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Employees: Empathy is a Two-Way Street

Posted on by Red Slice

We’ve been talking a lot about empathy in leadership. And after years at his, I’m realizing that many of us empathy activists might be perpetuating a problem: 

Some employees and team members think empathy is just a one-way street.

I’m not going to point any generational fingers at anyone, but many leaders I speak to in my workshops and keynotes are struggling with their, often younger, employees. These leaders are working  very hard to listen, engage, and connect with their teams. They are trying to embrace empathy.

But their team members are not extending the same courtesy

Empathy is not just a leader’s job. It’s a skill that everyone up and down the organization needs to strengthen and practice to ensure respect AND performance. (TWEET THIS!)

Here’s what I hear:

” I’m trying to be empathetic to my team, but when work slips and I ask for improved performance or extra commitment, I am instantly accused of not respecting boundaries.”

“I am bending over backwards to help my employee through some hard times, but now my team is working double-time to pick up the slack because the work still needs to get done.”

“I’m trying so hard to help everyone on my team who is affected by layoffs. Those who have to leave and those left behind. But I’m constantly met with anger, abuse, and disrespect. Where’s empathy for me? How can we get through this together? My health and stress are also suffering.”

We don’t have to “feel sorry” for leaders when we are in a bad position ourselves. Lord knows a few of them have made difficult situations all about them with absolutely zero empathy for their employees. 

But how about a little compassion up the chain, rather than just expecting it for ourselves?

Employees need to understand the larger context of what is going on in the business and the market.  It’s unreasonable to make demands or ask for a raise at the precise moment the company is laying off thousands of workers and cutting budgets. As I constantly tell my 8-year-old son: You’ve got to pick your moments.

If you as a team member want empathy from your leader, you need to extend it to them as well. Not everything can fall into a neat little box or be easy when times are tough, as they are right now in our economic uncertain times. Yes, stand up for yourself, set boundaries, take care of your mental health. 

All of us – leaders and workers – can show resilience. Show savvy. Show empathy.

We need to do the jobs we were hired to do – the company can’t perform and succeed if we don’t.  And we can be good teammates in a crisis. That might mean doing a bit more than expected, hopefully for a short period of time. But DO THE WORK.

If the work is too much, your skills are up to snuff, or you are simply overwhelmed – have THAT conversation with your manager. Find a way to solve the issues. Ask for help reprioritizing. Come up with creative solutions. Yes, maybe even work a few late nights to help your team through. Or perhaps, think about if you are really in the right role. I’m calling foul on those who use “lack of empathy” as a weapon when they simply can’t or won’t do the work – or won’t even temporarily do a little extra when tough times call for it.

Empathy is not just a leader’s job. It’s the job of everyone on the team to be empathetic to every human on the team – and that includes empathy for the leader. 

Photo credit: Ivan Aleksic

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Going Back to Office Life: Do Employees Fare Better at Home?

Posted on by Red Slice
PhotoCredit: Ben Kolde, unsplash.jpg

How do your employees work best? Well, it requires leadership empathy to understand your team best and help them thrive. Today’s guest post addresses the hot question right now of going hybrid or not is the recipe for future performance success. Guest Blogger Stephanie Hendricks is a full time freelance contributor to many leading small business growth publications. Including SmallBizTrends, SMBCEO, and Noobpreneur. In her free time, she enjoys traveling the American West in her sprinter van with her dogs.

When COVID first struck, most businesses wouldn’t allow their employees to work from home. For the most part, they simply didn’t want to relinquish control. There were also questions of efficiency.

Although remote work proved extremely lucrative, reducing office costs and other expenses, most companies couldn’t wait to bring people back. Unfortunately for them, some employees got used to the idea of working from home. Economic data indicates that this approach is the best option for both sides.

In this article, we’ll analyze whether or not working from home is actually worth it. Check it out!

Tackling the fears

So far, several studies have analyzed the impact of remote work. Given that most companies had to send their employees home, we have ample data to make some conclusions. Here are some general data:  

  • 51% of companies declared they’ll return their workforce to offices within the next year.
  • 53% of workers have had at least one infection in the office since they all returned.
  • Approximately 20% of employees now have a hybrid schedule.

One of the major concerns for employees is how they would adjust mentally to the newfound situation. Every third person said they were happy to return to the office. Interestingly enough, one-third of the workforce doesn’t want to come back. So, we’re split even in that regard.

Aside from the fear of COVID, there are other reasons why people don’t want to come back. For example, they’ve seen how productive remote working can be. During this period, employees experienced less stress and had more time for family and friends.

There are also less common reasons why some people don’t want to return.

“Employees that work in an esthetically unappealing environment are less willing to return,” according to the Collection, a premium office rental in Los Angeles. According to their data, the quality of the workspace has an enormous impact on employees. After enjoying all this time at home, they don’t want to return to a gloomy environment.  

Impact on productivity

The reason why most companies wouldn’t let their employees go home is that they feared losing productivity. And truth be told, some teams really struggled to meet their deadlines. This isn’t particularly surprising, given all the comforts and the lack of control.

But, there were also opposite cases. Some people worked even harder as they had much more free time on their hands. Among others, they felt free and didn’t experience the same level of stress as they would in the office.

Here is some data that would interest you:

  • According to a smaller Ergotron study, 40% of people worked longer while at home. The National Bureau of Economic Research shows something similar. According to them, the average work day was prolonged by 48.5 minutes during peak COVID. Based on that calculation, a person that has a 40-hour work week would annually work extra 193 days.
  • Another positive improvement has to do with balancing a job with personal life. According to the same Ergotron study, 75% of people said they’re now more productive at work while having much more time for their family. A few other studies corroborated similar data.
  • As previously mentioned, remote work also had a major positive impact on stress or, better yet, lack thereof. Out of all the people working from home, 29% experienced moderate job-related stress. This is down from 33% in 2019 when employees were still in the offices. Remote work had a similar impact on extreme stress, and these numbers fell from 17% in 2019 to 15% just a year later.

Other important figures

Based on everything we’ve shown you so far, it seems that remote work is fantastic for employees and companies alike. Here are some other interesting tidbits that favor working from home:

  • Employees were able to save 8.5 hours every week just because they didn’t have to commute. Annually, this would accumulate to 408 hours saved.
  • One of the reasons why remote work was so efficient for companies is because it allowed them to eliminate social interaction. For 70% of employees, social interaction is every bit as important as getting their work done.
  • Aside from having a positive impact on mental health, working from home was better for physical health. People who don’t visit the office exercise 30 minutes more during the work week.
  • Approximately 62% of employees have to work alone to reach maximum efficiency. That being said, being at home allows them to reach their maximum potential.
Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

What Causes Quiet Quitting?

Posted on by Red Slice

Your employees don’t have a commitment problem. You have a leadership and culture problem. 

Quiet quitting, in case you haven’t heard, means doing exactly what you’re required to do at your job and not a bit more. It’s really just a trending term for disengagement. Folks don’t outright quit but they fail to do more than the bare minimum, and they may or may not be quietly looking for a new gig on the side. And we even see a trend in schools with students who are burned out or overwhelmed.

Some senior leaders (read: Baby Boomers, or even Gen Xers that are my age, I admit) want to blame this on the same old thing they blame everything on: Today’s generation of workers are entitled, lazy, and want the world before they are willing to get any work done.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

When I worked in the corporate world before striking out on my own, I always used to tell my managers that the minute they needed to start worrying about me, was the minute I stopped being squeaky wheel, asking how we could do things differently, or playing devil’s advocate. And it was true. Ask anyone: I worked my a** off and delivered results, but I could be….well,” tenacious” might be a kinder word for it!

I remember the jobs and bosses that completely disempowered me. That never appreciated my contribution, or that robbed me of control over my career destiny. In those jobs, I started shutting up and looking elsewhere.

When employees are engaged and feel they are seen, heard, and valued – when they know their extra efforts have an impact – there is nothing they won’t do for you. 

Here’s the great news: Quiet quitting is not new – it’s just a trending hashtag now. (TWEET THIS!)

And it has never, ever been about the employee’s work ethic or talent. It’s always been about the environment they found themselves in and the people they work for and with. A smart person knows they should not give us their time, energy, or effort in a paid job unless they are receiving something in return. To call quiet quitting “laziness” or entitlement is just laziness and entitlement on the part of a MANAGER who wants to shift the blame.

Lead with empathy, actively listen, reward equitably, honor your people as human beings and proactively create an environment where employees can make a real impact and you will not have to worry about anyone quiet quitting on you. Full stop.

Photo credit: Charles Deluvio

More resources you may love:

Let’s Redefine Kind in Business

3 Leadership and Innovation Lessons from 100 Podcasts

Rebecca Friese on The Empathy Edge Podcast: How to Build a “Good” Culture

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

 Let’s Talk About A Better Workplace Culture

Posted on by Red Slice

Seth Godin’s daily posts range from the inspirational to the tactical. The mundane to the philosophical. So when a post punches me in the gut, in the best possible way, it gets me thinking. Which is his goal: Stop existing. Start thinking. Disrupt the status quo.

Recently, he wrote a post called But First, We Need to Talk About. The gist is that what we are willing to talk about gets attention, resources, and energy.  So when we’re unwilling to talk about end-of-life health care costs or oppressive capitalist systems, we can’t change things. Instead, we pour countless hours of conversation into things like political infighting, Tik Tok crazes, or why Kim Kardashian ever dated Pete Davidson (those last 2 are way far out of my wheelhouse)

The realization hit me: This is why I’m talking about empathy at work and creating better leaders, cultures, and brands. I want us to pay attention, yes, but to actually make a change. Transform.

It started out with helping my clients craft an empathetic and engaging brand story, rooted in purpose. And yes, advising them on where they need to walk that talk in their culture, leadership, processes, or habits.  But it’s become a bigger movement to me. One in which we rethink our existing models and narratives of leadership and organizational success.

For too long, we’ve adopted false and binary narratives that you have to choose between humanity and profits. That compassionate leaders cannot also be competitive. That ambition can’t co-exist with empathy and collaboration. That we need to be one person at work and another when we’re off the clock.

Who the hell made these rules? Oh, right, we did. Humans. Our capitalist and industrialized society.

And we blindly bought into this status quo.

Here’s the great news: We as humans have the power to CHANGE those rules. They are not laws of physics that cannot be broken. We made them. We can make new ones.. (TWEET THIS!)

But first, we gotta talk about it. 

We have to talk about what is not working, where we are not being inclusive, and how our business practices might be harming our people or the environment.  We need to admit that profit had been held up above all other concerns for too long.  And that we can have both/and rather than either/or. 

Then we need to talk about how we get there. How we re-establish new rules together. How we create a better workplace culture. How we make the entire for-business system better.

Are you ready to talk to your leaders, teams, and customers about the future of work and the empathy revolution? I’d love to help. Let’s chat about a transformative and provocative talk to kick this into action for your organization tomorrow! 

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Let’s Redefine “Kind” in Business

Posted on by Maria Ross

Conscious capitalism. Compassionate workplace. Empathetic leadership. Kindness at work.

What do all of these terms even mean?

Many times throughout my career, I’ve dealt with dysfunctional workplace cultures, leaders who were at best disinterested and at worst emotionally abusive. Co-workers that yelled at me. Like, screaming so nonsensically, I had to hang up on them.

We talk about this behavior os “unprofessional” or “counterproductive.” But I have a better term. It is mean. It is unkind.

But what does it mean to be kind in business?

Is it simply bringing cookies to work, or covering for a coworker, or saying please and thank you? Is it letting people walk all over you, or shrinking back, or saying yes to everything? Nope.

Let’s redefine kindness in business to mean….

…clarity. Being crystal clear about instructions, expectations and next steps. So no one is left unprepared or guessing.

...listening. Holding space for other ideas and viewpoints with judgment or defensiveness.

…managing expectations. So one is ever disappointed. Contracts, agreements, clearly worded objectives and goals.

…random praise. It’s not always about telling people what they can do better. It’s about sharing what someone did well, and doing it everyday. Not just during a performance review or project debrief.

…good timing. Showing up on time to respect someone’s time. Managing meetings so goals are met in a timely manner. Knowing when to share something with the group and when a private conversation is required.  Giving feedback in a timely manner.

…having tough conversations. Not avoiding conflict but openly and directly discussing when tensions are running high. It’s kind to address issues rather than sit on them and fume.

…loving honesty and directness. Honestly saying what you think and how you feel because you genuinely care. “I share this because I want was is best for the team and for you” versus “I share this to cut your down, shame you and make you feel bad.” See also Good Timing as a complement to this.

...admitting when you’re wrong. You respect others when you admit you were wrong about something and find a way forward together. You set a model that failure is okay and risk-taking is encouraged.

Clarity, listening, managing expectations and all the rest may seem like simply good communication tactics. And they are. But when done with love and respect for others as individuals and thinking, feeling, human beings, they become kindness. (TWEET THIS!)

More on how kindness and empathy show up at work:

Why does purpose matter?

5 ways your business can make the world a better place

3 ways to practice empathy at work

How to redefine success with empathy

Use your platform to do good

Photo Credit: Andrew Thornebrooke on Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

3 Ways to Practice Empathy at Work

Posted on by Maria Ross
3 Ways to Practice Empathy at Work

At a book signing, the panel moderator told me that she recommended my book, The Empathy Edge, to her friend – let’s call her Jennifer. Jennifer was in a really bad work situation with what she deemed an out of touch manager. Her boss treated her badly, didn’t listen to her ideas and generally acted like he was too busy to be there for his team. Jennifer was pretty fed up by this point, and knowing her worth and value in the market, was about to walk away. But she did like her job so she was eager to read my book.

Jennifer read my book and loved every word (the moderator’s words, not mine!). She promptly marched into her boss’ office the next day and before he could say a word, shoved the book in his hands and said, “I’m not happy with how you manage me or the team. It’s so hard to come to work everyday, but I love this job. I’m asking you to read this book and in a week, we can sit down and discuss it. If you don’t, I’m leaving.”

Her boss was stunned. To his credit, he did as he was asked.

They ended up having a great conversation. He had no idea how his actions were being perceived or the emotional toll it was taking on Jennifer. They made a plan to change how he treated the team, how he communicated, and also how the team responded and worked together to address his concerns as well.

Jennifer stayed in her job,

I have no idea if Jennifer is still there, but I love this story so much. It shows how much we can gain by communicating and being vulnerable when we have nothing left to lose. Her boss recognized many actions and intentions in himself from the book and, wanting to be a better leader and build a high-performing team, was willing to have the conversation.

Showing empathy at work is not as complicated as you think. (Tweet This!)

Here are 3 ways you can practice empathy at work:

  • Ask questions and actively listen: Whether you are the manager or just on a team of colleagues, start defaulting to “I’m right and you’re wrong” and instead ask questions first. “Tell me more about your idea. What makes you believe it’s the way to go? How do you see this meeting our goals?” 
  • Find common ground: In high-stakes situations, establish the common goal you both have, however basic, so you get on the same side of the table, rather than acting like two opposing forces. “We can both agree we want this campaign to succeed and drive more leads, right?” Even if it seems obvious, it’s a great way to diffuse tension and remind yourselves you are both on the same team. 
  • Check in with people: Before diving into the business end of the meeting, take a moment for everyone to ground themselves and share what’s going on for them. One CEO does this with his exec team every Monday, and they share how their weekends went, if they had fun, if they’re having a difficult time with their kids, etc. This gives others context to know where people are coming from and what they might need. It avoids assuming someone is being rude or testy because they don’t like your idea when the truth is that they stayed up all night potty training the new puppy.

Discover more actionable ways to be a more empathetic leader and create a more empathetic culture in my book The Empathy Edge: Harnessing the Value of Compassion as an Engine for Success. And learn from other innovative leaders on The Empathy Edge podcast!

Photo Credit: Aleksandra Sapozhnikova on Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Empathy for Others Starts with Empathy for Yourself

Posted on by Maria Ross

Empathy seems like such an outward, selfless act. And in many ways, it is. You must focus on another person, make space for them, and get out of how you see the situation through your own eyes and hold space as well for they see it.

This all sounds very noble. Until a very broken person attempts to be empathetic. That’s like trying to help others put on their oxygen masks when you are about to pass out from lack of oxygen yourself.

As the Dalai Lama says:

If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love others. You will not be able to love others. If you have no compassion for yourself then you are not able to develop compassion for others. An open heart is an open mind.

Empathy requires presence. It requires self-confidence to be able to make space and see someone’s point of view – without defensiveness or judgement.  If you are so caught up in your own insecurities, fears, doubts, and negative emotions, you will never be able to make space for another person’s point of view. You will never have the stable foundation needed to truly connect with another person and just be with them.

Empathy for others starts with empathy for yourself. (Tweet This!)

As I like to say, you have to have your own house in order before you can truly be empathetic to another person. Think about the most unempathetic bosses you ever had. Were they bullies? Insecure? Ego-driven? Just angry at life? Yep. You can bet their own “houses” were a hot mess. 

It’s truly hard to see that in the moment when those people are abusing you, but it requires us to have empathy for them as well.

You may very well have great intentions. You want to build a winning culture. You want to be an inspiring boss. You want to reap all the benefits of an empathetic brand and organization so you can succeed.

And I love that you’re here for it.

When people ask me where they can start building a culture of empathy, I always tell them the first step is to look inward. Practice presence and get really honest with yourself:

  • Why do you resist self-compassion?
  • Do you have empathy for your own imperfections?
  • Do you support yourself with self-care? True self-care, not just massages every now and then but care that nourishes your body, mind, heart, and soul?
  • Do you forgive yourself for your faults?
  • Do you need to bolster your self-confidence so you can be less defensive in the face of disagreement or conflict?

To show empathy to others, first start by showing empathy to yourself.

If you love this topic, please tune in and subscribe to The Empathy Edge podcast. We talk about all of this and more!

Photo credit: Cathal Mac an Bheatha on Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

How to Redefine Success with Empathy

Posted on by Maria Ross

Modern market trends, as well as the pandemic, show us that leaders and brands acting with genuine empathy are winning right now. When companies have been there for the community, valued employees, even made tough decisions like layoffs or closures with respect – the market has paid attention.

Just look at the media attention lavished on Zoom for offering free K-12 access to schools, Salesforce offering extended paid family care leave, or Starbucks increasing employee mental health benefits.

Beyond that, Research shows that Millenials and Gen Z demand a new kind of work culture. 71% of them want their workplace to feel like a second family. Top talent will no longer accept workplaces that don’t see, hear, and value diverse viewpoints. They’re demaniding respect. Work life balance. Empathy.

Companies and leaders ignore this shift at their own financial peril.

But why? Is it simply because you are too caught up in the day to day fires and stress to strengthen that muscle? 

Sometimes we avoid developing good habits because it’s easier to stick with the bad habits we know. Don’t let this happen with your leadership style. (TWEET THIS!)

There are so many organizational benefits to adopting an empathetic lens. Even if you need that kind of external motivation to ignite internal change, that’s fine. Just get there….before it’s too late.

Don’t wait for your CEO or “others” in your company to issue some decree. Start where you are. Be a new model of success in your own sphere of influence, wherever your sit. If you act with empathy through genuine curiosity, active listening, practicing presence – you’ll be able to get more done and be successful. You’ll reap all the rewards that research and experience shows empathetic leaders enjoy.

And when others see your path to success, you’ll start that ripple effect “Wow, look at how she operates. I can find success that way, too”  

You redefine success for others when you show them a model. They now see it’s possible to be compassionate and competitive. Ambitious and empathetic, Representation matters.  

We can bring influential leaders on board by showing them how empathy positively impacts the bottom line. And their behavior can have an exponential impact in redefining success.

Check out The Empathy Edge podcast to discover more real-world stories of leaders and brands that are redefining success through empathy.  

More reading for you about empathy as a new model for success:

 3 Leadership and Innovation Lessons form 50 Interviews

3 Ways to Show More Empathy to Your Customers

Does Empathy Make You A Better Leader…and Thought Leader?

Photo Credit: @smartworkscoworking via Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Are you an Empathy Hijacker?

Posted on by Maria Ross

“We can relate to people without hijacking the conversation” Communication expert Sharon Steed.

Sharon and I connected recently as we were both on an empathy panel together. I’m in love with her work transforming company culture with empathy. She has a great LinkedIn course about communicating with more empathy as well, and that’s where I got this insightful quote.

People often assume that sharing similar experiences with someone is empathy. Not quite. Empathy is more about listening and sitting with someone to see things from their point of view. Unless asked, it’s not about you hijacking the conversation and making it about you. 

You know you’re doing this if you ever tell someone: “I know how you feel, when this happened to me, I…..”

I say this with love, because I think we all (myself included) do this in an effort to show people we understand them. It’s our way of active listening and our intention is to make others not feel so alone. So I get it.

During my long recovery from a ruptured brain aneurysm, and even today, as I struggle with life-long cognitive impairments as a result, well-intentioned people do this all the time:

“You have to write everything down? Oh my gosh, I forget things all the time, too. You’re just getting older like the rest of us!”

“Wow, now you know how I feel, not remembering dates and faces.”

“I have bad short-term memory too – it must just be mommy brain!”

All of these are well-intentioned attempts to connect. But all this does is diminish another person’s pain and experience. For me, when someone says this, it negates everything I went through, all the therapy, education, and struggle, as if it’s no big deal. 

Somewhere along the line, we mistakenly learned that sharing your own similar experience was empathy. It’s not. (Tweet This!)

Empathy is about perspective taking, information gathering, and actively listening. It’s about acknowledging another person’s experience. Yes, where appropriate one can share lessons learned or how they got through something, but the initial sharing is not the time. Just be patient. Give the person room to process and share first before you dive in with wisdom or advice.

Your response is about you, not the other person. You want to feel more comfortable, or “fix” things for the other person. That is not what they need. They need to feel heard.

You can understand someone without hijacking the conversation.

Sharon also shared this gem in her LinkedIn course: “Patience means slowing down your response to judgement. Without patience, there is no empathy” (Tweet This!)

When someone is sharing their experiences, here are 4 things you can say instead:

  1. Tell me more…
  2. Wow, that must have been a lot to go through. How does it make you feel?
  3. What I hear you saying is…..is that right or do you want to share more? I’d love to understand more.
  4. How can I help?/What support do you think you might need?

Got more? Tweet me @redslice or DM me on Instagram @redslicemaria

Photo Credit: Jude Beck via Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

How to Listen to Your Inner Wisdom

Posted on by Maria Ross
How to Listen to Your Inner Wisdom

Has a leadership coach or self-help guru ever said to you, “You have all the answers inside of you; you just need to listen?” 

Upon hearing this, I usually roll my eyes. 

Please, I’m a smart cookie. If my intuition or whatever tried to speak to me during this crossroads, I would tell myself, I’d have heard it by now. But I’m still lost as to what to do. I’m still floundering. So she must not be speaking my language. 

But at a retreat a few years ago seriously changed my tune. Here’s what went down: 

I attended a women’s weekend retreat in Calistoga, California. Hosted by my lovely friend, speaker and author Shasta Nelson, this was about getting away, diving deep and learning how to listen to that quiet little voice that (seemingly) speaks a foreign language to me. 

Fueled by prompts, deep questions and fun exercises, we did a lot of journaling. Some of it was led by out guts, some of it was more thoughtful. We used words and images to wake up our inner wisdom and get it talking. Some of the work didn’t make sense at first….until it did and the insights cracked open right in front of me. 

While I’m not a “woo woo” kind of gal, I have to admit: it worked. 

The topics I journaled about, the images I was unknowingly drawn to, the words that popped into my head–they all pointed me to the same conclusions for how to spend my year.  True, some of these themes had been marinating for months, but I still craved clarity and direction. It dawned on me that I already had direction, but lacked  the confidence and permission to do what my soul was crying out to be done. I was too wrapped up in other people’s expectations and self-invented pressures. Doing the work shed those layers and forced me to face the core truth, with flashing neon lights pointing me in the right direction. 

I think I actually heard my soul huff in exhaustion, “Finally! She gets it!” 

What I uncovered is less important than how it was revealed. Like a lightning bolt, I finally got it. When people say, “You have all the wisdom you need inside of you,” all they mean is that… 

When you take the time to journal, or ponder, or use your gut to find images or words that speak to you (for whatever reason), themes will emerge.  (TWEET THIS!)

And you have to parse out and pay attention to those themes. While I was guided by activities and prompts all weekend, in the end, no one led me to these conclusions but my own subconscious. There was no therapist, guru or teacher spoon-feeding me these ideas. No one else but me came to those conclusions in my own heart and mind. 

This, my friends, THIS is what they mean by tapping into your inner wisdom.  

So how can you as a leader or entrepreneur, do it, too? I’m clearly not an expert, but here’s what worked for me: 

  1. Write down your thoughts. Yes, not everyone likes to journal, but you can’t believe the power of getting the slush and mud out of your head and onto paper. Feeling angry for no reason? Write it down. Have a daydream or desire? Write it down? Want to feel a certain way, even though you’re not sure what action it takes to get you there? Write it down. A sentence, a paragraph, a word, Whatever. If writing is not your thing, perhaps use simple one-word descriptors or images. The important thing is to get the chaos out of your head so you can examine it and find the patterns. It’s amazing what your subconscious is trying to tell you, but like a toddler, it can’t always find the right words, so it needs your help. 
  2. Find some quiet: Your wisdom is struggling for to speak to you: you just can’t hear it above the constant noise in your life. Turn off the phone, shut down email and go for a walk, sit by the beach or just lie on your couch with a warm latte in your hand. We try so hard to numb our confusion with external distraction that we can never discover what our body and intuition yearns to reveal. Maybe we’re scared. Maybe we’re lonely. But finding the quiet is essential to hearing the small voice inside of you. I have a rule of never listening to music while I walk my dog by the cliffs of the Pacific Ocean. I spend that time listening, dreaming and pondering in silence. It is truly a delicious luxury. 
  3. Share your journey: This one can be especially scary. But sometimes the best insights can come from hashing it out verbally with someone. Open up about your fears, dreams, and dilemmas with a trusted friend and as you do, you’ll find your own truths will reveal themselves as you talk it out. Introverts may not love this idea, but as an extrovert, I can tell you that some of my best ideas have come from talking things out. Forcing yourself to verbalize your desires and challenges (especially if you hate writing, see #1 above) helps you to clearly focus on the real issues. This is why talk therapy works so well. Try connecting in person with a confidante and instead of dishing about our latest Netflix obsession, spend time sharing what’s coming up for you in terms of direction and desire. You may surprise yourself. 

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